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Why does a man drink every day. The husband drinks, what to do - the advice of a psychologist




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Drunkenness is a disaster for anyone happy family... The relatives of the drinker and himself suffer from this. Therefore, to fight drunkenness means to fight not so much for the person as for. And the whole brunt of the struggle usually falls on the woman. For it to be more effective, you need to understand why do men eat and how alcohol addiction begins... Let's turn to the psychological and biological aspects of the problem.

The psychological aspect of male alcoholism

Alcohol consumption first forms a psychological dependence, and then develops into a physical one. Therefore, it is important to understand the reason why men start drinking. Psychology identifies a lot of reasons, but none of them can be considered an excuse... So, the most common reasons for a man to drink alcohol are:

  • Indulging your own weakness... The man begins to drink, as he perceives the use of alcohol after a hard work as a relaxing procedure or even praise.
  • Avoiding problems... The present state of affairs in the family, at work or in any other area of ​​life seems unbearable to him,
    and thus he forces himself to forget about the problem.
  • Lack of understanding... The cause of drunkenness can also be from the wife, lack of affection, lack of recognition of merits, merits, humiliation.
  • Low self-esteem... A man wants to feel relaxed, attractive and confident. Drinking alcohol makes him feel more socially active.
  • Family pressure... Perhaps it the only way men save themselves from pressure from their spouse, mother-in-law, mother or other family members. Mistrust, nagging, excessive demanding, jealousy ultimately undermine a man's self-respect.
  • For company... Among the society in which a man revolves, frequent alcohol consumption is the norm.
  • Overcoming a mental crisis... A young man may start drinking in order to muffle heartache(powerlessness, betrayal, etc.).

It is known that men, to whom society makes high demands, forcing them to be strong, decisive and successful, are terrified of not meeting these criteria... For the subconscious of a man, this is a signal of lack of demand, impossibility of domination, and, therefore, absolute inconsistency as a representative of his species. A man trapped in the iron grip of society, unable to realize himself in social, career or any other way, experiences much more acute suffering than a woman who finds herself in his place. AND alcohol helps a man to forget about this insolvency.

Think about which of the listed problems made your man or husband start drinking? Perhaps he has.

Alcohol use statistics


The biological aspect of male alcoholism

The main difference between male and female alcoholism lies in the difference in the work of the nervous system... The male body has evolved in such a way that psyche young man has less stamina, much worse adapts to changing external conditions of the environment, harder to bear stress... Here a popular remedy comes to the rescue - alcohol, which, once in the body, creates an imaginary feeling of relaxation and joy, which is actually oxygen starvation of brain cells. It turns out that a part of the brain is forcibly disconnected from the perception of often "unpleasant" information from the outside. Sleep while intoxicated physiologically is not just a dream, but a fainting spell caused by chemical disturbances in the brain.

Is drinking beer harmful?

Many men do not believe that drinking beer every day is alcohol abuse. It is just a pleasant drink, and in the evening it helps them to relax, promotes good communication in the company. Why men drink beer every weekend, men themselves justify tradition.

The opinion of doctors in this matter is unambiguous. They claim that beer is not at all a harmless drink, but alcohol, since it contains alcohol. If your man assures you that he does not know why men drink alcohol, but he is in spirit to drink a bottle of beer, then remind him that he is at great risk to his health.

If a man drinks every day


Getting used to get rid of all negative emotions with the help of alcohol (effective and easy way), a person does not know any other solution to problems. He acts as if on a trodden path, constantly resorting to his tried and tested means. After all, it relieves mental anguish and suffering. At the same time, the problems themselves have not been resolved in any way and have not gone anywhere (and more often, against the background of drunkenness, they are more aggravated).

Reaching intoxication, the drinker creates his own reality and can go into it, for a while leaving all the troubles and worries and troubles, running away from reality and freeing himself from the burden. But the reality that gives freedom from the load is like a kind of mirage. She still beckons, but does not save in any way, disappears as she becomes sober. A person, returning to reality, again faces problems. The circle is closed again.

What do psychologists advise in the question "why does a man drink a lot?" If you have identified a problem that makes your husband drink, you should not immediately strive, try to solve it together or contact a psychologist. The main thing is to eliminate the reason, since it makes a person escape from difficulties with the help of alcohol. If the reason a man drinks every day is because of an unhealthy family climate and bad relationships, a woman needs to think about how to change her behavior. It is important to understand that the family is a closed system; a change in one element will lead to a change in the entire system as a whole. If the reason why men often drink is a personal crisis, then nothing can be changed without serious work of the drinkers themselves.

How the family suffers from it

Of course, in the process of living with such a person, loved ones can get sick with neurosis. But it is also important to know something else. We ourselves choose a partner, subconsciously look for him among many applicants, and our heart responded to him. And we get exactly what we are ready for now. Therefore, the problem of why a man in a family drinks can be solved by joint efforts.

Of course, addiction may not appear immediately, but after many years, but only now the signs of his possible illness can be distinguished already at the stage of acquaintance. Pay attention to how the person responds to alcohol and the people who abuse it. Does he like to talk at the table on this topic and does he know the measure in this matter. And, of course, believe in your man, and he will definitely cope with his vice.

When in the house the head of the family often kisses alcohol or drinks constantly, this is no longer a problem, but a disaster. Psychologists say that alcoholism today is most acute in low-income families, when a man does not have a job or the one he goes to is low-paid. Also, alcohol dependence is growing due to tensions in the family. The causes of alcoholism can be called disorder in everyday life. There are plenty of factors affecting alcohol addiction. And in this regard, the question of many wives is pertinent, what to do and what to do if.

How to wean a husband from drinking? To begin with, it must be emphasized that alcoholism is a disease, and only those who drank and drink from day to day disagree with this statement. People who cannot imagine their existence without a bottle look at life in a completely different way than teetotalers. The morning for such individuals begins monotonously with the question of how to get rid of a hangover and where to get a drink as soon as possible.

They are not interested in absolutely anything other than the price of the cheapest wine. They forget calendar dates and do not always answer the question of what day is outside. Everyone, they ignore it, because it is a terrible and constant disease, and it needs to be treated as soon as possible. However, not every alcoholic will find the strength to convince himself of this. After all, he drank for a long time.

Another danger posed by drunkenness is unpredictability. An alcoholic person is not responsible for his actions. At any time, he can start stealing valuables from the house in order to rid himself of a hangover. Strongly, pawing for the collar every day, in a drunken stupor, he will easily hit his wife, his child.

When he is under the influence of alcohol, he has only one friend, comrade and brother - a bottle filled with intoxicated liquid. All the rest: mother, wife, daughter or son, if not enemies, then certainly not friends. He, without hesitation, is ready to raise his hand against any family member, and having sober up, the next morning, he will not always remember how the next drunk day ended. And he is also unable to make a moral effort on himself, change, deliver, cure himself of addiction.

First steps to recovery

In order for the husband to quit drinking, he will have to eat a pound of salt, since rare mothers and wives manage to wean their son, husband from addiction, defeat the disease at home, folk remedies. When my husband began to abuse and for him to quit this occupation, this will require moral strength and the help of a psychologist, a narcologist. A lot will have to be done, and above all, to convince the alcoholic to get rid of the addiction forever. When a man realizes the full gravity of his situation, a quarter of the job will be done.

Now we need to solve the question of how he became one. There are no girls who would deliberately marry alcoholics. That is, when there was a wedding, the chosen one was not like that. It means that he started drinking when something in life made him. There were problems that pushed me to the bottle. In most examples, it was not the mere fact of insoluble problems that became a catalyst, but a reluctance to solve them. It is much easier to get away from difficulties, for a day, a week, than to do away with the obstacles that have arisen once and for all, to learn to overcome them. But, is it possible to somehow teach such a person to convince to live differently?


Professional psychologists know the answer to the question of how to make a husband stop drinking. Some of them are convinced that they lie on several planes and that a whole range of problems will have to be solved. Cure at home may not work. If a man began to drink, the main thing is that he will have to heal the soul of a person, and only then the diseases that he acquired in the process of persistent addiction.

When a person drank, he did not realize that he was crippling the inner ego and his own health, therefore, a psychologist dealing with the treatment of an alcoholic always has a lot of work. It is not easy to cure such an individual who has sunk to the very bottom. When he started drinking, he did not think at all what it would lead to. I didn’t realize that it would not be so easy to stop myself, especially what to do in order to erase alcohol from my life. Persuading yourself to give up the bottle is much harder than saying no to her after a wedding or adult life... A guy who drinks can still be persuaded to stop, a man who is an alcoholic, it is practically impossible to cure, stop, get rid of alcohol forever.

Extreme measures

It is not just difficult to treat alcoholism, but in principle it is impossible. That is why it is dangerous. In exceptional cases, which can be counted on the fingers, drunken men return to normal life, do not break off on a free day, and do not kiss the bottle again. Therefore, the question of how to help a husband stop drinking or try to treat him is not easy to answer.


Some psychologists give harsh advice:

  1. Forcing him to treat forcibly so that he finally stops drinking.
  2. To save yourself and your family from a heavily drinking person by limiting funds, that is, not giving a penny to get drunk until he realizes the extent of the disease and agrees to drug treatment.
  3. Stop addiction in other ways, for example, until it is completely cured.

The measures are really tough, but, as mentioned above, when it is multifaceted, it is not so easy. Only a strong-minded person is able to overcome addiction alone. Others are in for defeat and even deeper degradation. Therefore, in this context, you need to be extremely patient and to the question of how to wean your husband to quit drinking - to answer firmly and confidently if the spouse is ready to fight for him.

When women ask how to deal with their husband's drunkenness, part of the answer lies in themselves. They must adhere to a certain strategy of behavior and find out the root cause, and only then try to cure the person. Recall when he started drinking and what served as a catalyst, and whether the negative trend has continued to this day.

Also, you should not throw tantrums every day, as they will only exacerbate the problem. He drank and will drink - this, unfortunately, is a proven fact. A psychologist in this situation can really help with advice. The main thing to remember is that you can save your husband from alcohol with the help of his own weaknesses. Remember what he loves the most, besides the bottle, and try to introduce him to your favorite activities. Set a condition - you will definitely have it, but only you have to beat alcohol, stay sober every day. This method will help and here's why.

Why coercion is ineffective

The fact is, when a person is truly passionate about what they love, they don't think about alcohol. All his thoughts are absorbed in an exciting activity, and if it still benefits, in addition to moral satisfaction, it is doubly pleasant. That is, you need to make your husband do something useful for himself. Then he will forget that he once drank every single day.


Many psychologists have a negative attitude towards the opinion that it is necessary to treat an alcoholic compulsorily. You can stop such a person only by force and any advice or persuasion will not help. The negative side of the question of how to wean a husband from drinking by harsh methods looks something like this:

  • a person can react inadequately to any aggression;
  • to cure a husband with the help of violent methods - rarely, which woman succeeds;
  • he began to drink, drank and will continue to do so, that is, it will be virtually impossible to stop him;
  • after all, every person is a person and any violence, even with good intentions, is unacceptable.

There are a lot of pitfalls in the question of how. and it is advisable to do this right away, before the husband starts drinking "in the dark". Young guy addicted to alcohol, it is better to treat folk remedies at home. They can solve the problem of how to get the husband to stop drinking. In pharmacies, they will advise various infusions, herbs from addiction to alcohol. Also useful:

  • lovage root;
  • centaury grass;
  • Bay leaf;
  • a decoction from the shoots of the ram-ram.

They are insisted at home in a special way. These folk remedies should help in the fight against alcoholism.

V modern world there are quite a few men who regularly consume alcohol in large quantities. Wives, children and themselves suffer from this. Most women want actionable advice from a psychologist on what to do when their husband is drinking.

What if my husband lies and drinks?

If the husband drinks alcohol more often than several times a month, and sometimes every day, then we can talk about alcoholism. This is a rather complex problem that cannot be solved by itself and will require a lot of effort on the part of both the wife and the man. A husband may lie to his wife and justify his behavior by fatigue, the prevailing circumstances or the insistence of friends who actively offer to drink a glass of beer, wine or stronger drinks. In fact, these are just excuses and excuses with which he covers up his weakness. To effectively fight alcohol addiction, it is important to read the tips on what to do if your husband drinks often:

  1. To understand that alcoholism is a problem for the whole family and must be dealt with together.
  2. Do not insist on coding or the use of special drugs.
  3. Do not torment your husband with constant reproaches, but sit down and try to figure out the reasons for alcohol.
  4. Try to avoid visiting guests where there is a possibility of drinking alcohol.

Many men drink from the fact that they lose faith in their strengths and capabilities. In this case, the woman should give him that confidence. It would be nice to come up with some interesting activity that can captivate the husband so much that he will not have time to spend his leisure time drinking alcoholic beverages. Quite often, when women do not know what to do, if the husband drinks a lot, they begin to blackmail with divorce or children. This should not be allowed. Such a position can only aggravate the situation, but will not bring a positive result.

What to do when my husband drinks heavily?

Some men may drink occasionally. So, for example, during the year they control themselves. But then the accumulated problems make themselves felt and result in a binge for a week, two, three, and sometimes a whole month. This is a rather difficult situation that cannot be resolved by itself. The best option is to contact a specialist, communicate with a psychologist who can identify the problem, and also prescribe treatment. In some cases, doctors prescribe special drugs, as well as sedatives. Quite often, after undergoing special treatment, as well as working with psychologists, a person is cured. He gets rid of the addiction.

No matter how a woman struggles with the question of what to do, if her husband drinks constantly, the problem can be solved only if the man himself realizes his problem and wants to change.

Anti-drinking options

Women have been successful in using various tricks to stop their husbands drinking. For example:

Of course, such methods have a right to exist, especially when a man does not drink very often and can control himself. Unfortunately, when alcoholism has become an integral part of a husband's life, such options are not effective. They can only cause aggression and continued hard drinking. In this case, the most the right decision will be the coding for specialists. In this case, a person should be brought to this very carefully. It is best if he wants it himself.

A man's addiction to alcohol is gradually destroying the family. The woman begins to desperately look for ways to help rid him of his addiction. As a rule, she first persuades, then begs (for her, children, their families, etc.), then goes on to threats, pours alcohol into the sink and, as a last resort, begins to drink herself so that the man gets less. Some turn to pills, go to old women-sorcerers for some miraculous drug. As a rule, all these measures help only temporarily or do not help at all. What should the alcoholic's wife do? What if my husband drinks?

Help yourself

When a woman gives up and admits the futility of her fight against her husband's alcoholism, this is the first step to recovery. At first glance, this may seem strange, but, saving an alcoholic, she turns out to be codependent on a man's addiction to alcohol. By becoming a victim and starting to complain to others about how unhappy she is, the woman will indeed lose. Therefore, you need to abandon such a policy and take care of yourself, your personal growth, become confident, independent. Only in this case you can help a loved one.

Make him admit the fact of alcoholism

One of the main tips from psychologists is to help your husband openly admit that he drinks. Indeed, often a person really does not realize that he has come to drunkenness. He thinks he can give up drinking whenever he wants. What should a wife do in this case?

Your task is to bring the problem to him, to show that it really exists. Any methods are suitable for this. You can even film your husband's drunken brawl on camera and then let him look at his sober head. When he recognizes "I am an alcoholic", it is already possible to proceed to treatment. The main thing is that a person himself must want to get rid of addiction.

Check out his self-esteem

It needs to be raised as soon as possible. After all, when you married him, it was a completely different person. Obviously, something has changed in his and your life not for the better, so he started drinking. After all, a person who is successful in personal relationships and career cannot suddenly become an alcoholic. Praise your husband for any positive traits, try to support his endeavors, remind him of his achievements, focus on his successes, at least for a while give up reproaches, and he himself will want to become better.

Change your tactics

Your husband drinks every day. What if he constantly comes home drunk? Of course, the man already imagines your reaction in advance: dissatisfaction, lamentations, reproaches and threats, or, conversely, absolute ignorance of his arrival. Hit the person. Greet your husband happily, with a smile, pretend not to notice his terrible condition. Such unexpected behavior most often causes shock and makes you think about your behavior, feel your own guilt. Perhaps this will be the starting point for positive change.

Obey the law of absolute sobriety

Seriously taking on sobering up your husband, you must completely abandon any alcohol consumption in the apartment. Birthdays, wedding anniversaries - nothing should be a reason for drinking. Prohibition must be strictly observed. Just make it the rule of your life, otherwise the man will return to drunkenness again.

Complete your free time

There are a million tips on how to get your husband to stop drinking, but few thought: what to do next? After all, many alcoholics are accustomed to living in their reality and spending their evenings in the company of drunk friends. If you have convinced the person to give up alcohol, you should offer them an alternative. The best thing is if the former alcoholic starts playing sports. This will help you get through the difficult period of getting used to your new life. Surely you have a lot of chores around the house. Tell your husband that you need his help. Let him fix the leg of the chair, hang the picture, change the socket. Soon the man himself will begin to find himself many new and useful activities.

Ask loved ones for help

Can't handle it alone? Talk to family or non-drinking friends. Let your parents, neighbors, or coworkers frequent your home. In this case, the husband will not want to show himself in an unsightly way in front of people whose authority he values ​​quite highly. Another important point: a man should not know that guests will come to you. It will be to his advantage a couple of times to be ashamed of his own mother or a close friend for his unsightly behavior. This is to make a person think once again before taking a glass again: what if you are not alone at home again?

Drastic measures

All of these tips are relevant when a person has not yet become a chronic alcoholic. In the initial stages, addiction to alcohol can be overcome by psychological methods. But what if the husband is already sick with alcoholism? To make him drop pit b, professional help is needed. Sometimes the only way out is treatment in a drug treatment clinic. And if your spouse has reached such a state, you need to show sufficient rigidity and not give in to his pleas and assurances that the drinking is over.

Talk to your boyfriend calmly. Tell us how worried you are that he often drinks alcohol. Say that next to a drunk gentleman you do not feel safe, it is unpleasant for you to kiss him, you cannot burrow into his chest while lying on the couch, as the clothes smell of fumes. Do not shout, do not refer to the opinion of friends about your man, do not say that you are ashamed to be near him - this will cause reciprocal aggression. You are only talking about the two of you, so say what you don't like.

Understand and help

Drinking regularly must have a reason, and if you understand what is pushing the young man to the bottle, it will be easier for you to deal with the problem. Perhaps he is dissatisfied with himself and his appearance, considers himself boring and uninteresting, embarrassed and uncomfortable in your presence. Or he is not satisfied with his work, he believes that he has achieved little, but at the same time he is in constant tension and cannot relax. If you know what the problem is, you can help resolve it. Help the guy to find his image that will be pleasant to him, tell us how good you are with him, how smart and interesting he is. Encourage you to find a new job, suggest effective stress-relieving techniques: perhaps you could play sports together or walk more often in nature. If the problem lies in finding the meaning of life, which a young person is not able to discern without alcohol, it is likely that in this situation, a psychologist's consultation is required. However, all these methods are only good if the guy wants to solve the problem as much as you do. Otherwise, you're just wasting your time.

And here is the squirrel

Many drinkers do not consider themselves alcoholics until they receive clear evidence of this - hallucinations. Usually at this moment they are finally, scared, take up their minds and ask for help. If you are desperate and ready to do anything to get your loved one to stop drinking, try to play him. Tint the water in the decanter with brilliant green, take a couple of domestic rats from a friend and let them walk around the apartment, ask a neighbor friend who is aware of your problem to hide on the balcony in a foil hat and periodically look out from there and examine the young man through binoculars. Answer all the questions of the perplexed guy that you see nothing of the kind. A frustrated young man, most likely, himself will offer to call an ambulance. However, be careful, because in some cases, people who drink can behave extremely unpredictable.