How to find out if a husband communicates with an ex. Husband communicates with ex-girls - what to do
Hi this again Lesha Dar.
Now I will try to give advice to a girl who is in despair, and her question sounds like this ""
By the way, if you want me (Lesha Dar) to analyze exactly your situation with a man on this or another topic, then immediately subscribe to my newsletter ( entry form at the end of the article), and I will answer you through it. Everything is confidential and free.
And here is her letter:
Hello Alexey. Was shocked by changes in thinking, the newsletter helps to understand men. I am turning to you for help, since I am already on the verge of insanity. My boyfriend and I are getting married the day after tomorrow, during months we expect the appearance of our son.
We live together, it would seem, why grieve. But no ... The former lady (they were together for 6 years) constantly makes itself felt. Daily and nightly calls at any time of the day, and yesterday called me on the phone and cursed me and my child, called her larva and whore, screaming that I had taken him out of the family (although when we met him, I did not know that they were dating).
She said that I would soon bend, because brought damage to me and the babythat there will be no happiness for us and that the most interesting thing was said by such a phrase, I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU AT QUIET AND WILL NOT LIVE TO LIVE.
She said that she and my boyfriend are dating and sleepingthat they are doing well. I am shocked by everything, he sleeps at home every night, and when we call each other at work every hour. There was a terrible scandal, he denies everything.
I'm nervous bleeding from my nose and my stomach ached, pressure increased and cramps in the lower abdomen began. I understand that my condition is very harmful for the baby, but I can not calm myself.
It has been going on for over a year now. I already have an inadequate reaction to his phone, I constantly think that she is ringing, and I am gradually losing my mind.
He says he doesn’t need herthat a long time ago it's over. Then the question is, why does he TAKE the phone to her? if he didn’t want, he wouldn’t answer her.
On the quiet, I checked his phone - there are incoming calls from her, which means they communicate behind my back, I don’t understand him — he lies to me ????????
For example, I put unnecessary people on the black list. Why can't he do this? she is constantly there ... She is like a third person in our family. I can’t do anything, he’s not talking to me, but only over the threshold and communicate.
Once he signed her male name , I saw and asked why? He said not to upset me.
How can I overcome this problem? Should I go to the registry office knowing that she is and will not go anywhere? I tried to talk to her like a woman, I did not scream or insult her, but besides x ... ev I heard nothing. Alexey, HELP AN ADVICE, WHAT DO I DO?
So, I will try to give advice to the girl in this situation and answer her question " If a guy communicates with an ex-girlfriend, what to do?»
And the situation here is the following, man - a full ragwho can not make a single decision without women's help.
In the end he cannot refuse her ex, and at the same time cannot go to her! He has to listen to the negative on both sides and wait for everything to resolve itself, but this is complete nonsense!
In fact, the girls expect from him that he will finally make a choice, but he physically cannot do this, since raised by stupid parents, where, most likely, the main mother was in the family!
And they taught him the following things:
You must obey the woman, bend under her and fulfill her every whim, and God forbid, you offend the girl with something, then you will not be forgiven, and you will not be a man!
So back to the question “If a guy is talking with an ex-girlfriend?”
As a result, in adulthood, from such a man a rag is obtained, on which you can wipe your legs, and the girls who are next to him constantly suffer and suffer because of him!
Such a man cannot protect his girlfriend, since he can’t harm his ex-girlfriend (maternal education affects).
To do a real man in this situation?
A real man would meet with an ex-girlfriend and explained to her who is in charge, and would say goodbye to her forever!
And if the ex-girlfriend tried to insult his future wife, he would also hung lyuley goodso that she understands what's what!
As a result of it future wife would be happy and i wouldn't put my child in danger!
So what needs to be done in this situation?
Actually her boyfriend revealed his true face and showed who he is in fact, but in reality he is a mattress that cannot do anything!
My question is, can this guy make a girl happy if he even makes a goof at the wedding?
Of course she will not be able, and marrying him is utter nonsense!
Of course, there is one possibility, but for this you just need let him go on timeso that he understands himself and still makes a decision.
And there may be 2 options:
1. He will return to his inadequate ex-girlfriend, but this girl will gulp for a while, but then find a worthy man
2. He will send the ex girl away, and marry this girl (but I don’t really believe in this option, since a wimp is weak in Africa too and he won’t change so quickly)
Conclusion: If a girl does not understand men, constantly underestimates herself, does not develop the necessary feminine qualities, then she will always choose a mattress for herself, with which she will torment herself and the child!
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A husband or boyfriend communicates with an ex-girlfriend - this is a situation that cannot but disturb. Many women try to suppress such friendship with all their might - of course, the reason for this is ... But is it always dangerous for current relations that a man is friends with an ex? We understand together with the non-banal female site “Beautiful and Successful”.
Why does a man communicate with ex?
Let's not immediately raise the most terrible suspicions, but think about how the friendship of two people who once had a romantic relationship or even a marriage bond might look like.
If husband communicates with ex-wife because of common childrenthen this is understandable. Friendship is the best that separated parents can show the child. I think that explanations about how the conflict between the two closest and closest people can affect the children's psyche will be unnecessary.
And if there are no children- then what can unite former spouses (or boyfriend and girlfriend)? Look objectively at these two facts:So, if your man managed to build friendly relations with his child’s mother, he should give him credit: he is a really good father!
- Once these people chose each other and felt strong sympathy for each other. So, there really are many unifying moments between them, because that choice was not an accident, a “random”. And no matter what the disconnecting factors were after that, but this initial choice was not groundless.
- During a close relationship, people learn all the “cracks” of each other, establish a kind of “communication field”, which very rarely arises between heterosexual people who have never been in a romantic relationship. Moreover, this “common language” has nothing to do with sexual desire and sympathy - it is about communication. Even couples who parted due to strong contradictions, grievances, etc., often for many more years retain this ability to instantly understand their ex / ex. Because you look at him / her, remember how this strict beauty (or this respectable businessman) jerks a leg in a dream, say some of your “code” phrases (“Hedgehog, don’t freak out!”) - and there’s no problem!
These two points, in fact, are enough for a man not to want to “scatter” such ex woman and kept communicating with her in a friendship format.
Why, then, are we all completely absent? Yes, because offenses, unresolved disputes, etc., are often imposed on this “key” to friendship.
And besides - people change, live their own lives, do not want to "drag" old acquaintances into their new realities ... This is understandably everyday. But the situation where the guy is friends with the former, from the category of acceptable should not be deleted.
The husband is friends with the ex-girlfriend: when is it worth to sound the alarm?
If a man communicates with the former - what to do ?. Something bothers you - hide, watch!
What should alert you?
- A man makes a choice in favor of the former in those matters when the current partner also has her own interest. For example: going to help a girlfriend with repairs, spending that day off, which you planned to spend only together, takes the whole evening correspondence with the former, although you are nearby and would also like to chat, etc.
- The guy is friends with the ex-girlfriend purely tête-à-tête: he doesn’t introduce you to her, at their meetings usually no third parties are present (for example, her new man or their common friendly company).
- You will learn about the extensive and frequent communication of your man and his former passion all of a sudden. The classics of the genre are open correspondence on the Internet, an untimely phone call, and ... In general, if a man is hiding something - this is strange!
If you are unpleasantly worried about how much time and enthusiasm your man spends on communicating with his ex, then do not be silent! Tell him about it, explain the reasons for your discontent and suspicion. In the end, not all men are so insightful to immediately and without explanation see that the woman was offended by something!
When a guy is friends with an ex, and you can’t overcome your zealous feelings, this should not be your personal problem.
You do not have to suppress all emotions, and a man must be aware of what kind of actions he offends you. If you are jealous in vain - let him prove it to you, demonstrating that you are a priority for him, and friendship with the former is in the background. If the suspicions are not unfounded, then he will not waste your time and patience, but will have to choose which of the two women is more valuable and important to him.
Almost every man has ex-girlfriends, but sometimes it turns out that a man breaks up with a woman, finds himself new girlstarts a family, but a spark of love and any other worries connects the man with his ex-girlfriend, and then their meetings begin, which over time can lead to the restoration of their relationship. We recommend that you read
REASONS FOR WHICH HUSBAND TALKS WITH THE FORMER
LOVE: Many men after breaking up, even if the woman was the culprit of the divorce, that is, the man himself decided to break up, the man may have new warm feelings for his ex-girlfriend and may even flare up new love. This happens when an ex-girl gave a man something that a real woman does not give, maybe he doesn’t get any joy in sex, or not the kindness that was from the ex.What to do in this case? Here may be the only answer, it is by all means and efforts to try to separate the husband from the ex-girlfriend, including under the guise of an ultimatum, me or her. After all, if they still have love, then what kind of love can be with you? If you can’t excommunicate him, then think about your further relations.
CHILDREN: Also, a very common reason why a husband communicates with an ex-woman is that they have children in common. In this case, the husband communicates not so much with the ex-girlfriend as with his children, and all communication with the ex should be limited exclusively to the topic of the children. We recommend that you read
What to do in this case? Unfortunately, it is difficult to discourage a husband from communicating with an ex-woman in the case of common children, and it can be said to be wrong. The child should receive full communication with his father, because it is not his fault that mom and dad divorced. Although, of course, there is a great risk that ex-wife pulls your husband back.
BUSINESS: Sometimes a very rare reason why a husband communicates with an ex-girlfriend is their common business, or for example, they work in the same company and, as a result of their service, a man cannot help communicating with his ex-woman. We recommend that you read
What to do in this case? If the husband and his ex work at the same job, try to persuade the husband to find another job, but if this does not work, for example, the husband has a good salary. Try to get his ex to be fired from your husband’s job. Or humble yourself and just trust your husband, because both of you are practically in a hopeless situation, and maybe he also has to endure the presence of his ex and believe me, this is in most cases unpleasant for a man.
FRIENDS: People part, but give each other a promise to remain friends, although sometimes it’s not friendship, but a distant preservation of each other just in case, and if it doesn’t work out with a new woman, then I’ll return to my ex. If the husband does not connect anything with the ex-girlfriend, but they sometimes call up, talk and possibly even meet, then this is most likely the case, they keep each other just in case.
What to do in this case? In this case, it is necessary to do exactly the same as in the case of the presence of a husband and former spark of love, that is, they need to be separated and communication should be limited to zero. Otherwise, there is an option that the husband may return to the former.
WHAT TO DO IF HUSBAND COMMUNICATES WITH THE FORMER
If they have children, do not limit the communication of the father with the child.
- If they do not have children, but communicate for love or as friends, then limit their communication. Talk with your husband that you do not like his communication with the ex, maybe even give him an ultimatum and a choice between you and her. If it does not help, think about your future relationship.
- If the husband communicates with the former at work, then either endure or force the husband to change his job.
And most importantly, communication with an ex-girlfriend usually happens because you don’t give your husband something that your ex gave, and often, it lies in personal relationships and sex. Ask and talk with your husband about this, correct yourself, and the husband will understand that you are better, and then, perhaps, he will stop communicating with the ex-girlfriend.
Often, not only a woman cannot part with the past. Although the guys are considered less emotional than the young ladies, they are unique among them, able to maintain relations with almost all their partners for a very long time. Yesterday he “walked” Katya with her baby (from another, naturally), last week set up Inna a laptop, and in October Tatyana came from Italy to see her parents. Who, if not Sasha, will meet her and help carry heavy bags? Such a situation at first surprises, and then annoys and annoys, because in addition to natural suspicions and doubts about the feelings of a loved one, another thought creeps in. “At what stage will I just become a friend for him? And is this person capable of any long-term relationship in general? ”
What if your man communicates with the former? What to do if there are several "ex" at once? Now let's try to figure it out!
Why is he talking to her?
What is it - a hypertrophied sense of responsibility or not extinct feelings? Paradoxically, the more a young lady takes care of her beloved, the lower the level of danger. But if you hear from him something like “You can’t imagine how vulnerable Olga is! If I tell her that I can’t help with the delivery of the cabinet, she will get to the hospital with a nervous breakdown, ”there is reason to beware. Especially if Olechka is sufficiently wealthy to pay for the services of a loader.
What should I do?
Even if you are annoyed to the core, try to hide it. The love of a gentleman in another is usually felt quite quickly, and it hardly makes sense to fight for such a man. Although you can try to show wisdom, - maintain conversations about the former passion of a loved one with him, do not prohibit providing assistance, and in between insert something like “Wow, and how can it make you carry such heavy things!” But her current boyfriend does not even think of helping her, ”she does not understand. standing menpoor thing. By the way, maybe we should offer her our cabinet from the headset, well, the one that remained after a change of scenery? ”
If a man communicates with his ex-lawful wife, and at the same time with own child? Caution! According to statistics, 80% of “former” become “current” again, especially if there are children left in that family. Only patience, diplomacy and tact will help you keep your loved one with you.
If he communicates with several women
Bring the situation to the point of absurdity! Do not refuse with an indignant look from the night gatherings with the "Italian" Tatyana - you need to know the "enemy" in person. Passing with a sweet past a children's store, go for a soft elephant for Katya’s baby - at the same time you’ll hint that you wouldn’t mind making one yourself. In parallel, it will be possible to study potential rivals and find out in more detail what attracts your sweetheart in these women. To do this is simple: for sure your man will seek to introduce you. This type of polygamy (don’t worry, he doesn’t sleep with them ... most likely) involves creating an extensive network of relations - he flaunts the number of ladies who still communicate with him and are always happy to see him, he likes to feel necessary and in demand.
What you need to know in such situations
1. It’s not a fact that such a mega-demanding person doesn’t want to dilute boring life with new acquaintances - if possible, take a look at his social networks and see if there is a sweet one on dating sites. Yes, spying is bad, yes, you need to trust. You trust, but it’s just as important to think about yourself: a male polygamist of this kind is even more dangerous than an open womanizer. He doesn’t seem to be cheating, but he doesn’t even talk about creating a family. How many years are you willing to spend on waiting? And isn’t this his hypertrophied sense of responsibility towards strangers to him avoiding true responsibility, in the end for you, your relationship, your own parents ?;
2. If your beloved’s one is only one, it would be nice to find out what kind of feelings he has for her - secure yourself in advance so as not to be a temporary alternate aerodrome. It is worthwhile to establish relations with the dear friends and his relatives, if so far you have not done so. He does not want to introduce you to them? If you have been dating for more than six months, but still only heard about the former, there is reason to think: does he need you at all? And he to you?
3. Try to establish the personal life of a potential rival. At the same time, run test number 2, looking at the reaction of your man. Is he jealous? Or is he even glad that now your pretty colleague at work will configure Inne's laptop? Connect him to the worries of the unsettled young lady. It is unlikely that any of his friends will flatter her - after all, they don’t perceive the "former", it’s unpleasant for them to think that someone else knows how she ... well, you understand. However, suddenly, surrounded by a loved one, has someone appeared since then?
4. Sometimes a man communicates with the former in connection with common interests. Together they went to the mountains, for example, and you prefer beaches and the sea to mountaineering. Just in case, try to take part in his hobbies at least a couple of times. After all, you might like it, and a hobby is a terrible force in the struggle for His attention.
And remember the main thing: it’s not so scary if you see that your man is talking with his ex. Much worse if you have no idea about it!
Dinara Tairova | 11/03/2014 | 1034Dinara Tairova 11/03/2014 1034
Creating a family, everyone brings his past to it. Today you can find out about the “former” husband by looking at his page in social networks. What should I do if I noticed an ex-partner in his “friends”?
Some women arrange jealousy scenes or interrogations “with prejudice,” while others silently accumulate resentment. In any case, the virtual life of a man casts doubt on the relationship with a real companion.
Why are we talking with ex?
When getting married, many women willingly “appropriate” their husband, forgetting that any man who even has a marriage has the right to personal space.
This is especially true for those for whom the need for freedom and independence is one of the main. It is important for them to be a man in the eyes of not only his wife, but also other women. This ensures communication with the "ex" through the Internet.
If a man “collects” them on social networks, this may indicate that he is not confident in himself, because flirting and online friendship help to increase self-esteem and feel more meaningful. However, whatever the friendship between a man and a woman is, it always contains a hint of something more, even if only for one.
Virtual communication is no exception. For a woman, the fact that the “former” recorded her as “friends” may mean the hope of a resumption of relations.
As for the man, this most often indicates that he could not draw the line between the past and the present. Perhaps it is difficult for him to say no to the former, or perhaps thanks to online communication with her, he receives something important that he is currently deprived of marriage.
How to react to the virtual communication of the husband with the former?
Much depends on how exactly you learned about it. It’s one thing if the husband himself spoke about his girlfriends, and it’s quite another when you “wool” the Internet and mobile phone looking for evidence. This immediately demonstrates your relationship with your spouse.
In order not to break firewood, first of all, calmly analyze the situation. Do you feel confident next to your husband, does he give you enough warmth and love?
Often, jealousy scenes (and this is the most suitable occasion for them) "reveal" the long-accumulated tension in the pair. Perhaps your family is going through difficult times now.
The stronger your suspicions, the more you are not confident in yourself as a woman. The husband’s virtual girlfriends are just one of the signals about the problem. Arranging a jealousy scene for her husband and demanding “remove everyone from friends” is the easiest way. Will it only keep intimacy between you?
Most likely, the spouse, on the contrary, will move away, trying to protect his territory, and even more often will disappear in virtual world. The only way out is to answer honestly to myself the questions: how much do you trust your spouse? Do you feel that you are winning as a woman compared to his "former"?
The stronger you feel threatened by virtual rivals, the less confident you are in your bond with your husband. Before looking for new evidence of his infidelity, try to figure out what happened between you two.
Meanwhile, the discovery of "former" in the life of your husband can not only destroy your relationship with him, but also contribute to their development. If it is important for you to keep your family, first of all, learn to appreciate everything that was and is between you, which makes your couple unique and lasting, protects love and devotion to each other.
Constantly doubting your spouse, you will not achieve a positive result. Of course, it is difficult to stop controlling it and start unconditionally trusting, but as you know, the more jealous you are, the more this indicates that there is no trust and sincerity between you.
After all, he may have also loved before, but made a mistake and could not save his feeling. And now he is here with you, he is your husband. It's his choice.
Appreciate the present, instead of plunging into the virtual past, take care of the warmth of your love, and then it will become a guard against unpleasant intrusions into your family of "third superfluous".
