Wife filed for divorce: find out the reasons. I don't want to divorce my wife

Your wife filed for divorce, and in horror you are trying to get her back, you have no idea what can be done now. You have a panic, it seems to you that this is already the end. But, to tell you the truth, your situation is not so bad. If you are not yet divorced, this means that you have time to use to stop your wife, to make her change her mind. Do not think that now you need to jump out of the house, run to your wife, kneel before her and beg to forgive you. These miserable actions will only further convince the wife that she was right when she left you. Pity is far from the best and not the most correct feeling that a woman should have for a man.

So you have time. The wife is angry with you, otherwise she would not have filed for divorce, but would have paused to watch, and suddenly you change. And here the situation is such that the wife is not going to give you a single chance. I do not exclude the possibility that she already had another, and she wants to start her relationship as a free woman. Perhaps your wife will put forward various material claims to you, which can not be called fair and adequate, do not argue, if it even reminds of a theater of absurdity. Assign your wife, but tell me that you need time to put everything in order, weigh everything and make a decision that will suit your wife.

Do not scandal and do not provoke your wife to aggression. She probably herself understands that she has gone too far. Do not threaten your wife that you will take the common child. Men often do this, but it's stupid. You do not intimidate your wife, but only anger. Courts in our country most often leave a child with a mother, your chances are small. And that is why it is not worth shaking the air. In addition, taking the child away from the mother will not harm the wife, but the child. The saddest thing in this situation is that fathers often take their children not for the reason that they really need children, they just want to make a woman out of spite, revenge, hurt her. Now let's talk about how to behave while the divorce process is ongoing. No matter how disgusting the situation may be for you, behave yourself with dignity. And now begin to change to show your wife that you are capable of being a different person. It is very important to do it right now, while you are not yet divorced.

Speaking of divorce. Do not tell your wife that you are against a divorce, that you will not give her a divorce. You will still be divorced even without your consent after a while, but you should not annoy your wife again. Agree with her in this. Say: if you decide to get a divorce, then it will be better that way, you're right about everything. Pretend that you make her decision in full and do not intend to challenge it. And the wife will be perplexed, she will begin to wonder whether she’s doing the right thing, getting divorced, because now she’s losing you forever. And then metamorphosis will begin. If you are persistent and do not succumb to emotions, your wife will not divorce you. But remember that even if the divorce has taken place, you still have big chance return the wife, many men succeeded even after the divorce.

Wife-initiated divorce in lately meets quite often. Opinion polls showed that women evaluate the quality of their marriage lower than men. A wife may demand a divorce for educational purposes, wanting to influence her husband. If the spouse wants to divorce, but does not file for divorce, then this is most likely a method of manipulating her husband, but in some cases, the wife thus shows the last straw of her patience, and makes it clear to the man that he needs to do something or change in your behavior.

Reasons women want to get a divorce

A sociological survey showed the reasons why women require a divorce:

6.5% - lack of readiness for family life;

7% - the presence of another partner in a woman;

8% - husband cheating;

13.5% - use of psychotropic substances or alcoholism;

41% - dissimilarity of characters;

24% - individual reasons (moreover, each of the reasons scored less than 5%).

It turns out that in most cases women want to get a divorce due to differences in character. Where did this reason come from, what to do with it, and how to dissuade my wife from breaking up the family? After all, before this, women had no particular complaints!

Why women file for divorce - a bit of history

Before the revolution, the wife was not profitable to get divorced, since the economy was common and was the only source of income. In tsarist Russia, all questions regarding divorces and marriages were decided by the church.

In 1917, a revolution occurred, and the divorce procedure was simplified, it could be obtained in the registry office. In addition, personal life soviet people was in plain sight, and family disagreements and problems were openly discussed in labor collectives and at meetings. But all the same, divorces were rare, since soviet society they were not encouraged.

The Soviet Union collapsed, and Western values \u200b\u200bbegan to invade the life of Russians more and more, and much has changed in family relations. Now you can’t surprise anyone with a divorce, and every year there are more and more of them.

Of course, it’s good that in our time personal life is not controlled by party committees, trade union committees and other public organizations. But on the other hand, now in almost every family in the first place has moved its own personal "I", both for men and women, and not "We". From here it all started! Just a little something wrong, immediately a divorce. This is especially true for the female half of humanity, as they are more emotional and pay too much attention to trifles.

The Russian government is trying to solve this problem and prevent divorces, because good family - this is the basis of the state.

Today there are more and more successful women who can independently provide for themselves and their child. Should a husband disappoint his wife, and she calmly files for a divorce, because today a woman does successful career and provides itself. Financial independence from the husband, allows the wife not to turn a blind eye to serious flaws spouse and calmly get out family relationshipswho do not bring her moral satisfaction.

Behavioral Causes of Divorce

inability to resolve conflicts, constant scandals and quarrels over trifles;
separate accommodation;
a man refuses to maintain a common household and provide;
treason;
illegal actions;
addiction and alcoholism.

Material reasons for divorce

lack of necessities;
debts of the husband;
housing problem;
disability.

Psychological reasons for divorce

irritation;
stopped loving;
jealousy;
sexual incompatibility;
difference in outlook on life.

How to dissuade a spouse from a divorce?

First of all, it is necessary to find out why the wife filed for divorce or is just going to do it. Analyze your behavior, review the reasons for the divorce and think about how acceptable they are in your case. If you don’t see a clear reason for a divorce, then calmly and frankly talk with your spouse and try to dissuade her. You can also seek help from a family psychologist. He will analyze the situation and give tips that will help save the family and tell you what to do next.

Become different. If you decide to save the marriage and do not want to let go of your wife, then you need to change. Very often women talk about divorce (if not apparent reasons) when they are tired of the daily routine. The wife does not want to feel like a housewife, it is important for her to remain a coveted and beloved woman. In this case, you can dissuade from a divorce, it is enough to remove some responsibilities from the wife at home, or go on vacation. The wife will again feel like a desirable woman, and most likely she will forget about divorce.
Become a man. No one needs a rag man. A married woman wants to feel fragile and weak, hide behind her lover's back from all hardships. Therefore, a weakling or a man-child for a long time will not stand any self-respecting woman. The main thing here is to find the middle - to be independent, but to listen to the opinion of the wife and reckon with him, to be strong, but not callous and rude. Therefore, if the spouse filed for divorce, pull yourself together and try to peacefully and tactfully find out what exactly does not suit her, and only after that, think about how to fix the situation and dissuade the spouse from divorce. You can tell her the following words: “I am a man, trust me, I will take responsibility for our family, trust me, and I will prove to you that I can fix everything ... etc.”
Be more caring and gentle. Women in marriage very often lack tenderness and warmth. That is why many women declare their desire to divorce for no apparent reason. Therefore, if you are not ready to lose your spouse, change, become more affectionate and attentive, remember the time when you were just starting a relationship. Going to the cinema or restaurant, small gifts, compliments and words of gratitude will help you dissuade your wife from divorce.
Start earning.

The wife may not have enough money. And in this case, it is unpleasant for her to watch her husband, who does not want to do anything, does not move up the career ladder, but simply rolls around on the couch. Do not let your woman solve the problem of lack of money, deprive herself of small things or borrow. If you decide that your wife filed for divorce due to a financial reason, then try to find yourself a new, more paid job or go out overtime.

Help for men from the psychological side

If you could not dissuade your wife from a divorce, and she filed an application, but you still have feelings, it is best to turn to a psychologist for help.

Men hide feelings, moreover big role male pride plays. That is why, in a divorce initiated by a woman, a man falls into deep depression, he becomes vulnerable and has many complexes, which has negative psychological consequences.

Problems that a psychologist helps to solve

In a divorce, a man loses important moral values. He loses his beloved woman, he has some restrictions in communicating with his children, he to some extent loses the right to raise his children. Also, a divorced man is faced with everyday problems that used to relate to his wife's duties (cleaning the apartment, cooking, maintaining order in the wardrobe).

When faced with everyday problems, a man begins to realize how many difficult issues a woman solved, gave him care and created a comfortable atmosphere, coziness. Because of this, a divorced man begins to feel loneliness and discomfort.

On the one hand, after the divorce, the man lost responsibility for the whole family, but at the same time, he begins to realize that he is unable to cope even with responsibility for himself.

A bachelor life, of course, has a lot of its advantages, but having walked around plenty, a man realizes that it is better to live in a family than to be completely free. In addition, after a divorce, many men go to extremes - they start to drink a lot, overeat, succumb to the temptation of unprotected sex and other entertainment. Of course, every man has the right to live his life after a divorce the way he wants, but nevertheless, a psychologist will help to avoid some serious mistakes.

Psychologists advise men after a divorce to abandon drunkenness and unprotected sex. Set a goal for yourself, and try to achieve it. Everything is allowed free time to give up work or start to master a sport. First of all, you need to remain a man, and not go to extremes.

It is also necessary to analyze the entire family life, identify your mistakes that led to the divorce, and draw conclusions. You need to start a new serious relationship only when you completely let go of your old life.

Men's rights

The Family Code states that a man has the right to prevent divorce. By law, each spouse has the right to judicial protection of rights.

Personal moral rights of spouses are protected in court. For example, if one of the spouses does not want a divorce. The interests of both parties are protected in court when disputes arise between spouses about the division of property and children. A spouse does not have the right to file for divorce if the wife is pregnant or the child is not yet 1 year old. But at the same time, a pregnant spouse or with a child under 1 year old has the right to file for divorce.

Often we begin to value what we have only when we lose. This rule also applies to relationships. It often happens that a man, on the verge of family breakdown, suddenly realizes that he does not want to divorce his wife. Is it possible to restore close relations between spouses who are estranged from each other?

The reasons that led to the collapse of the marriage

Before answering the question of what to do to save your marriage, you need to analyze the reasons why your wife wants to get a divorce.

Cheating on a husband is often the reason why a woman wants to file for divorce. Not every woman can forgive treason, so think carefully, entering into a fleeting relationship, are you ready to sacrifice a family for her.
The relationship between you is no longer satisfying your spouse. By getting married, we do not stop developing. It’s great if in a union a couple opens up more and more hobbies that unite them, making them closer. However, unfortunately, this is not always the case. When the development of partners is carried out in different ways or if one of them develops and the other does not, sooner or later once close people become strangers to each other. This pushes them to break off old relationships that are no longer satisfying, and forces them to seek new alliances.

How to convince a wife to get a divorce

If the reason for the upcoming divorce is the offense your wife has inflicted on your wife, you can try to forgive her. First of all, wait until the emotions subside. A woman overwhelmed by jealousy and resentment is hardly capable of understanding your arguments and logical arguments. However, do not drag out the conversation, let the woman forgive you. Let your wife know that, besides her, you do not need anyone, that the betrayal was random. However, keep in mind that if your wife once forgave you, this does not mean that this will get away with you later.

It is much more difficult if the reason for the divorce is that you become strangers to each other. Women never make such a decision spontaneously. It bears for months, and sometimes for years. In this case, in such a marriage, a woman is most often held by children. If you want to influence your wife’s decision on divorce, try to build a relationship with her again.

Recognize her interests and tastes, hobbies and views. You will be surprised, because most likely you will see a completely unfamiliar woman in front of you, which you will need to recognize again. Start caring for your spouse, be attentive and helpful. A woman will definitely appreciate your efforts and, most likely, will reciprocate. The main thing is never to rest on our laurels and not to forget that relations between people are not an easy job.

There are situations when nothing can affect the decision of a wife about a divorce. In this case, it is worth considering whether it is necessary to make titanic efforts to preserve a marriage that has ceased to bring joy to both of you.

The article provides only relevant information on what to do in such a difficult situation, as well as answers to the most frequently asked questions about divorce. For your questions, please comment.

Wife filed for divorce how to get her back, save the family and marriage, strategy and advice from psychologists

If you decide to read it, then your wife and family are dear to you. First of all, you need to find out the reason for such a serious step. Most likely something did not suit her. If the reason is clear, then it's time to act. A conversation, the best that can be. Talk, promise to improve, and not only promise, but also prove that you are capable of it.

In the case when you are a real womanizer, and a woman is tired of putting up with it. Ask for forgiveness, promise to love only her, and in any case do not change in the future. In general, if the reason is in you, then it’s even good. The situation can be changed. It is a completely different matter when a woman gets divorced, leaving for another man, there are very few chances to return. Of course, you can try, prove that you are better, she will be more reliable with you, and those relations are just a short romance.

Wife filed for divorce when they call how to behave in court

Be calm. Do not sort things out in court, pour mud on each other. If the point is set in a relationship, disperse calmly. If you want to return her at all costs, then in the courtroom tell her directly, tell her how you love, how much you value and are ready to change for her.

Wife filed for divorce, how can the court transfer the reasons

The cause can only be a disease.

You can file an appeal with the higher authorities, but it will only take time, as a result, they will still be divorced.

Wife filed for divorce how to live on, not give a divorce, and pick up the application

Find the strength to understand the situation. If your wife is determined, take it for granted. Everyone has the right to choose. For some reason, she no longer wants to be married to you. Try to reconcile, women are very subtle natures who forgive. Talk, understand the reason.

If nothing happened and a divorce occurred. Do not go into yourself, communicate, develop. Time heals, the moment will come when it will be much easier for you. No need to quarrel with your wife, look for the guilty, take this situation for granted, and friendships with ex-wife much better than enemy intrigues to each other. Do not give a divorce, you will not succeed as well as pick up the application. Yes, you can stretch your time looking for various reasons to delay the divorce, but in the end you will still be divorced.

Divorce on the initiative of her husband in our time is common. The reasons are different: treason, misunderstanding on the part of the spouse. So if husband filed for divorce what to do to the wife? Does he have a right to this? This is described in this article.

Features of divorce at the request of her husband

According to the Family Code of the Russian Federation, spouses are granted equal rights regarding divorce. A break in relations can be made by mutual agreement or at the request of one of the parties. According to the law, the husband has the right to apply to the registry office without the consent of his wife when she:

recognized legally incapable and there is a supporting paper;
convicted;
gone missing.

In all other cases, if the husband wants to file for divorce, then you need to go to court. However, here his rights are quite limited in that he will not be able to terminate the relationship, in cases:

spouse is in position;
there is a baby under the age of 1 year.

Necessary conditions and grounds

The procedure for termination of marriage through registration authorities is simple and optimal in terms of time, but when there are disagreements in relations, it is better to turn to the judicial authorities.

If husband filedand the spouse does not want to be in court, she has the right:

He will not appear at the hearing three times. The judge will make a decision in absentia. A divorce order will be sent to the respondent.
Write a statement in which you need to indicate that the plaintiff's claims are considered without the presence of the defendant.
Send your representative to the court, which can legally defend legitimate interests.

What to do if the husband filed for divorce, and the wife against

Regardless of whether the wife agrees to divorce or not, the husband has the right to go to court with statement of claim. There are times when a woman expresses her disagreement with a divorce by failing to appear in court. She assumes that the judge in this case will decide not in favor of the plaintiff. This is not true. Avoiding or refusing to attend meetings is a drag on process. Therefore, if the spouse found out that husband sues for divorce, and she has good reasons for maintaining relations, it should be mandatory for the judge to set a date for reconciliation.

The Family Code of the Russian Federation does not indicate specific grounds on which spouses who have not reached a common decision can be divorced. The judge takes into account the reasons for not being able to save the marriage. And if the decision is not made in favor of the defendant, he has the right to challenge it.

Thus, divorce in itself does not cause much difficulty. A much more complicated situation is when the husband filed for divorce,and the wife is trying to maintain a relationship.

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