Subtle trolling: why do men joke about women? What does a sense of humor depend on? Why do men joke about women?
If this article attracted your attention, we can assume that you are dissatisfied with something and intend to get rid of the feeling that bites you. How to become happy? Let's stop being deceived, let's say honestly for once, taking off the fashionable rose-colored glasses - it is impossible to become happy.
We recommend that you put aside your backpack as a traveler who goes in search of happiness. How so? Why reassure us? Truly, dear reader, this is not pessimism of the author of the article, but logically justified...
Man is a vibrantly colored energy system, full of dynamic aspirations. Like any energy system, it is constantly trying to find a state of rest. He is forced to do this. This is what energy serves for, its mysterious function is to restore its own balance.
Man is designed in such a way that with any internal or external irritation, sooner or later an incident must occur that will restore balance.
Out of balance...
Man is a strange creature... Reason was given to him only to make it easier for man to fulfill his destiny. What else is it for? Can Providence have another task other than this one - to help a person on his Path?
But how does a person use his mind?..
He asks: what is the Path? What is Providence? why should I follow it? how long does it take to walk along it? and what I get for this? what is the goal? how do you know if this is the right way? how could I...
New century, new time, new opportunities. But how to define a new path? Of course, you should honestly look around, soberly assess reality, and even better, really look yourself in the eye. Find yourself in all your glory and react to it somehow.
Here I am, a man of the 21st century. I am such and such. I am active and passive, deceitful and truthful, brave and cowardly, moral and depraved, irritable and restrained...
You will certainly find your portrait here. And you say...
“They are called the “life of the party.” They are always the center of attention, they are in high spirits, regardless of the time of day or calendar date. And it seems that nothing can pacify this flow of anecdotes and witticisms. Sometimes it seems as if they were really born for clownery and eccentricity.
“But in fact, endless jokes often hide deep feelings and inner discomfort of a seemingly always cheerful person,” explains psychotherapist and psychiatrist Elena Vrono.
Svetlana, 35 years old...
Previously, everything was fine - I grew up in a prosperous family, there were rare emotional shocks, and I did not experience psychological pressure from others.
But then something incredible began to happen to my psyche. Thoughts suddenly began to appear that made it scary, to put it mildly! Then unpleasant memories began to emerge, and then, in addition to all this, I began to invent some terrible situations and accept them as real.
And recently I began to think that I was capable of doing some terrible things...
Hello! Please help me, I’ve been afraid of everything since childhood, I’m afraid to stay at home alone, I can’t sleep at night, I’m afraid of flying on airplanes, I mostly have dreams that they want to kill me, but I’m running away. 5 years ago my mother died. When I was 9 years old, I was hit by a car and my vertebrae were displaced. But the fears began around the age of 5. There was always a feeling of some kind of worry inside, because of my mother. Because of my dad (he likes to go on a drinking binge), I have the feeling that because of these experiences I have no strength for anything else.
I don't want either...
Hello! My name is Alexander, I'm 22 years old. I am constantly tormented by fear for my health, in particular, for my heart! I was examined, the doctors found nothing... They diagnosed VSD and sent me home.
They prescribed me to take gidazepam, intravenous sodium bromine and magnesium 6... It went away for a while, but recently all the symptoms returned again.... The worst thing is the fear for my heart! How to get rid of this phobia???
Many friends are great masters of sarcasm. But a sparkling sense of humor is not always accompanied by the appropriate level of tact and sensitivity to understand when your jokes are offensive. On the other hand, the “victim” of such jokes also needs a sufficient level of sensitivity to recognize the purpose for which a friend is showing sarcasm. Someone might be sarcastic out of boredom or if the “friend” doesn't really like you that much. There are times when sarcasm is used to push away, and sometimes it is used to gain attention, such as when a friend is about to tell you a personal joke that only concerns the two of you.
Be that as it may, even if you like to be sarcastic from time to time, constantly communicating with a prickly friend can be difficult. Of course, biting witticisms are funny when it comes to other people. If a friend is being sarcastic towards you, you may become so offended that you even begin to consider ending the relationship. Understanding the reasons why a person is sarcastic can help determine the right ways to deal with related relationship problems.
So let's look at some of the main reasons why your friend is being sarcastic towards you.
1. Your friend gets bored with the conversation and becomes sarcastic to interrupt you.
Everything would be very simple if friends could just say to each other “You’re repeating yourself,” “Stop interrupting me,” and “I can’t get a word in.” But sometimes a friend who is tired of the conversation begins to behave maliciously.
At first, you may not understand why, but in such a situation, friends switch to a sarcastic tone in their conversation. Thus, in such a situation, you will go around in circles, continuing the dialogue in the same manner, continuing to provoke a sarcastic attitude towards you in the other.
If you understand that your friend is being sarcastic, try saying, “I don’t understand what sarcasm can be about here. Okay, let’s talk about something else...” And you yourself start a new conversation. Based on the reaction of your interlocutor, it will be clear whether this is the reason or not. If he really wanted to talk about something else, he will support your desire to change the subject.
2. You offended your friend in some way, and he switches to sarcasm to seem stronger
Sarcasm is sometimes used as a means of defense. If someone is deeply hurt and doesn't want to admit it for fear of appearing weak or too emotional, they may use sarcastic language in order to maintain their image in the eyes of their interlocutor. People try to appear strong in situations in which they are not strong.
In this case, try to look behind the sarcastic shell and hear what they are actually trying to convey to you. It is easy to discern the true image of a person who covers up offensive words with sarcasm. You can try saying, “You're being sarcastic right now, but I realized that I offended you. I'm sorry this happened."
3. You are his friend, so it’s possible with you
The people most likely to be sarcastic are your friends and acquaintances. When people try to get to know each other better, they usually engage in direct dialogue so as not to be misunderstood. Sarcasm, in turn, usually occurs between people who are close enough to understand each other's jokes (even if they are not jokes), and with acquaintances who are not to their liking.
If a person you know indulges in sarcasm, be attentive to the details of your acquaintance. Some people seem friendly but indifferent, and this provokes us to try to appear as strong as possible in order to earn their friendship. First, ask a question like “Are you being too sarcastic? Are there any problems? A question like this can make a person aware of his behavior and the need to return to politeness, even if he does not want to be a friend.
4. Your friend is just joking... sort of.
Sarcasm can be funny, but the acrimony that follows usually goes beyond the scope of jokes.
Have you ever remarked to a friend about his sarcasm and received in response, “You are too sensitive! I'm just kidding! Snide people like to pass off their attacks as a joke and don't like to deal with counter-challenges, preferring to use your low self-esteem to shrug off responsibility for their words. It may be obvious to you that a friend is being sarcastic, but for these people it's important to hit home in a way that you don't even realize it. When you ask for an explanation, they try to turn the situation against you, and they succeed - after all, they have already managed to shed responsibility for their behavior. And you don't understand jokes...
If a friend is just joking, you shouldn’t be offended, but you definitely shouldn’t remain silent.. You can say, “Even though you’re joking, know that you’re also offending me at the same time. I don't like it." If after such words your interlocutor tries to re-pass everything off as a joke, don’t just let it get away with it. By doing this, you will make it clear that it is normal to treat you this way, and that the sacrificial position suits you.
5. A friend has garbage in his head and an inability to put himself in someone else’s shoes.
Some people find it very difficult to build relationships due to the circumstances that arise while growing up. Perhaps they lacked love and attention as children, which left a constant feeling of resentment in their relationships with people. Feelings of sincere friendship and care may seem alien to such people, which is why even a kind attitude may be perceived inadequately.
Such people are difficult to interact with, but the more you overcome their caustic attacks, the more you discover that the Golden Rule is a sign of strength, not weakness. Thus, the best option is not to allow negative attacks to knock you out of orbit, but at the same time, do not ignore, but draw the attention of your interlocutor to the problems. Who knows, maybe you can just help him deal with his own cockroaches if you can stand up for yourself. Everyone will benefit.
Stupid jokes and anecdotes of black humor, scary stories - today the Internet is simply overwhelmed with all this “good”. Some of this is really funny. However, it often happens that the jokes in which we look for humor have the exact opposite effect on us - they repel, depress and even insult. Surprisingly, there are people who still find them funny. Why does this happen? Obviously, in order to understand the answer, it is necessary to understand the nature of humor, its purpose, as well as the relationship with morality and ethics accepted in society as the norm.
What is humor? How does it arise?
Why do some people make rude and unpleasant jokes? Are their jokes stupid and their jokes vulgar?
Why are there always people who are amused by stupid humor and black jokes?
How can you easily see the psychology of a person, both the storyteller and the listener, through humor?
Any of us knows that humor comes in different forms. It can be very funny when you want to laugh and can’t stop. It also happens not so well when someone says vulgarity or rudeness.
It is obvious that humor, its mood and construction, are associated not only with the creator of this very humor, but also with our own perception and feeling of it. That is why humor is so diverse in all its manifestations - because as many people there are, so many topics that can be laughed at. And formats - how to do it.
To understand the diversity of humor, it is best to start from human psychology; then all types of humor, even the most repulsive and terrible, can be easily understood and explained. The easiest way to do this is with the help of system-vector psychology Yuri Burlan, who for the first time defines human psychotypes through a system of eight vectors.
What is humor for?
Initially, humor has a very important and necessary purpose for human society. With the help of sincere laughter, tension is relieved, relaxation occurs, and we begin to feel less hostility, hatred, anger, and resentment. Having laughed from the heart, it becomes easier for us to live and complacency appears. This is where all these practices and trainings come from, which invite people to laugh more in order to prolong life and improve health. However, their creators completely forgot the popular wisdom: “laughter for no reason is a sign of a fool.” And indeed, just laughter, like muscle contraction and the sound of laughter, do not matter - the main semantic content is what makes us smile.
Those with the oral vector are always considered the life of the party, everyone loves them - they are cheerful, always in high spirits, they constantly chat and joke around. But in fact, the reason we love them is that they can very accurately and easily tell a joke that makes us see the funny in even the worst. Zhvanetsky and Khazanov belong to this type of people - they do not invent humor on purpose, they simply think in such forms and pass them on to society in order to relieve tension.
Why is humor funny and not funny?
But oral humor has always, since ancient times, always been based on vulgarity: because the only thing that is truly funny in this world is the sexual or what is ridiculed through the sexual. We often call this kind of humor black because it concerns what causes tension in us. For example, an oral speaker will joke about death and funerals, about war and disasters in order to relieve the feeling of tragedy and relieve stress through laughter. Please note - this kind of humor is actually very funny for most people.
However, there are exceptions; these are two categories of people - owners of visual and sound vectors in certain states. It is very difficult for a depressed sound person to hear a swear word; for him it is an expression of special hatred. A developed visual person will never laugh at primitive humor; they need a very subtle joke to simply smile. Sound performers and spectators often shun the oral jester, and his jokes are called stupid and his anecdotes not funny.
At the same time, the audience and sound engineers themselves can create decent humor - this is light banter, subtle snobbery, intellectual jokes. There is no vulgarity in such humor and it attracts its audience - after all, if oral humor attracts everyone in the world, even with its vulgarity, then this humor will be interesting only to a limited audience.
Vulgar and stupid jokes that cause disgust
As mentioned above, very often the jokes of an oral person are perceived negatively by auditory and visual people. For a sound engineer, humor makes it difficult to concentrate. For the viewer, laughter about nothing relieves sensory tension and becomes emotionally drained. Therefore, it is absolutely natural to be repulsed by such humor and simply not listen to it.
But there is humor that is repulsive to everyone except very narrow categories of people. The brightest of them are people with an anal vector in a state of frustration. The humor of such people is always black - dirty, built on the toilet and all the disgusting details of it. Their humor is intended to defame, humiliate, and smear them dirty. It is of no interest to anyone except people in the same conditions, who in their communities on the Internet multiply similar dark jokes that would make the hair on end of any healthy person stand on end.
Another type of people who create unpleasant and repulsive black and stupid humor are sound people in certain states. Such people take pleasure in shared suffering. They smile when they see death, accidents, disasters. Just as in the case of anal frustrations, such humor is just as disgusting for everyone except those who are miserable like themselves.
Due to the fact that the oral word is a verbal tool for laughter, it is practically non-existent on the Internet. After all, the stupid humor, scary and dark jokes here belong to the pen of the sound artists and spectators, often with an anal vector. That is why there is such a large share of negativity and dirt on the Internet. Moreover, doing this anonymously is as easy as shelling pears, because no punishment, at least in the form of public censure, will follow.
9 chosen
There are different jokes. Some joke harmlessly, lifting everyone’s spirits, so to speak, without sacrifice. Others ironically make fun of others, without seriously offending anyone, although an unpleasant aftertaste may remain. And still others make extremely sarcastic jokes, and the object of such humor is definitely not amused. Let's figure it out why we choose certain types of humor, and what laughter is really good for health.
Type of humor by type of person
Psychologist Maria Pugacheva explained how a person’s humor reflects his state of mind.
- There are usually two groups of people making harmless jokes. One of them - self-confident people who love life and people in all its forms. These are active, cheerful and optimistic people, full of energy, with a bright temperament and charisma. The second group of people is quiet, modest and shy individuals with high intelligence and a kind soul. But they have one thing in common - they almost never envy, have a positive attitude towards everything around them and respect other people's problems and other people's success.
- Those who ironically tease their interlocutor are also endowed with good intelligence, but have behind them certain small complexes of their own that make him not a 100% self-confident person. Most likely, he was teased in the same way in childhood or youth, or maybe he knows some of his shortcomings and weak points and understands that sooner or later someone will get under his skin.
- Unpleasant sarcasm is used by those who are very unsure of themselves and are trying with all their might to prove the opposite to the world. God forbid they strike him, so he himself strives in every way "beat" all his potential rivals with a barrage of harsh humor.
You simply have no sense of humor!
Since childhood, we have been told this when we were offended by someone's jokes. And indeed, Maybe it's not about them, but about us? This can be checked.
Firstly, think about whether you are capable of self-irony: Can you laugh at yourself if you find yourself in some ridiculous or difficult situation? Can you laugh and tell your friends about a stupid thing you did, and not be offended when your friends laugh at your story? If self-irony is not alien to you, most likely, excessive touchiness is not your trait.
Secondly, Observe people's reactions to jokes directed at them and try to try on the situation for yourself. Would you be offended? Or would they have turned a deaf ear? Or did you laugh it off? Such a comparative analysis will allow you to understand how often you are offended by something that does not offend others.
If you notice that you really get offended by humor too often, it’s worth correcting this trait in yourself. Practice shows: most often in a company they tease those who are offended.If you don't want to be a target, stop being offended.
And if after this study you come to the conclusion that your sense of humor is fine and you do not suffer from excessive touchiness, then it’s not about you, but about the truly aggressive humor of your interlocutor.
An eye for an eye, humor for humor
If the annoying comedian is just one of your friends, there is no need to fight them; you can simply stop communicating and not waste your nerves on his jokes.
What to do if such a joker is a person close to you? Well, don’t part with him because of jokes, really! Is it possible to wean him off evil humor?
According to the psychologist, peaceful methods, unfortunately, cannot be achieved here. “The only way to stop someone from mocking you sarcastically is to hit you with the same end in the same place. Here, alas, kindness and understanding cannot save the situation. The better and more correct you are, the greater the strength and power this person will feel over you person. But if he knows that any attack he makes will be followed by a similar attack and he himself will become a wounded target, then he will definitely not attack again,”– Maria Pugacheva is sure.
What kind of humor prolongs life?
We are used to thinking that Laughter prolongs life and generally has a positive effect on the body. But I wonder if this relates to sarcasm? Remember how it was in the movie The same Munchausen: “To him who laughs, he prolongs, and to him who jokes, he shortens.”
According to the psychologist, if a person is sarcastic to everyone around him, this cannot have any positive effect on health. " But if sarcasm does not apply to anyone in particular and it does not offend a loved one, but, for example, the political situation in a company of friends is harshly ridiculed, then the general energy of laughter and smiles, of course, will play its healing role,”– Maria Pugacheva is sure.
So sarcasm, like humor in general, comes in different forms.
What kind of humor is more characteristic of you? Have you ever encountered people who offended you with their jokes? What did you do in this situation?
Subtle trolling: why do men joke about women? What is the main idea and essence of the jokes, how does male logic work at such moments?
I saw a post on social networks: a beautiful girl writes that she doesn’t believe in friendship with men and will never have sex “as friends” with them. Then she laments that, as they say, there is no friendship with women either, and who should she, the poor thing, be friends with then? Well, go ahead and write in the comments that, they say, you can try to be friends with your head. I was joking, in general... And I thought, why did I write this?
Why do men make jokes about women?
I remembered the phrase that jokes are often hidden fear and hidden aggression. Such cowardly aggression. At first I really didn’t like this phrase. However, as I realized much later, this was exactly what happened in my case. Fear, envy and anger.
Remember the very beginning of The Snow Queen? About the ugly evil Troll, who made a crooked mirror, where “everything good and beautiful shrank further, and everything bad and ugly stuck out and became even nastier.” Then Troll's students wanted to raise this mirror to the very sky, it fell and scattered into billions of fragments. The fragments got into people's eyes and hearts, and now these people saw everything in a bad light, and their hearts became colder than ice...
For as long as I can remember, I was constantly “burning” and thought it was very cool. I had two for every word, I joked almost all the time, without days off or lunch breaks. "Ugaga 24/7." It was especially hard on my wife, whom I teased endlessly. She was in pain, she said: “Nikitushka, why are you doing this, don’t…”. I answered: “What’s wrong? It’s funny, it’s just a joke, nothing personal... Ha ha ha.”
And it was aggression. By humiliating her, I asserted myself at her expense. It’s easier to seem taller when you’re putting someone else down. Especially if the wife is good. Next to someone like this, you can either grow on your own or... tease him. The same with friends, comrades, relatives. I didn’t know how to clarify the relationship honestly and directly, to talk about my feelings, about what I didn’t like, I couldn’t, I was afraid.
So he made a joke. Meanly, on sore spots. And he himself believed that this was just a “joke of humor.” But in fact, he laughed at his fears and problems, took revenge on people and life in such a sophisticated way.
True, I was not joking with those who could respond or otherwise fight back. It turns out that he intuitively understood that it was dangerous here.
And the first of April is generally a black day on the calendar. The real “Day of Evil.”
Have you ever seen a "good April Fool's joke"? Well, so that the person will be pleased later? For example, money was wrapped in a roll of toilet paper, a man went to the toilet, began to unwind the roll - and the bill fell out, and no one confessed. I've never seen anything like this.
But one time I received a message from a girl that in a community whose goal is to support each other, they decided to help my family and chip in for an inexpensive car. I didn't keep track of the fact that it's the first of April. I cried with joy and gratitude. Literally. At that time I had two sick (one with a disability) small children. But there was no car. I cried. I told my wife. And I received congratulations on April 1st.
Another case: a person close to me sent a message that my phone account had been replenished with a large amount. My phone was turned off then: I had no money. This also turned out to be a “joke”. I cried again. It was very painful.
In general, for the last 10 years I have been trying not to joke with people. True, witticisms are still born in my head, but I don’t voice them. Sometimes it really is better to remain silent than to speak. As a last resort, if you can’t bear it, you can go to specially designated places where some people “burn”, while others enjoy it and pay money. "Comedy Club" is the same. Everything is fair there, no offense.
So why did I write to the girl about friendship? No way. Just a joke. Nothing personal, it's funny...
And to be honest, yes, it was aggression.
First of all, I was jealous. She has more subscribers and likes than me, although, in my opinion, she writes all sorts of nonsense.
Secondly, I got angry. The girl in the photo is beautiful and sexy. And out of male solidarity, I was immediately offended for the entire stronger sex. So, I think, like sex “for friendship” - no, no, we’re not friends with boys. And how to get a ride to the airport, assemble a wardrobe from Ikea - so here we are friends “do not spill water”!
Thirdly, I was offended that she seemed to personally show me: You are friends with beautiful girls just for sex. But this is not so! Or rather, not quite so, there is some truth in this assumption. We’re not talking about sex, of course (I’m married and love my wife), but I really like being “friends” with beautiful, kind and rich women more, and I respond to their call for help much more joyfully and readily than to requests from those ladies who do not have beauty, kindness and money, but really need my help.
It is clear that all my thoughts have nothing to do with this particular girl, maybe she had a post about something else. And all these feelings and internal squabbles are my projections, and in this case I was communicating not with a girl, but with my own sick head.
Is there such a thing as “ecological” humor? In my opinion, yes, it happens. This is when you joke with love, and your jokes don’t hurt the other person. Or the object of humor is myself (but in this case you shouldn’t forget about love). And if you joke, “but you don’t have love,” this is not humor, but fragments of the Troll’s distorting mirror.
