Quarrel with a loved one. How to make up after a quarrel? How to make up with your wife - advice for men
So the time has come for the last chapter of the first section ... That very last chapter, in which we announced the creation of a universal algorithm for optimal reconciliation after love and family quarrels.
... I will say right away: having analyzed the statements of men and women when they told me how their partners with whom they had quarreled should behave during reconciliation, I clearly saw:
Don't you hate that awkward tension after an argument? You know, the one that people don't really talk about? You are no longer annoyed, but there is only this awkward silence and you cannot fully return to normal life. You wonder if your partner is still annoyed, or if they, too, hesitate in the uncertainty between argument and normalcy. Neither partner wants to be the first to move, talk, or make eye contact. And the partner's true intentions are unclear.
The argument is over, so why is it so hard to move on? By imagining this strange state of post-argument awkwardness, we expand negativity when we can enjoy our relationship the way we should be! The arguments are bad enough as they are without expanding it by a couple of hours of awkward silence. We need to learn to solve and jump to arguments quickly and effectively so that we don't waste time on uselessness with confusion, ego, or frustration.
Except for all sorts of small nuances, representations
women and men about the perfect reconciliation after love
and family quarrels generally coincide.
And it is precisely this fact that is intended to explain that the special creation of a separate Register of men's and a separate Register of women's expectations is clearly superfluous. Now to the point.
Try these 8 tips that will allow you and your partner to heal and quickly come back from an argument, so you both can enjoy each other's company again! # 1 Avoid arguing in the first place. So is it worth arguing in the first place? Don't let verbal aggression be your first instinct when disagreements arise.
Take a deep breath and control your character. Hear what the other person has to say without interrupting. Think about your opinion and don't overreact. Even if you are the only one handling the situation this way, your partner is likely to follow your leader soon.
Registry of Expectations
with love and family quarrels and reconciliation
Studying the moods and psychological attitudes "for reconciliation" among the quarreling men and women, the author identified ten of the most common wishes and expectations:
Waiting number 1.
In the period between quarrel and reconciliation, as well as during reconciliation, the partner will behave correctly!
Reconciliation will happen quickly!
# 2 Let go and don't be offended. Tensions often arise after an argument because we do not allow ourselves to resolve the disagreement. Remember that neither argument nor grievance is worth your time. You may decide to choose positive thinking. Even if something annoyed or frustrated you, or if the argument was not fully resolved, let it go. It was never as important as you might think at the time. In the grand scheme of things, your happiness and the health of your relationship are far more important. And they will thrive if you don't let every negative experience get to you and cling to you.
This implies that reconciliation will not occur after a loved one climbs onto the balcony at night and threatens to commit suicide if you do not immediately hug him. Or that the beloved will definitely not come to work (to the dean's office) and in an ultimatum form will not demand the immediate dismissal (deduction) of someone who has not called her for three whole days. Well, in general, the meaning of the word is correct, you understand!
# 3 Don't re-parse the argument. After an argument, we often feel the need to justify our reactions and consider the root of the argument. Addressing the causes of disagreement and resolving misunderstandings is useful to a certain extent. But on the other hand, it will not allow you to move on and return to normal life.
Moreover, it runs the risk of renewing the argument. So be careful and keep it to a minimum. Accept that arguments and misunderstandings happen, and if it doesn't need to be discussed further, then don't! Cast out the awkward silence and focus on getting back to normal as quickly as possible, and that should be your top priority.
Waiting number 2.
Reconciliation will happen quickly!
There is not even anything to talk about! We talked about this throughout the whole section. I see no point in repeating myself.
Waiting number 3.
The partner must himself take the initiative towards reconciliation!
Well, of course! Who likes to call first himself ...
Waiting number 4.
# 4 Do a physical show of love. Sometimes we sit silently after an argument because we just had enough words. Don't forget the old adage: Actions speak louder than words. Show your partner that everyone has forgotten by showing a gesture of affection.
Even if one of you is still clenching your teeth, injecting intimacy will instantly break the tension and allow you to heal after the argument. Intimacy allows you to express your love, and then everything is forgotten. # 5 Sorry and admit where you were wrong.
We all say things that we regret in the midst of moments, and controversy often arises because we have completely misunderstood the intent of another person's actions or words. Moreover, it is very unusual that only one person is wrong. In fact, an argument is usually a combination of both of your mistakes or misunderstandings!
Everything will be just my way!
In this expectation, two things are laid at once:
First, so that the process of reconciliation itself takes place at the time and according to the scenario that your partner (s) has drawn in his head;
Secondly, so that the initiator of reconciliation should come just by capitulating, fully or at least partially recognizing the rightness of the other side!
How to make up with your wife - advice for men
He will often initiate another person to do the same. You can save face and avoid damaging your ego, but by enlarging and apologizing, it will provide a closure to the argument and allow both of you to move on. # 6 Break awkward silence with positive conversation.
Don't let the post-argument clumsy silence go on longer than necessary. The longer it goes on, the more difficult it is to break out of it. The best thing you can do is take a deep breath and pretend nothing happened. Please select positive topic talk or talk. This may sound a little false and awkward to start with for the first few minutes, but it's better than awkward silence! You will be surprised how quickly your conversation will return to normal.
This is how, it turns out, we love ourselves ...
Waiting number 5.
The conflict topic will be closed immediately after reconciliation!
Everything is clear: you should never fan the coals of the dying fire of a quarrel! Otherwise, the fire will light up again ...
Waiting number 6.
Reconciliation should be very well remembered and carry very positive emotions!
Everything will be just my way!
# 7 Try a change of scenery. It's easy to stay firm in the same physical position as you were when you were arguing. Nobody wants to be the first to move on to a normal life. Bite the bullet and suggest a landscape change. Maybe go for coffee or dinner. Often change environment especially in a more social environment like a cafe or restaurant will immediately change the atmosphere between you.
When there is tension after a fight, it is difficult to tell if the other person is feeling as uncomfortable as you are, or if they are still annoyed. And they are probably wondering the same thing! Let them know that you are not annoying, and most importantly, let your partner know how much you hate the tension and silence after a fight. More often than not, they will feel like you are feeling the same way. Once you both admit that the fight is over, you can decide how to move on.
In general, you must put up with as much emotionally as possible: screaming, screaming, crying, sobbing, punching your chest and pulling out the last hair.
Waiting number 7.
The partner must explain why he (a) acted this way and not otherwise.
Simply put, the initiator of reconciliation is obliged to flatter the pride of his partner and tell him (her) that it was in the quiet of loneliness that he (a) finally realized what a wonderful person the old pimp Cupid had brought him to!
The most important thing here is to always remember the consequences of battles. Remind yourself how raw you usually feel after a battle and the tension that is likely to follow before the argument begins. This is often enough to force you to take steps to prevent the argument before both of you get carried away, or at least it will prompt you to quickly resolve the disagreement and move on without a period of post-argumentation.
Happiness should always take priority in your relationship, so don't waste your time dragging and dropping an argument longer than necessary. So the next time you see red when you are talking to your partner, just remember these 8 ways to avoid silence and uncomfortable tension after an argument. Over time, subconsciously, the battles will decrease.
Waiting number 8.
At the moment of reconciliation, the partner must admit that as one (one) he (s) really missed you and suffered!
From the point of view of the majority of respondents, the best guarantee against new quarrels is the incredible moral suffering of partners from loneliness! That is why, at the moment of reconciliation, partners want to see each other's mental and physical (preferably, even erotic) torments!
So you got into a fight with your boyfriend, now what? Fights like this tend to happen in relationships, but the question is, what do you do now? Who will come forward and break the ice? Who will talk to another person who first apologizes after a fight?
If you take our advice, you might just forget to sit down and wonder why the battle actually took place and who exactly is responsible. In any battle, the people involved are equally responsible. Therefore, both of you should blame you for this. The question is now; who will ask for forgiveness or break the silence?
Waiting number 9.
At the moment of reconciliation, the partner is obliged to see that you were also very bad without him (her)!
Since at the moment of reconciliation we always look intensely into the face of our partner and wish to see his (her) sincerity and feelings, at the same moment we really want the partner to also see that his efforts and sufferings are not in vain! In fact, they love him too!
In most cases, guys tend to be more impatient than girls. Therefore, your boyfriend should give a sign to break the silence for a few days after the fight. He can send a “Hello” or “I'm sorry” message. Act immediately and don't let this opportunity pass.
Your boyfriend took responsibility for ensuring that both of you were equally responsible. Let go of bad feelings and respond back. Say something like “I'm sorry too” or “it's not your fault” or even better, let's make sure it doesn't happen again.
Of course, maybe not as much as he (a) us, but still ...
Waiting number 10.
A partner will eliminate all the reasons for your jealousy!
This is a very important position. At the moment of reconciliation, we all really want to know and believe that during the entire time of the forced pause in the relationship, our beloved person (Moreover, everyone has their own! There is no need to look at other people's loved ones! or a friend.
Answer the first opportunity
As mentioned, guys are impatient. They just can't wait to break the silence and meet you again. But rest assured that you will not test their patience. When they send the first message asking for an apology, accept it and respond. No matter how you feel, it's important that you accept your boyfriend's apology.
This is because, believe it or not, you are responsible for the fight as it is. So what's wrong with accepting his apology and calculating for the better? If you answer him at this point, the relationship will return just as much as before. Even stronger. You see guys as women who walk easily and who can be happy with less effort. They don't like high service types.
Yes, okay, you are embarrassed! This is what everyone wants! You are not alone!
Having listed ten main expectations after love and family quarrels, universal for both men and women, it's time to talk about the nuances identified. There are only two of them. One for women, the second for men.
Two nuances in the expectations of women and men
Nuance number 1.
(Additional expectation of girls and women).
Therefore, in order to maintain a relationship, you have to make compromises. Let go of the ego and act to make the job work. If you really love your boyfriend, then you shouldn't allow any opportunity to punch the doorway. This is no matter how badly your friend behaved towards you. We are all human, and things like that happen.
What if your boyfriend isn't coming back for a long time?
If your boyfriend hasn't come back to you for a long time, say more than a week, it's time to act. You must make the first move this time too. Chances are, the male ego gets hurt so badly that it can never come back to you while you do. So, in this case, if you really love your boyfriend and want to get the relationship back on track, take action. First, send your friend a message.
I really want men not to come to put up with empty hands!
Sorry that we are talking about this directly, in the open ...
Nuance number 2.
(Additional expectation of men).
The partner must pretend that she has made some important conclusions for herself and will definitely make some adjustments in her behavior!
Don't wait too long to come back from the fight
It's important that you don't wait too long until you get back with your boyfriend. Fights happen in every way, but they also strengthen relationships. So take that as a positive sign and start together again. If you take too long, you could end up losing the relationship.
Make a pleasant surprise
So now you know what to do after your fight with your boyfriend. Go ahead and work to make everything work for the better. How to maintain a relationship with a loved one who has offended you. Sometimes it’s clear and simple that it’s time to leave, even if it’s a relationship with a family member. But if you choose not for any reason, if you feel like it's worth fighting for, these ideas can help you stay and stay happy - in the relationship as it is.
Such are we, men! Dear ladies, please accept us as we are!
Now you know everything. Well, or almost everything!
Now we will not drag out the time and the cat by the tail (the section ends!) And will immediately move on to those of our practical recommendations, which will take into account all these female and male expectations.
Perhaps this is completely unnecessary and you yourself have already understood everything, nevertheless, I draw your attention to the following circumstance: all ten tips on how to put up properly after love or family quarrels are written on the basis of ten points of the Register of Expectations and relate quite accurately to each other.
First advice. Avoid the "mistakes of reconciliation"!
Some lovers, having admitted the quarrel itself and the occurrence of a short-term break in relations, make additional mistakes in the form of attempts to reconcile in such a way that annoys his (her) partner even more. And these partners themselves, reacting to someone's awkward attempts to reconcile, at the same time make at least stupid things, "Show character" and in every possible way evade the renewal of those contacts that are necessary for the implementation of reconciliation.
So that the dear reader does not repeat these mistakes, we will list them.
The ten most common "mistakes of reconciliation"
Having quarreled with your loved one absolutely not:
Call or come with the aim of reconciliation, being drunk (especially to such a degree of alcoholic intoxication, when people in the morning do not remember that they have already made up and are trying to do it again, as if "for an encore!");
Call with the aim of "having a thorough heart-to-heart talk and putting everything in its place" late in the evening or late at night;
Refuse to pick up the phone (as well as pick up and then hang up) when your partner is trying to get through. As polls show, a partner at this moment may think that at this time you are already having sex with someone, are dead drunk (etc.) and therefore simply cannot answer! Of course, all this does not cause much joy in him (her);
Do not reply to neutral or conciliatory text messages from your partner. In this case, a very proud partner can be so offended that even the smallest quarrel on duty can drag on for a good two weeks;
Send SMS with a laconic request: "Dial me!" The partner may be afraid that by calling first, he (a) as if puts himself in the position of "knowingly loser (s)" and therefore in the end will not call you. And the absence of a call from a partner, in turn, will cause a surge of negative emotions from your side. So an awkward attempt to reconcile with a boomerang will hit your own mood;
After dialing your partner (or picking up the phone), start the conversation with the phrase: “Well, I hope you finally realized your mistakes and already want to apologize ?!”. As a rule, such a formulation of the question causes a frenzied rage and the person who picked up the phone (or called you himself), as a result, not only will not say a word of reconciliation, but, on the contrary, will compose something especially juicy and multi-storey for you in response;
Call and start your supposedly "conciliatory" conversation with the phrase: "You are certainly a bastard (an insensitive brute, an ungrateful animal, a traitor, etc.), but I love you and propose to forget about the disagreement that happened ...". Such a beginning is extremely rarely very fruitful;
For hours knocking or ringing the doorbell of your partner with a categorical demand to immediately open and "figure everything out." Such behavior rarely improves the mood of the one with whom you came to reconcile;
Threatening that if your partner does not take the initiative to reconcile within a certain number of days, you will immediately acquire a completely different loved one;
Seek help from your loved one's parents, close friends (girlfriends), employers, or teachers. Usually this is perceived by him (her) as a way to exert pressure (and this is absolutely true!) And only exacerbates the situation.
If the dear reader categorically refrains from using the above "methods of reconciliation", he will not only be completely right, but will already take the very first step towards subsequent reconciliation. Moreover, the step is quite significant.
Second advice. Make peace within a day - a maximum of three, from the moment of the quarrel!
It's no longer worth talking about it! I will only remind those dear readers that they have not yet read this and the previous sections of the book that:
If you are a man, it is advisable for you to make peace with your girlfriend either on the very day of the quarrel, or in the morning of the next day, or within three more days;
If you are a lady, it is advisable for you to make peace with your friend either the next day after the quarrel, or again within three days.
It is also possible to put up after three days, but it is very likely that someone from your couple will have that unpleasant aftertaste in their souls, which in the future will itself cause new quarrels.
So, I advise you not to experiment on your personal happiness!
Third advice. Take the initiative towards reconciliation!
Again, I do not see the need for special dissemination on this matter. In the third section of the book, two chapters are devoted to this question at once: Chapter 10 "Men and Women: Who Should Take the First Step Towards Reconciliation?" and chapter 11, "Feel free to take the first step towards reconciliation with your loved one!" Just re-read them and everything will become clear to you.
Fourth advice. Know exactly what your partner expects from you!
Here you can find out a little more details. Let me remind you that this tip was written in accordance with Expectation # 4, which included two things at once:
Firstly, in order for the process of reconciliation itself to take place within the time frame and according to the scenario that your partner (s) has drawn in his head;
Secondly, it is essential that you, as the initiator of reconciliation, surrender not just like that, but fully or at least partially admitting that the other side is right!
Based on this, you should:
Know exactly when your partner prefers you to give up. In practice, different people there may be completely different terms: some like to be reconciled with them literally five minutes after the quarrel, while others are fundamentally convinced that if the disagreement lasted less than two or three days, then this means that the parties never made any conclusions and because early reconciliation is simply meaningless!
(Of course, no one can tell you the favorite dates for reconciliation of your partner. You have to set them yourself! And it is best to identify them from an analysis of past quarrels or personal communication with a partner on this topic.
During reconciliation, be sure to say that with a little reflection, you are ready to admit that your partner is right about something. This "in something" is actually not so scary. It is possible that your partner will simply become so pleased that they demand from you significant change their behavior or approaches, no one will come from you!
Fifth advice. Do not discuss conflict situation at the moment of reconciliation!
Polls show:
Most of the quarreling lovers and spouses really do not like to return to the topic of the quarrel during the reconciliation!
And since the statistics are as follows, then it is not worth stroking against the grain! Do not bring up a conflicting topic during reconciliation!
Of course, this does not mean at all that you just need to forget everything that happened and never return to it. Of course not! Indeed, thanks to our reasoning in the first section, you and I remember that no matter how meaningless quarrels may seem, in fact, they never are: our unconscious never does anything just like that! Therefore, you should still return to finding out the true causes of quarrels and mutual unrealized expectations. However, be patient and do it a little later ...
Sixth tip. Make peace very emotionally!
Since most of the respondents really want that the very moment of reconciliation was the most pleasant and memorable event, this means that it needs to be made very emotional!
When you go towards each other with flowers, cake or ice cream, or your loved one finally opens his iron door for you - immediately let out a cry of happiness, drop what you had in crayfish (God bless him, with this cake! that you made it up !!!), hug each other tightly, hug each other until your ribs crunch, kiss, start stroking each other's hair or back, and you may even cry a little!
Trust my professional practice: You can't spoil porridge with butter!
Seventh advice. Explain to your partner why you still decided to make up!
When the question arises about the need to put up after a quarrel, every man and every woman really wants to know two things:
He (her) was still appreciated!
By deciding to call first, the partner is doing it sincerely, and not trying to solve his material, financial, career or sexual problems at your expense.
For this reason, in the monologue that you should compose before you begin to make up, it must be present:
You finally understand with what all the same a good man chatting all this time!
You absolutely do not need anything from him (her), except that this person you adore so much (you just do not always show it well!) Stay with you!
I can absolutely assure you: it will definitely work!
Eighth advice. Convince your partner that you were very bad without him (her)!
This point is not at all a continuation of the previous point. In the seventh paragraph, it was mainly about those words and actions that work at the level of your partner's mind. Now is the time to tackle his emotions!
Having uttered almost ritual phrases during the reconciliation: “You can't even imagine how bad I felt without you all this time! How many times did I want to call you! What bad dreams I have dreamed all this time! How sad I was all this time! And in general: you know how I missed your hands, your arms, your lips and everything, everything ... mmm-mm! " we rarely realize what strings of someone else's soul we really hit! But in fact - we hurt!
If so, then let's get hurt!
The more courageously you admit that you have completely forgotten how to do without your loved one, the sooner you will make peace!
Don't even hesitate!
Ninth advice. Convince your partner that he felt very bad without you!
In chapter 17, "Still, Why Should You Make Up Quickly?" it has already been said that one of the most serious problems that complicate the process of reconciliation after a quarrel is the emergence of a partner's thought (or illusion) that he (a) will be able to live without you!
And there is only one way out: you should definitely convince your partner that:
In fact, he (a) suffered a lot without you;
He (she) was bored without you and had no one to go to the cinema, to a cafe or just to take a walk;
The fact that he (a) has already begun to gradually get used to living without you is just a short-term and extremely dangerous illusion ...
Technically, this is accomplished in two ways:
Two techniques for convincing your partner that he or she was really bad during your separation
Reception number 1.
You offer an extensive cultural program.
When you come to make up, you just have to immediately offer your partner a range of entertainment, cultural or wellness activities! And the very fact of announcing this entire list will show him (her) that it is much more interesting with you than without you!
Reception number 2.
You artificially warm up your partner emotionally by telling about your suffering during the period of separation, willy-nilly, resurrect in his (her) memory your own sufferings of the first days of the quarrel. And everyone must have them!
However, since it often happens that by the time of reconciliation, the main suffering of your partner is already in the past, it means that the only way out for you is to evoke his (her) memories of his (her) own past suffering due to your absence. ... And for this you have to tell him about your own suffering, how to emotionally "light" your partner.
At the moment of reconciliation after a protracted quarrel, one cannot save on emotions!
Put whatever meaning you want in this phrase! Cry, cry, speak the most tender words, punch yourself in the chest and sprinkle ashes on your head! Do what you want - at least dance with sabers, if only the somewhat chilled heart of your loved one warms up a little ...
Warm up - then make up and everything will be fine with you. If you don't warm up - blame yourself!
Tenth advice. Convince your partner that you are still his (her) property!
Whoever denies it, I still remind you:
Love relationships are necessarily built on the feeling of ownership of one person to another!
And therefore, at the moment of reconciliation, it is fundamentally important for you to suppress and extinguish the completely natural jealousy of your partner, to convince him (her) that during your quarrel you did not cheat right and left and your couple has not yet turned into a love triangle.
Technically, this is achieved in three parallel ways:
Three techniques for convincing your partner that you are still his or her property
Reception number 1.
Your alibi for all the days of your temporary absence
At the moment of reconciliation after a protracted quarrel, the most important thing is precisely the alibi, your story about what you have been doing all this time.
When trying to reconcile after three to five days from an argument, you need to be prepared for a very detailed report on how you spent all these days. If this report is poorly prepared, carries a lot of inconsistencies, or turns out to be deliberately deceitful (and this is verifiable), your relationship will receive such a blow "below the belt" from which it may never recover ...
Therefore, try to be either as sincere (to her) and honestly obey what really happened, or create an alibi for yourself that even the union of the legendary Pinkerton and Sherlock Holmes could not destroy. Otherwise, know:
The information that you provide at the moment of reconciliation after a protracted quarrel is forever recorded in the memory of your relationship partner and will never be forgotten.
And if your friend or girlfriend in a year or two suddenly blabs out and your partner reveals some contradictions between what he (she) and the other person said, he (s) will believe the other person. As a result, such a quarrel may occur, which will be already final ...
Accordingly, you should know that:
Anything that you report about your behavior will be checked and rechecked repeatedly. Moreover, even years after your quarrel;
Any minor inconsistencies will cause an even greater outburst of indignation and testify that you are cynically lying in the face of the one who loves you so sincerely. Thus, everything that you say about yourself can (and will !!!) be used against you.
In general, deciding to reconcile in a week or a month, give up stupid smiles and platitudes! Prepare your alibi! And the longer and more detailed your report on how you lived all this time, the better.
Reception number 2.
Playing on partner psychology
It is known that by forcing us to feed ourselves better, dogs play on our most primitive feelings - a sense of ownership and the desire to feel protected. A completely new mongrel for you, wagging its tail at the sight of you and barking a passerby by chance, will immediately cause a surge of warm feelings in you (She protects me !!!) and a piece of sausage. Having barked at another, she automatically became "on her board," "yours."
Using this technique, after going out for a walk together after reconciliation, be sure to speak extremely dismissively about that beautiful girl or that nice guy who looks better than your half. As a result, your girlfriend will be pleased that you are scolding other girls, and the guy will dawn from the realization that you do not need anyone but you! Having found random passers-by-competitors, you will immediately become your own (her) and the partner's doubts about your betrayals will decrease somewhat. (How can you not believe him (her) if he (a) just criticized the one (that) who looks better than me? Of course you can!).
In general, I advise you to make the most of magical meaning phrases "I am your (I)"! The more often you repeat something stupid, like "Your cat missed you very much ...", the faster you will overcome some alienation that naturally arises from jealousy.
Yes, and during normal communication, I strongly advise you:
The more often you say to your partner “I was thinking of you,” the less quarrels and disagreements you will have!
This has been tested on hundreds of pairs! Approved for use!
Reception number 3. Emphasizing your sexual hunger
There is no need to be very wise. Stroke your partner in every possible way, snuggle up to him (her), kiss and directly admit that you are very, very bored and really want him (her) ...
As soon as the opportunity presents itself, have sex immediately! Yes, not just routine sex, but with imagination! Creatively!
By applying all three of these techniques, you are simply doomed to success!
... Having finished the presentation of the ten tips, it would be completely dishonest and wrong to ignore those two nuances in the behavior of reconciling women and men, which we talked about in our Register of Expectations. In the end, these are the same MASS nuances that apply to so many readers. Perhaps on you too.
In general, it's time to comment on two nuances in the form of two additional tips: one for men, the second for women.
Two nuances in the form of two additional tips
Additional advice # 1. If you are a man - do not put up with empty hands!
Since so many ladies want reconciliation after quarrels to leave some pleasant and, most importantly, materialized-material memory about itself, then you should go to meet them!
This is done in an elementary way: when you go to put up, advising you to buy flowers, a cake, a box of chocolates, or at least ice cream. And as soon as your reconciliation has taken place, go to the cinema, to an exhibition, to a cafe or to a museum. It is quite possible that your friend will keep her “lucky” admission ticket in that very little casket for the most valuable thing that most of the girls and women I interviewed have ...
Here are the pleasant sensations and the memory of reconciliation!
Well, if you have a lot of money or just a good imagination - making peace with the lady of your heart, buy her or some useful thing or souvenir. However, I advise you not to overdo it: some clever ladies very quickly begin to quarrel just in order to beg for themselves "something like that." And this is an almost veiled form of prostitution.
Additional advice number 2.
If you are a lady, pretend that you have come to some important conclusions and will definitely make some adjustments to your behavior!
The essence of this advice is also straightforward. Since men boast of their prudence and their tendency to draw profound conclusions from everything, it's time to take this feature into account! And if during the reconciliation they really want to hear what exactly you took out of the quarrel and what conclusions you made, demonstrate to them your ability to analyze what happened and speculate a little about your relationship. Well, at least create the illusion of it.
If you do not do this, the man will become angry that you are soaking the situation, she (like a fire in a fire in a peat bog or in a coal warehouse) goes inside and is fraught with new conflicts. Therefore, in this case, it is best to meet these eternally dissatisfied men halfway.
In any case, you will win together!
Well, well, I fully fulfilled the obligations that I assumed in this section: I analyzed how we put up after quarrels, gave you the opportunity to look at yourself from the outside, and in the end created for you "ten tips on how to put up correctly" after love and family quarrels. Together with the “ten tips on how to quarrel correctly” in the ninth chapter of the second section, which I have already set out in the ninth chapter of the second section, the “quarrels I have unraveled” gave you the opportunity to help you get a good toolkit. In general, now for your love and family quarrels and for subsequent reconciliation you are literally armed to the teeth, and the author is already completely calm for you!
Well, since this chapter was the last in this section, it means that we are moving on to the second, probably the most important section of this book.
And since for four whole sections I stuffed everything and stuffed you with statistics and theoretical reasoning, it means it's time to swing the pendulum towards practice and set aside the entire second section to analyze completely specific and utterly practical situations associated with such quarrels that occur in the lives of most men. and women.
Read the second section "Fifteen Myths About Love Quarrels"!
Remark
As often happens, while people are friends, they do not spoil each other, they save on affectionate words. But when there is a serious quarrel and disagreement - especially a long disagreement with a ringing emptiness - here we begin to pour out such streams of tenderness that even icebergs can melt. But, alas, sometimes no one wants to hear them anymore ... So unhappy people walk around, roaring and suffering from an overabundance all the time (out of habit and out of psychological and emotional inertia) emerging tenderness, like a half-milked cow whose udder is tired of the weight of milk , run around all sorts of "grandmas" and offices of psychologists and psychoanalysts.
And the way out is more than simple:
You need to spend your care and affection not when quarrels and crises arise in relationships, but when everything is good in them!
And if you act in this way, you see, it won't come to quarrels! It will not work, if only because the partners will know without quarrels: they love each other ...
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Questions: How to make up? How to restore a relationship? How to end a fight? and the like, arise in the life of any person constantly.
Because all relationships with people, if they exist, and not only are maintained, sooner or later come to their negative phase - to a quarrel, scandal, disagreement, and so on.
For any development includes, as its essential components, not only the processes of its positive and negative existence, but also its peak states, when there is a transition from the state of positive to negative and back.
In particular, human relationships experience a universal dialectic of development, thus:
1. Positive relationships are developing more and more, expanding, literally, in depth and breadth - relationships are becoming more frank, trusting, personal and joyfully happy.
2. At the same time, gradually, often imperceptibly for people, negative moments accumulate in these relations - wrong words, wrong body movements, wrong reaction, and the like.
3. The negative, having accumulated and matured to a critical mass of obvious dissatisfaction with these relations, splashes out into an emotionally negative state of relations - into a quarrel, as the passage of the peak state of relations, - a transition from positive to negative.
4.After spending some time in the negative phase of the relationship - in a quarrel, people begin to move from it to a positive understanding and feeling of their relationship. This is where the questions arise: How to make peace? How to restore a relationship? How to end a fight?
5. If the relationship continues and if it was initially positive, not negative, then reconciliation occurs - the passage of the peak of denial of the negative in the relationship, and the transition to "pure" positive - the emotionally positive phase of the relationship.
6. And so on as long as this relationship exists. And, by the way, the "goodness" or failure of a relationship is determined not by whether there are quarrels in them or not, but by which phase in them is dominant - more eventful and long in time.
If negative prevails in a relationship, then it is clear that these relationships are torment for their participants. If it is positive, then the relationship, in general, is positive, good, to one degree or another.
It is easy to be convinced of the validity of these arguments by every reader: it is enough to remember and analyze two or three stories of relationships known to you. 
How to make up? How to restore a relationship after a quarrel? General algorithms-rules
How to make peace with your husband? How to make peace with your wife? How to restore relationships with a friend, with a loved one, mother-in-law, mother-in-law, and the like? How to end a fight? These queries are written by the thousands in Internet search engines.
Of course, all relationships are individual and unique in their diversity, and there is no number of them - there are as many of them as there are relationships. different people... And the number and variety of quarrels and ways of resolving them - reconciliation in relationships, generally tends to infinity.
For even a husband and wife, in the same relationship, will quarrel each time and restore the relationship, at least slightly, but in a slightly different way.
Why am I saying this? And to the fact that if we do not work out a general algorithm for how to make peace in relations with people, but we look for a way to make peace in each individual case, after each quarrel in each of our relationships, this is the road to nowhere.
BUT if we see and understand general principles development of relations, we understand why and how quarrels arise, that I am in general outline described above, then we can and must find ways of reconciliation in any relationship.
In particular, what can be the reconciliation algorithm: How to make peace? How to restore a relationship?
1. How to make up? No need to hurry.
Any more or less serious relationship does not have anything fast in itself - nothing happens in them suddenly, for no reason - spontaneously.
If we see this in a relationship, then it only seems to us - we simply do not understand this relationship. Or we do not fully understand them - their essence and their development.
Of course, for any adequate person who lives, and not only philosophizes in his life, there is no sense and need to constantly think and reflect on what my relationship is in its essence.
Well, why should we darken our lives, thinking that the joy of communication in a relationship will inevitably change to negative, and, sooner or later, there will be a quarrel in these relationships !?
People, basically, live in the sensual world, and feelings, in their perceptions of the world and in life, prevail over the rational and reason.
BUT, every enlightened person should know the essential points of relations between people and what rules-algorithms they follow.
If only for the purpose of “not being excruciatingly painful” in these relations, and in order to know how to make peace and how to restore these relations.
So here is the number one rule in the reconciliation algorithm: Don't rush - it's better to put up later than before. In particular:
- Do not rush to quarrel.
Although a quarrel is, as a rule, an emotional explosion of accumulated discontent in a relationship, it is highly desirable to come to a quarrel together - both participants in the relationship.
For example, if the wife is already ready and ripe for a scandal, then the husband may not yet. That is, the husband will have to ripen to a state of quarrel already in the process of how the wife started it.
And he, most likely, will not be angry about the relationship, but about the fact that his wife started a quarrel-scandal. Here there is something to think about, in terms of, and then how to put up.
- In the same way, there is no need to rush to make up.
If it has already occurred to you: How to make peace, how to restore relations? - this does not mean that the same has already visited the head of your opponent.
You will "climb" to make up, oh he (she) is not ready for this yet. What will happen? Escalation of the quarrel and its continuation, because: both must be ready for reconciliation and both must want it, of course.
Sometimes, in some cases, a quarrel in a relationship can last for months and even years. 
2. How to make up? You must always put up.
There are two options for how to make peace:
A. Reconciliation and parting - to break off the relationship or transfer them to a completely different channel.
For example, a husband and wife reconcile, decide to divorce and move on as friends. Or something like that.
I will say right away: In my opinion, in any relationship, you should ALWAYS put up - or, in any case, “let go of the relationship” - stop getting angry, offended, and so on, at your opponent.
Everything: it was and swam - there was a relationship, and there are no more of them, as well as there is no quarrel in them - you ended this relationship as such, and if you have a relationship with this person now, then they are DIFFERENT.
Let you not forgive him for his attitude towards you, but the point is that you no longer have that relationship, and continuing the quarrel, you only continue this negative relationship.
Let only in your head, and not in real life. Do you need them these negative relationships - this constant negativity in your head? If so, then, excuse me, you are simply a masochist or a masochist.
3. How to make up? Who is the first to make peace?
What is the difference, in principle? But, it is believed that the one who started the quarrel and the one who is smarter should be the first to reconcile.
4. How to make up? Indeed, HOW?
The same, but what is the difference, in principle? Simply, given that a quarrel is a sensory and emotional phenomenon in a relationship, then one must also put up sensually and emotionally, and not like two thinkers or great sinners.
How it will be: in the form of spontaneous sex, tearful repentances and promises that "never again", in the form of "peaceful conversation" or simply silent doing "everything is as usual" - this is the business of every reconciled person.
The main thing, after all, is that: go from the negative phase in a relationship caused by a quarrel to the positive phase. 
Please note that the positive, immediately after the quarrel, is the best, because the negative in the relationship has just begun to accumulate - there is time before the next quarrel.
And the frequency of quarrels, just, determines the quality of the relationship: the more often there are major quarrels, the worse the relationship - so it means that there is more negativity in them - the more abnormal they are.
How to make up, how to restore relationships? Yes, there is nothing complicated if this relationship is, in fact, strong and promising, and not only you think so. And if you and your relationship partner truly want that relationship to continue.
In all other situations, when it is hard for you to reconcile and to reconcile in no way does it work, then you should really think about whether it is worth maintaining such a relationship - is it worth putting up - to reconcile what does not want and cannot be peaceful.
OK. How to make up, how to restore relationships, how to end a quarrel? Do you have your own options? Write in the comments.
