Tip 1: How to calm down after an argument
Instructions
Take a deep breath and mentally convince yourself that there are no irreparable situations, time, sooner or later, will put everything in its place. This means that it is worth spending on creepy experiences only in one case - if you feel guilty about yourself. Then you have to admit it, otherwise you risk endless torment. The ability to recognize your mistakes and correct them in time is the best way to find peace of mind. But rare people are able to do this, strong enough to humble pride and subdue the fighting fervor that has flared up due to the conflict.
Look at the situation positively. What good is a fight? Reconciliation, of course. If a person is close and very dear to you, then it is incredibly pleasant to put up with him. Moreover, such a shake-up of relations is not at all useless when it is not abused. If you dislike the one with whom the misunderstanding has arisen, you can, if not forever, but for a while, get rid of the object of irritation, which is also not bad.
Always analyze the actions and words of your own and the opposite side. This will help, at least partially, to disconnect from emotions and see things clearly. There will be an opportunity to see a solution to the problem, which will avoid a long-term "war" and future quarrels.
If emotions are "splashing over the edge" and it seems that you are about to "boil", then allow yourself to "let off steam". There is a good way: yell at an inanimate object, presenting it as your abuser. Just do it in a place where there are no people. Otherwise, you will not be understood and taken for abnormal.
Use relaxing remedies. For example, relax in nature - it has an amazing property, listen to pleasant music - it can also restore balance, or take a bath - water will relieve stress. In general, do something that will give you pleasure and distract from thoughts about the quarrel that happened.
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Clashes of interest are an essential element of communication. After all, it is impossible to always adapt to others or expect similar behavior from others. However, it is necessary to know when to stop and not to allow disputes and discussions to develop into conflict situations. And if it was not possible to avoid a scandal, then the ability to put up will help to correct the situation.
Instructions
Pause. You shouldn't try to continue the conversation immediately after an argument. After all, each person needs a certain time to cool down and sort out his thoughts and emotions. Even if you calmed down in a few minutes and came up with a couple more weighty arguments in your favor, you should not expect your partner to be ready for a constructive conversation. It is possible that he has not yet managed to cope with the negative residue left after the scandal. This means that instead of jointly searching for the optimal solution, you will again begin to sort things out.
Find the right words. Psychologists advise avoiding accusations and talking more about your own emotions, and not about your partner's mistakes. Try not to use statements - conflictogens that can turn even the smallest dispute into a grand scandal. Such phrases include rhetorical questions with a negative connotation (“why have you never ...”, “what have you ever thought about,” etc.), unflattering epithets, comparisons and any offensive remarks. Try to use the technique of "I-statement": "I hate that you do this, because because of this I feel ...".
Look for a compromise solution. You should not re-insist on your own point of view, otherwise you run the risk of quarreling with your interlocutor again. Respect his opinion, even if it seems completely wrong to you. Tell your partner about your vision of the situation, then listen carefully to his version. Only after that should you start looking for a solution that will appeal to both.
Come up with a code word. If you often quarrel with a loved one: your beloved, mom, girlfriend, then it is better to take preventive measures to maintain peace in the relationship. For example, choose a word that will signal that you need to end the squabble. This is an easy way to defuse the situation and turn the conversation on a more peaceful channel.
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Not a single family is immune from quarrels and disagreements. Perhaps such moments are even necessary to reconsider your views on relationships and appreciate your partner even more. But so that the quarrel does not develop into a large abyss between the spouses, it must be perceived correctly and not to commit rash acts.
Instructions
Pause. After a quarrel, it is better not to rush to continue to sort things out. Even if you feel that you have cooled down and are ready to talk, let your partner calm down. All people are different, and a few minutes or even an hour is not enough for someone to calmly react to any word spoken immediately after a spat. Sit in silence, get distracted by your daily activities, trying not to think about what happened between you.
Don't screw yourself up. Surely both you and your husband have their own vision of the problem that has arisen between you. And it is not necessary that one of you is right and the other is categorically wrong. Understand that in any such situation, both spouses are to blame. Is it worth looking for the culprit, digging into the origins of the disagreement? It may be better to forgive your husband for the harsh words spoken to you in the heat of a quarrel, and ask for forgiveness yourself.
Look at the problem through the eyes of your soul mate. Analyze why he thinks so, why he disagrees with you. Perhaps you can understand why you did not agree on a particular issue and can figure out how you both come to a compromise. Do not under any circumstances think that your relationship is at an impasse. There is a way out of any situation. And if you both try to meet each other halfway, you will be able to make peace and draw the right conclusions about how to behave in such moments.
Don't let your pride run wild. This noble feeling is completely out of place in family relationships. Even if it's difficult for you, try to cool down and calm down as quickly as possible after fights. Never forget that your husband is by your side, and every minute spent in bad relations with each other can lead to great difficulties in the relationship. Do not push your spouse away if he came up for reconciliation first. Surely it was also difficult for him to forget about pride and decide to apologize. Do not be cold with your half, try to keep such moments as few as possible in your life together.
Conflict can arise even in a happy, strong marriage. Your family life largely depends on how faithfully you behave after a quarrel with your spouse. Learn to successfully cope with difficult situations in your union, and your relationship with your husband will invariably improve.
Instructions
Ask your spouse for forgiveness if you feel guilty about your fight. Only this must be done on time and sincerely. The moment immediately after the scandal is not very suitable for repenting and asking for forgiveness. If your spouse is still very angry, you better leave him alone. But it is also impossible to delay reconciliation for several days. During this time, the conflict situation can worsen significantly. As soon as you feel that your husband has cooled down a little, go up to him and calmly talk. Look right in the eyes of the faithful, say that you are very sorry that you had a quarrel. Explain the reasons for your actions and show that you are ready to correct your own behavior in the future. Your man is unlikely to resist such an apology.
Find a compromise solution if each of you wants to defend your own interests. At the same time, you need to understand yourself and convince your loved one that the interests of the family should come first for you. You are one team and must be ready to make some personal sacrifices for the sake of family well-being. Let selfish goals give way to shared goals. If your spouse is not ready to go to peace, talk to him about how he sees the future of your marriage. Perhaps you are missing some kind of global plans for living together that will determine the overall strategy of your family. Once you and your husband figure out what you want to achieve together in a few years time, you will start working more together and the number of conflicts due to conflicts of interest will decrease.
It is not worth it because something does not suit you in the character or behavior of your husband. If the fight has already occurred, think about what exactly annoys you about your spouse. Remember that you fell in love with this man and decided to link your future life with him. Now it is important to learn to accept it with all the shortcomings, and not to make scandals because of some kind of habits of the spouse. It will be easier to accept your husband as he is if you sometimes put yourself in his shoes. Try to be imbued with his interests and understand the point of view of your faithful. Surely after such a psychological exercise, your family relationships will become more cloudless.
Sources:
- if you had a fight with your husband
Tip 5: How to quickly make up after an argument with your loved one
Conflicts and quarrels are almost inevitable in any, even the most idyllic relationship. If you conflict correctly, without crossing certain boundaries, then you will not have to put up with it later - all misunderstandings will be clarified and settled immediately. But if, nevertheless, there was a serious quarrel and you do not want to lose your loved one at the same time, there are simple tips on how to quickly make up.
As folk wisdom says, the first to be reconciled is the one who loves the most. Be the first, this is not a sign of weakness, but evidence of strength of mind and love. Generosity, the ability to admit one’s wrong or to forgive the weakness of another, the desire to be the first to reach out are wonderful qualities that cannot but be appreciated by your loved one.
If you understand that you are definitely the culprit of the quarrel, do not force your loved one to suffer from resentment, ask for forgiveness as soon as possible. The sword does not cut the guilty head, again, the people say.
Find the strength to apologize for harsh words that fly out in the heat, even if you don't feel guilty about the cause of the argument. Talk about your feelings with your loved one calmly, kindly. Be sincere, do not be afraid to say how much you love him and how hard it is for you to be in a quarrel.
If you know about the irascibility of a loved one, do not initiate reconciliation immediately after an argument, let him cool down. Otherwise, you may unwittingly provoke a new outburst of anger.
If your loved one is offended for a long time, then show patience and tact. Maybe it’s better to leave him alone for a while. And then give him signs that you are ready for communication and reconciliation, perhaps even through envoys.
A bouquet of flowers is a traditional, but no less wonderful way for quick reconciliation with your beloved woman! Or you can show your imagination and use unusual techniques: for example, trample in the snow under the window of a woman dear to you, a declaration of love or order the services of a climber with flowers or a bunch of balloons.
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No matter how people love a friend, no one is immune from quarrels. If your loved one is dear to you, then you need to learn to quarrel constructively.
1. Avoid insults that degrade the dignity of a loved one (you will regret it later, and he will remember this insult for the rest of his life).
2. Never go into discussion of relatives, especially the mother.
3. Don't compare him to other men.
4. Do not criticize a man's mental abilities and his success at work.
5. Do not generalize ("You never succeed", "You always throw things around").
6. Instead of "You are doing wrong" say "I hate when you do this."
7. Do not let them belittle and insult you. Remember, you are partners, which means you have equal rights in a relationship.
8. If you are both at the limit and are ready to tell each other too much, then it is better to just leave the room, take a walk on the street. So you calm down yourself and let your loved one pull himself together.
If conflict is inevitably brewing in a relationship, consider it an occasion for serious conversation and renewal of the relationship. Sit down at the negotiating table and calmly discuss the accumulated mutual claims.
Helpful advice: never put off resolving the conflict until later, the sooner you understand each other, the better.
And remember, hushing up problems is not the best way out, because sooner or later they will return. Two loving people can always come to an agreement and find a compromise.
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Quarrels are part of a relationship. They can both improve relationships between people and worsen them. Often, our emotions do not allow us to adhere to a logical chain in an argument, we get angry and begin to say offensive, not reasoned words. There are competent tactics that will help resolve conflict situations.
Focus on facts. Sometimes a person starts a conflict without even understanding its essence. If you see yourself engaging in meaningless dialogue, stop it. The nerves and time spent resolving a dispute is worth a lot more than proving to yourself and others that you are a winner. Imagine yourself in the place of the interlocutor, hear his point of view. So you can understand what makes a person defend certain views. Perhaps the interlocutor feels threatened by you, afraid of defeat or your harsh reaction. But by showing sympathy for your counterpart, you will cool the escalating situation. This will help you make a mutual decision faster.
Let your opponent talk. Be an open conversationalist, ready to listen to the other person's opinion. Do not tune in negatively from the beginning; on the contrary, show that you want to find an alternative. Listening skills often have a positive effect on resolving a dispute.
Don't let your emotions get the best of you. In conflict, calmness is a sign of greatness, and nervousness and excessive emotionality speak of insecurity and fear. You need a sober view of what is happening, emotions obscure your eyes with bias and prevent you from seeing the truth. In addition, being tense, a person is capable of both offending and offending, which will further inflame the conflict. Therefore, calmness and calmness again.
Tune in to resolve the dispute. The right attitude is half the battle. Arm yourself with all the arguments, facts, settle down to the interlocutor and show that you want to objectively clarify the situation. That is, it doesn't matter who is right or who comes out the winner, the main thing is the decision. If the controversial issue is not a matter of principle for you, you can resort to adaptation. Yes, you completely agree with the vis-a-vis. Yes, the truth is on his side, but on yours - a moral victory (after all, you generously conceded in the conflict), gained time and maintained good relations with the interlocutor.
Finally, always respect your opponent. Never stoop to humiliation and insults. Remember that you are people (co-workers, comrades) who have yet to communicate. There is no need to spoil the relationship. 
Tip 8: How to Fight with Your Husband: 12 Ways to Get What You Want Out of Him
The purpose of any quarrel is to change attitudes for the better or to achieve some specific result. Therefore, it is very important to understand what to say and how to behave during a conflict. Of course, if in the end, you want to get what you want and get what you want after a quarrel.
So how do you have to quarrel with your husband?
1. Don't raise your tone. This will only cause unnecessary aggression from the husband, and it will be much more difficult to get something out of him.
2. Do not humiliate your husband, his family, friends. Eliminate negative words from your speech. Everyone understands that any insults during a quarrel do not lead to anything good.
3. Don't make fun of your husband's hobbies. Better to use them correctly during conflict. Try to manipulate them carefully.
4. Do not remember past grievances, in response, the husband will remember his own.
5. Do not touch sick topics. So you run the risk of going deeper into the main conflict and developing it to the scale of a global scandal.
6. Listen to your husband without interrupting. Let him talk. Then, deftly use his findings to your advantage.
7. Do not draw conclusions for him, do not attribute hidden meaning to his words and actions. Take everything as he said.
8. Talk about your feelings, about yourself, and do not criticize. Start phrases with "I ..." and not with "You ...".
9. Know how to defuse the situation with a joke. With the help of good humor, you can easily get out of the turn of the conflict that is unnecessary for you, deploying it in a profitable direction.
10. Do not try to blackmail your husband. Nothing. Never. Even if it works one day, the next time it will be much more difficult. Besides, he can in fact blackmail in return. As a result, you will not get a conflict to achieve a goal, but problems in your marriage.
11. Admit your guilt and ask for forgiveness. Sometimes this is the most successful and simple trick to achieve what you want.
12. Never discuss your quarrels with friends, family. Sooner or later, the husband will find out about this, and it will be more difficult to achieve what he wants.
