How to understand an ex-husband
The reasons for divorce from a husband can be completely different circumstances: from his betrayal to unwillingness to provide for the family. The initiators of the separation are most often women, but sometimes men. In this case, the fair sex is very hard going through the breakup, secretly hoping that everything can still get better. But how to understand what the ex-husband is thinking when he constantly finds a reason to talk, meet or come to visit. Whether it is possible to believe him and whether he will not betray again.
How to understand the ex. What does he want
After parting, as a rule, communication between people who were once in love with each other stops. Each of them needs time to come to their senses, get used to the changes that have taken place in life, analyze everything that has happened, and understand themselves. Women try to understand where they were wrong, where they were wrong, what they did wrong, even if their husband cheated on them. At this time, it is very important not to overdo it with self-digging and searching in yourself for all imaginable and inconceivable shortcomings. People are imperfect, and a person is not to blame for all troubles. It is very important to let others take responsibility for their mistakes, rather than take the blame on yourself. Therefore, you do not need to immediately believe what the ex-husband will say when he reappears on the doorstep.Very often, as soon as a representative of the sex gets used to the fact that her life is changing its course, she has new problems and responsibilities that require attention and strength, the former begins to constantly remind of herself. If there are joint children, this can be attributed to his desire to be with them, but when he now and then meets, wherever you go, he calls with or without reason, tries to establish communication, although you broke up a few months ago, he pursues his own goals. But, unfortunately, they are not always associated with his repentance or desire to improve and become the man you will love again, learn to trust and be proud of.
Rarely, parting is painless and with the consent of both parties. Therefore, after it, it is so difficult to establish friendly communication and you just want to forget everything, like a bad dream. If there is no way to avoid meeting, your ex-husband's attempts to see you as often as possible may indicate his desire to improve relations. Do not rush to draw conclusions and do not rush to meet him. Focus on your feelings. If meeting with him makes you irritated, angry or sad, ask him not to bother you so often or for a while, explain that you are not ready yet. If you are not at all in the mood to communicate with him, tell him about it. Do not give him hope, do not try to be overly educated when a person does not understand the hints that he is not at all welcome.
If you leave yourself a chance to try again to build a relationship with him, and he agrees to leave you alone for a while, and then starts calling again, asking to meet and talk to him, do not refuse. Even if the relationship does not grow into something big, then at least you will no longer remember with bitterness the years you lived together or regret not trying to give the relationship another chance. After all, it is so important not to hide resentment in your soul, not to torture yourself in vain, but to treat this page in life as a useful experience that allows you to look at the world around you and your personal life in a new way.
In the same case, when the man himself decided to break off the relationship and after a while is looking for a meeting with you, it means that he began to doubt his decision. Do not think that he will quickly offer to live together. At the moment, he is trying to understand whether he did the right thing, did not rush, whether he was mistaken. If you want him back, give him a reason to stay. Show him that you understood your mistakes, corrected yourself and are ready to build relationships together and accept him for who he is, without trying to correct him or criticizing him for any reason. 
When he calls only when he is in a very cheerful state, after taking several glasses of alcohol, he appears at night, and then disappears again, without explaining anything, unfortunately, for him the ex-girlfriend is just a convenient option. He's not going to come back. Everything suits him. He spends his free time with friends, relaxes and goes about his business, but when he wants to feel care and affection, he remembers his ex. He has not changed, has not admitted mistakes, is not going to change anything in life. There is no need to talk about any feelings here. It will not be possible to return him, and to restore good relations, too. If you do not want to feel like a "spare" airfield, try to explain to him as soon as possible that you have a new life and he has no place in it. Take pity on yourself, let him go and allow yourself to enjoy life, and not depend on the whim of a man who is simply using you for his personal interests.
- If a husband left the family because of another woman, but does not refuse to communicate with you, this does not mean at all that he still loves you. Take a closer look at him and his behavior. In the event that he promises to come in to help and does not come, without even bothering to call and warn that he will not come, his feelings have cooled down, and he only out of the kindness of his soul agrees to help you. Don't waste the best years of your life on him, hoping that he still loves you and will be back soon. Forget about it and take care of your own personal life. But if his new passion does not want your communication or she has some problems, and he prefers to help you, then everything is not so smooth in his new family. You managed to forgive him and want to return him at all costs, surround him with care, become an understanding, affectionate woman with whom he is so connected. And very soon he will return home. They don't refuse good things ...
- The ex-spouse constantly calls and asks how you live, if his help is needed, he definitely wants to return home. So it only depends on your desire when it happens. But don't agree to take it back too quickly. Let him realize that you respect yourself and give him one last chance, so he should appreciate him. Otherwise, he will perceive your surrender as his personal victory and decide that you are crazy about him and forgive everything that he does not do. You must respect yourself, otherwise in a few years everything can happen again.
- If a man continues to take care of you, pamper you with small gifts, has become much more affectionate and attentive than when you lived together, he again tries to win you over. An ex-husband who was caught cheating in this way tries to make amends, hoping that everything can still be corrected. And the man with whom you broke up because he disappointed you is trying to convince you that you were in a hurry to break up, and demonstrates how good he is and deserves your love.
- When conversations with your ex-husband on the phone drag out, and the calls themselves are being heard more and more often, and he repeats how pleased he was to hear you, he dreams of being there and renewing the relationship.
- Attempts to do things that unite you together do not yet indicate his desire to return. He may still have feelings for you, but not so strong as to renew the relationship. Thus, he controls you, creating in himself the illusion that he has everything under control and not wanting to part with the feeling of stability that you gave him.
- When any conversations between you, one way or another, boil down to a discussion of why you broke up, he has not yet realized why this happened and wants to understand how to get everything back on track. Male pride does not allow him to admit his own mistakes. Only you are able to understand this situation. If you need him, make it clear that you don't mind trying to start over and subtly hint where he was wrong. If you want to get rid of him forever, stop communicating altogether.
- If he is often interested in your mutual acquaintances how you live, with whom you communicate, he is interested in learning about your status. On the one hand, it can be ordinary jealousy, when the feelings have not yet cooled down, and in this case there is every chance of returning it, and on the other hand, a sense of ownership, as they say, neither to oneself nor to people.
Take your time to draw conclusions until you are convinced that the ex-husband really realized his mistake and is ready to correct. Don't try to find out the truth by seeking answers from him. Observe him, test it and only then make a decision: whether you agree with him again or is it better to limit your communication forever.
