How to swear with your husband: taboos in quarrels that must not be violated
Natalya Kaptsova
Reading time: 7 minutes
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Any woman is able to "sculpt" from her husband whatever she wants, like from melting plasticine. And the tools for this nature has given the most effective - affection, tenderness and love. True, not everyone has the strength or desire to use these tools. As a result, quarrels with her husband cannot be avoided.
Quarrels happen in any family, but it is not they that lead to the collapse of the family boat, but the behavior in their process. How to quarrel with your spouse and what absolutely cannot be done?
How to swear with your husband: taboos in quarrels that must not be violated
How to avoid mistakes
that could cost you long years of marriage? To begin with, remember what is taboo in quarrels
.
Rules that must not be broken
- You can't criticize your other half. Men's pride is more vulnerable than women's. If you feel that your tongue is about to break off - “You always spoil everything!”, “Where do your hands grow from!”, “You can’t even fix the tap!”, “Dressed up like a clown again!”, “Yes You can't do anything at all!" etc. - count to 10, calm down and forget these words that are offensive to your husband. A man who is proud of grows wings, and a man who is constantly criticized loses all desire, including the desire to return home. Read also:
- Women's "things", like eye rolling, snorting, unkind scoffing, boorish "shots" etc. - this is an expression of contempt that acts on a man like a bull - a red rag.
- Dead silence, icy silence and slamming doors - they will not punish the “unscrupulous” husband and will not make him think. In most cases, everything will be exactly the opposite.
- Never do not allow yourself to quarrel with your spouse in front of strangers (and relatives too) people.
- A categorical taboo on insults and humiliation of manhood. Even the most perfect man can not stand this.
- Never bring up old grudges and don't compare your husband to other men.
- Do not sort things out if both of you (or one of you) are in state of alcoholic intoxication .
- Never end a fight by slamming the door or weeks of silence.
Basic rules of a quarrel: how to swear correctly?
Comparing male and female psychology is a thankless task. The cause of a quarrel is often a simple misunderstanding. The husband is angry because of the coldness of his wife, the wife - because he does not understand her, and as a result, all the accumulated problems mercilessly fall out on each other.
But the family is patience and a lot of daily work. And someone must give way.
If the spouse is a wise woman, she will be able to repay or prevent the conflict in a timely manner. 
What should be remembered about quarrels?
- It is easier to prevent a quarrel than to disentangle its consequences. . You feel that a storm is about to break out, and a stream of claims will splash out on you - let your spouse let off steam. Do not defend yourself, do not attack, hold back offensive words torn in response - listen calmly and answer with reason.
- If you have claims against your husband, then the worst option is to present them during a quarrel . You can’t accumulate discontent in yourself, otherwise it will cover your family with a snowball. But it is also necessary to solve problems, as you know, as they accumulate. Got a problem? Solve it right away - calmly, without shouting, without distrust, attacks and contempt. Perhaps your problem is a figment of your imagination. If you live with this person, then you trust him? And if you trust, then there is no need to follow the path of maximum resistance.
- Family life is a constant compromise. Without them, it is impossible to coexist peacefully. Therefore, resolve any issues (whether ideological or otherwise) with reason, delving into his point of view and explaining the advantages of your own. And do not be afraid to speak directly - men do not like hints and, as a rule, do not understand. An example is a holiday gift. The phrase “Oh, what beautiful earrings” a man will most likely miss, and the phrase “I want these!” take it as a guide to action. And then there will be no such problem as resentment against her husband for his inattention.
- If a quarrel could not be avoided, remember - never say words that you may regret later , and do not hit on "sore spots". Hold back your emotions. You can splash out the negative and burn negative feelings in other ways (sports, manual labor, etc.).
- You choose a constructive form of dialogue - offer options to change the situation, but do not blame your spouse for what happened. Firstly, it is meaningless (what happened - it happened, this is already the past), and secondly, reproaches are a step back in a relationship.
- Do not know how to express claims without emotions? Write them down on paper.
- Use the delayed start method "(as in a slow cooker). Postpone the showdown for an hour (day, week). When you cool down and calmly think about the situation, it is quite possible that there will be nothing to find out - the problem will exhaust itself.
- Look for the problem in yourself. Do not dump all the sins of the world on your spouse. If there is a quarrel in the family, then both are always to blame. Try to understand your husband - what exactly is he dissatisfied with. Maybe you really need to change something in yourself?
- If you feel that the quarrel has dragged on - take the first step towards . Even if you refuse to admit your guilt, give your spouse the opportunity to emphasize your status as a man who is always right. Let him think that it is. It is not for nothing that the phrase “a man is a head, a wife is a neck” exists among the people. Turn this "head" where you need it.
- A man should always feel that you love him. . Even during a fight. You are one, don't forget that. Read:
- Do not switch to "you", speak from your "I". Not “it’s your fault, you didn’t do it, you didn’t call ...”, but “it’s unpleasant for me, I don’t understand, I’m worried ...”.
- Humor is the best assistant in any tense situation . Not sarcasm, not irony, not scoffing! Namely, humor. He extinguishes any quarrels.
- Learn to stop in time admit they were wrong and ask for forgiveness.
- Tell him the same thing for the tenth time and he doesn't hear you? Change tactics or end the conversation .
Remember: your spouse is not your property. He is a man with his own ideas about this life, and he is a man. Do you love children the way they were born? Love your husband for who he is.
The ideal formula for marriage is to treat your spouse as a friend. If your friend is angry, nervous, screaming, you do not send him back for a list of failures and failures in your relationship? No. You calm him down, feed him and say that everything will be fine with him. Husband should be friend too who will be understood and reassured.
