Why men do not fit the woman you like. Why guys are not suitable to meet
Among the misconceptions that exist about men and what they think is the biggest - the following: "If I really liked him, he would come up and talk to me." No, I would not have approached and did not speak.
Matthew Hussey
In fact, the more you attract a guy, the less likely he is to suit you. Why? Because he, too, is damn hard to talk to a girl, from which everything inside him is melting.
Those who belong to the “school of touchy” claim that a woman should always wait until the man turns to her, because then - and only then - she can understand whether he really is in love with her. I came to inform you about the sensational news: there is not a single gram of truth in this statement.
Blame it on this TV, blame it on this movie, but the fact that men regularly roll in on women is a gigantic delusion. This is a well-established prejudice that it is men who initiate contact, that a girl just needs to demonstrate herself, and the guys who are attracted to her will wind around like a bee around a flower.
If your experience confirms this - that is, men do not flirt with you regularly - then you are probably convinced that they are not attractive for men. And in fact, most men are timid to approach women who attract them. Many men also do not have the habit of regularly flirting with women. I know dozens of men, beautiful and charming, intelligent and talented, good-natured and cheerful, who never approach unfamiliar women in public places. Except, of course, in cases when alcohol gives courage to them, or the woman in question is the best friend of one of their friends.
I do not mean that they never stick to women. They can "drive up" to many women.
Often flirting with women is their magic wand, a social device. I do not have a national opinion polling service, but I’m ready to fight
D, that these sociable, broken, “hey-baby-can-you-treat” guys make up about 1% of the total population. Thus, if a man rolls up to you at a party and tries to charm you in every way, then it is likely that this is the guy you should avoid. And while he does this, from all sides you are surrounded by a whole crowd of decent, interesting men who do not have the habit of talking to unfamiliar women.
Even if these men believe that taking care of women is their social, knightly duty, they sometimes do not do so well. They are even less tempted in this business than you.
Here is a familiar scene. Your girlfriend is celebrating her birthday. And here you are at a party: all your friends have wandered off somewhere, and you are standing, frantically clutching a glass in your hand. On the other side of the room you notice a nice man. It seems to you that he is looking at you. Wouldn't it be great if he came over to chat with you? He looks at you. He just smiled. You notice that, smiling, he becomes even prettier. You smile back. Why is it not suitable? You somehow continue the evening, talking with the few people you know here. He smiles again. Then he takes his glass and walks away. Gives you a long look before joining your friends' company.
You are embraced by a familiar feeling of frustration. Why didn't he come up and say hello ?!
Why men are afraid to approach a woman
He is afraid of disgracing himself in front of his friends.
Looking a fool in front of your friends means much more to a man than a woman can imagine. What if he comes to you, and you give him a turn from the gate or give him a deadly empty look? What, he thinks, if your boyfriend is coming back from the bar with martini in his hands? He will have only one thing left to do: m-d-ln-nn-o turn around and retreat to his friends, who will poke him under the ribs and make fun of him, thus lowering his self-esteem and ensuring that he is more never in her life will lead a conversation with an unfamiliar woman.
These fears are so primitive and rooted in the male psyche that even if you give him a signal, allowing him to approach him, he can still misinterpret him.
Failure with the opposite sex is a severe blow to the male ego, more than any woman can imagine. This fear of humiliation feeds the male tendency to invent adventures that allegedly took place, and that is why men who never sleep with anyone else brag about their victories to their friends. That is why the young guys boast to each other the women with whom they allegedly slept, or the fact that the sexy model girl gave them her phone number, or the number of dates they had visited in the last week.
The desire to confirm sexual attractiveness explains male posturing and that kind of desire to surpass others, which so openly rules the behavior of men. Have you ever noticed that friendly communication between men is focused on chasing each other's ambitions and striving to make the other a fool? Male friendship is still often based on the struggle for status.
Moreover, the man is most actively fighting for his social status among his peers. Men, whose opinion worries him most of all, are not strangers in a bar, but his friends. It is within his own company that he must fight for domination, and that is why any public humiliation, especially from a woman, is so painful for him.
He is afraid of what you and your friends can say.
The risk that you will reject him, and the ridicule with which he imagines that your girlfriends will shower him, is so painful that the man will retreat rather than risk the prospect of being rejected. If you see him talking to other women, it is likely that he does this because he feels: here he has absolutely nothing to lose.
When it comes to the average man, the woman who drives him crazy scares him the most. He feels unworthy of her. It seems to him that she can choose any man from those present. And his status as a man is at stake, so if he comes to her and she rejects him, he will feel the very sharp pain of rejection that we all instinctively try to avoid.
In this regard, men and women are not so different from each other. You probably feel just as uncomfortable with a man who you think is attractive, just like a man with a woman to whom he is attracted. Imagine how much easier it is to flirt and be sexual in communication with a man in whom you are not interested; the same is true for us men.
Why is this so? In the company of friends, it is easy to paint our remarkable qualities and all that makes us ideal candidates; but when we sit in front of a person who has the power to hire us, we are clamped, because we are not indifferent to the result. At the very moment when you begin to depend on the approval of the man, all those qualities that make you an energetic, spontaneous, intriguing, sexually attractive woman, mysteriously disappear somewhere.
Limon.KG - You are a beautiful, smart girl. Always look great, always favorably disposed towards others. But did the following happen to you: you notice how the guy looks at you greedily. You see that he likes, but he is in no hurry to come up and meet you. Why it happens?
The answer is very simple - the man is afraid. What - you ask? Let's try to figure out what scares men so beautiful girls.
First, the man is simply afraid to approach you, he thinks so that you will certainly refuse him. Just imagine, he gathered all his forces into a fist and decided to take such a step - to approach to get acquainted with a stunning beauty. And here, he took and was refused. And this happened in front of everyone around. What is the result? Self-esteem at the guy falls to the level of the plinth, cursing everything, he promises himself that he will never be the first to ever again.
Only it is necessary to understand, but do you need such a cowardly guy? Girls, you need to know that if you are really interesting to a man, then nothing will stop him and he will get your attention. Well, or at least try to do it.
Another reason, just do not laugh. The guy is afraid to meet a beautiful girl, because he doesn’t know what to do with her further if she agrees to leave her phone number. Funny to you? But the reality is, the guy is so not confident in his abilities and that he may be interested in the girl, that only one thought scares him, that she can agree to go on a date with him.
He is afraid to approach you because he thinks that you and your girlfriends will laugh at him. And this is the worst punishment for a man and his self-esteem. So, if you like him too, you should step aside with him to your friends. Men are very vulnerable, and only we can protect them from serious blows to their self-esteem.
All the reasons for the male fear of beautiful girls boil down to the commonplace - lack of self-confidence. And you, lovely and beautiful girls, have nothing to do with it. Only the man himself can deal with his fears and complexes. But, if his sympathy for you is really strong, he must overcome all his fears. Otherwise, miss, perhaps, the very - his only one.
Another reason why he does not approach you is that he does not want this. Yes, he looked at you all evening. But watching in our country is absolutely not prohibited. He admired your beauty and everything, he does not want to do anything else. Why ask? Maybe he is lazy or he has a girlfriend, and there is no desire to go against her, even if he really liked you.
Girls, if guys are afraid to approach you, just because you are too beautiful and he is afraid that you will reject him or that he will not pull you - this is not your problem, therefore, you should not be upset and think that the reason is in you. Let him regret that he missed such a chance - to meet a beautiful girl.
But, nevertheless, if the man you like is hesitant to approach you. And you like him very much, and then you will regret for a long time that you have not met, there are several ways that a man should do to overcome his fears.
First, it is not necessary to approach and immediately begin to meet and confess love. You can come up with some interesting question that will intrigue a girl.
A beautiful girl is not necessarily a fool. It is time to bury this stereotype. If a girl is beautiful, it does not mean that she lacks gray matter in her brain.
A man must understand that his self-doubt is only the fruit of his imagination. Only a young man himself can increase his self-esteem.
Today we will touch on a very scrupulous topic about why men are not active, do not show courage, are not suitable to get acquainted. Sometimes it even happens that you feel that you like a man, but for some reason he still does not suit you and passes by.
Why men are not suitable to meet?
The problem here is the difference in how we work. What does a woman usually do? She takes an unapproachable look on herself (“just try come to me and I will kill you!”) And walks with such a look. Very often, men perceive it as arrogance and even a certain disgust in relation to the male sex. Women behave this way for two reasons:
1) someone taught her: the more inaccessible you seem, the more important you will be;
2) because of the fear that it might be considered dissolved, too intrusive, etc.
What happens in a man's head at this moment? How does a man work? No matter how ironic it may sound, in every man there is a kind of missionary work on the subconscious: roughly speaking, there is a task and it must be done, there is a task to meet a woman and she must be done, there is a task to earn money and she should be done. But here there is one very important point: there are many missions in a man’s life and there’s no point in wasting time on what you’re not capable of and inaccessible from the beginning, because there are still a lot of important things to do. Accordingly, if a man sees that you are initially inaccessible to him, he simply passes by.
What to do if men are not suitable for you to meet
What to do? It is clear that you do not need to be too intrusive and demonstrate your interest, but you need to be able to provoke a man to meet. and the foundation of the basics here is to show him that you are open for dating, you are open for communication, you are open for romantic relationships. And in this regard, you will be helped by two of the most powerful tools: a look and a smile, and in their correct combination and application it gives the effect of a bombshell.
In order to learn how to do it, to develop this skill in yourself, you need to perform one simple exercise. It is done in two weeks: during the first week you leave your home, wherever you are: in the subway, in the minibus, in the shopping center, on the street, you look at every passing man in the eye. Men feel when they are looked at, and look up at you too, and at this moment the main thing is not to look away first. the purpose of this exercise is not to meet someone, to like someone, the purpose of this exercise is to train the skill to look boldly in the eyes. Not every person can do this. Do not think at this moment that they will think about you, whether they think you are adequate or not, this is just a skill training and treat it that way. In the second week, you add a smile to it, that is, you go, look at the man, he looks up at you, you look him in the eye for a few moments, then you smile sweetly and move on. You do not need to meet anyone, you do not need to say anything, you just look into the eyes, smile and move on. Believe that in 99.9% they will not think anything bad about you, any normal adequate man will think: "well, finally, there was one normal woman who gave me a smile and some pleasant moments."
By doing this exercise constantly, you will develop the skill of being open to communication and dating, and your success with men will increase many times.
Of course, many of us women even couldn’t imagine that most men are experiencing an incredible “fear of approach” to the stranger they like.
But why? After all, we are so accustomed to the fact that they are a strong half of humanity, they are conquerors, knights, etc. We are so counting on it that we have been granted the right to meet the first man.
In my opinion - this is correct when the man himself starts dating. But, I am also sure that we - women should help them in this :)
Do you know where the “fear of approach” settled in the head of a strong man?
There are several reasons for this:
- The first reason is hiding on an unconscious level, and went to modern men from distant ancestors.
Think about it yourself, in ancient times, if a man approached an alien woman, he could be killed without even asking for the purpose of the approach.
At present, this reason has acquired a slightly different form of manifestation. A man is afraid to come up because he thinks that this
the woman is already busy with someone. - The second reason is the fear of failure and rejection.
Most men fear defeat. And if his defeat noticed by others? No, such a large part of men simply cannot survive.
Therefore, if a man is not sure that he is not interested in you, then he is unlikely to approach you in a crowded place, and especially in the presence of your girlfriends.
Surprisingly, some girls, instead of polite gratitude for being noticed and further polite refusal to meet, manage to humiliate or rudely answer a so agitated man.
You must admit that we, by our behavior, made a considerable contribution to the development of the fear of failure and to be rejected in men.
- The third reason is the lack of self-confidence and self-reliance.
Some men, looking at you, think: "She is so beautiful ... No, I definitely do not deserve her." While they are looking at you, the whole process of possible acquaintance has time to whip in their heads.
They represent how they approach you, make attempts to get acquainted, even if you did not immediately refuse, they are sure that after 10 minutes of communication they will not be interesting for you.
Their interested gaze gives way to sadness and unsure of themselves, men pass by or turn away without even making any attempt to get acquainted.
There is also personal reasons for “fear of approach”, but every man, regardless of age t social status.
How to help men? How to push them to get acquainted?
Always watch your face!
Remember that the stone look, arrogance, arrogance or excessive concern on your face - repels.
Sometimes a man looks at you with the hope of catching your gaze, and you? What are you doing?
Some girls start to fuss, their eyes run in different directions or fall to the floor (and it becomes incomprehensible, maybe you fell asleep?).
Some express on the face a complete lack of emotion or arrogance ...
There are those who are beginning to give too many sexual signals: “Go, take me, finally! I have been looking at you for a long time myself ”- stroking their body parts or the nearest objects appears in their gestures, they themselves start to defiantly look at men, lick their lips, pull their hair, can speak first, etc.
All this repels men!
In the first and in the second case, the man thinks that he is definitely not needed and not interesting. In the third case, the man understands that he can take advantage of the situation, but then what to do with this girl. It is unlikely that she herself will lag behind.
What to do?
It’s enough for a woman to slightly look at a man and express her approval for acquaintance. You can coquettishly smile, look and express embarrassment, dropping your eyes for a while.
Then continue to look occasionally towards the man, so that he realizes that you are waiting for him to come up.
Smile again and again, show that you are pleased that he noticed you. You can nod, say hello, etc.
The main thing is to be open for communication!
If you decide to assume the right to meet first, then you lose some of your attractiveness and charm in the eyes of a man.
Why?
Because he ceases to feel and feel like a hunter, he did not fight for you, did not fight, even with himself. When a man is given everything too easily by the woman, she becomes less interesting or not interesting at all.
If you are searching, look around!
Do not miss the interested views!
Give your smile back!
Who knows, maybe your fate is sitting at the next table :)
Nata Stepina
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