What if I constantly fight with my husband?
You can often hear such an expression that "dear ones scold, only amuse themselves." However, regular quarrels in the family can do nothing good. There can be many reasons for this phenomenon. If you are increasingly asking the question: “What should I do if I constantly argue with my husband?”, Then it’s time to finally admit the existing problem and try to solve it peacefully. But where do you start? And how to fix the situation?
What do quarrels and contentions lead to?
The simplest rule in the family: "Be able to hear and listen to your partner." It is because of non-compliance with this rule that quarrels often begin.
As a result, both spouses stop listening to the other's opinion and respect his interests. They begin to defend each of their points of view and, as a result, regularly argue and quarrel. Hence the statements of women, like this: "We constantly quarrel with my husband over little things." At the same time, both spouses begin to resemble offended children, from whom the toy was taken away. Each of them stands his ground and does not intend to yield to the other.
If everything continues at the same pace, then both spouses will understand that they have absolutely nothing in common. The consequences of this are divorce, the division of property with all the ensuing consequences.
The main thing is to stop on time
If a husband and wife constantly argue, then at least one of them should definitely stop and take a sober look at the situation. Think carefully about how it all started and how your fight is going. If it was not possible to remember this, it is necessary to think about the fact that both partners are certainly the culprits of troubles in the family.
If, in your opinion, your husband started the quarrel, what prevented you from stopping on time? Why did you suddenly turn into a child and with a fierce fuse entered into an argument? You supported the disputant, which means that you are no less to blame.
It is possible that your spouse simply flared up. In this case, various factors can affect him, including unpleasant moments at work, lack of finance, and much more. Be smarter. Do not respond to a cry by raising your tone. Invite your spouse to calm down and look at the issue calmly. In this case, your tone should be balanced, and your voice should be calm. After that, many men come to their senses. Remember, the main thing is to stop in time, before saying what you shouldn't have said. And then you will no longer wonder why my husband and I are constantly fighting.
Try to find a compromise
Any negotiations, including those that take place between two disputing spouses, need a compromise. Sometimes it is not easy to find it, but it is necessary. For example, if you are arguing about who will pick up your kids from school or kindergarten, compromise and make a schedule. Your husband will do this on Mondays and Wednesdays, and you will do this on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And so that no one is offended, on Friday, a grandmother or grandfather will cope with this task. And then you will definitely not start a conversation with your friends with the phrase: "Girls, I constantly argue with my husband, how to fix the situation?"
What does the lack of compromise lead to?
In the absence of a compromise or a desire to look for it, each of the partners will do in spite of the other. For example, your husband will regularly stay late at work, because that's where he can get rid of your reproaches and whims. He will turn off the phone, spend more time with friends. And sometimes even to come far from sober. All this translates into a certain protest and a desire to get away from the unpleasant and tense situation in the family. As they say, a man should have a reliable rear at home. If he is not there, he will simply begin to return there less often, and over time, perhaps, he will stop altogether.
The wife, on the contrary, will become offended. Sometimes she will turn to her parents, relatives, and like-minded people for help. She will ask all of them: "We are constantly fighting with my husband, what to do?" Of course, each case is different. However, with this approach, your marriage is unlikely to last long. Take action and change the situation for the better.
How to fix the problem together?
In order to solve any problem, it is necessary to work together. For example, many ladies claim that their quarrels are purely financial in nature. From them you can hear something like the following: “We constantly quarrel with my husband over money. There are not enough of them. Low salary. We cannot buy and postpone anything, ”and so on. However, before you nag your husband and once again remind him of his small salary, think about what exactly you did in order to solve this problem. So how do you proceed?
First, talk to your husband. However, do not base your conversation on reproaches alone. Psychologists recommend using the hamburger tactic. Remember that a hamburger has two buns and one patty.
So, first you need to praise your husband, then scold a little (in moderation, of course), and then praise again. For example, you get something like the following: “Dear! You are so talented and smart. But the bosses don't appreciate you. Your salary is small, although you work seven days a week, and you do everything for three specialists. It is not right. Talk to management. Say it's time for your career. You have already grown from your position and are ready for responsibility, new obligations. Ask to raise you and increase your salary. You know how much I appreciate your courage, discretion and responsiveness. You will succeed, you'll see! "
Believe me, with this approach you will no longer need to look for answers to the question: “Tell me what to do? I constantly argue with my husband and do not know what to do! "
Do not try to remake anyone and look for solutions in a peaceful way
The most common mistake in family relationships is the desire for one partner to remake the other. Hence, mutual grievances and reproaches. But not a single person can be remade, of course, if he himself does not want it.
If you decide to take up the "education" of your husband, think about it - perhaps something is wrong with you. If you think that everything is in order with you, then for cardinal changes in the character of your spouse you should act gently and unobtrusively. And then from your vocabulary the catchphrase “I constantly quarrel with my husband”, which you often use when communicating with friends, will disappear forever from your vocabulary.
A simple example that many psychologists hear at the reception is that the husband often walks around the apartment in shoes, but his wife does not like it. What should you do in this case? Stop yelling at him. If he is so used to it, then talking in a raised voice will not help here. So, the selfish phrase “I want you not to walk around the apartment in shoes” can be easily replaced with “I would like our house to be clean and comfortable. Therefore, be kind, do not walk around the room in your shoes and appreciate my work. "
Communicate with each other more
Sometimes women make an unforgivable mistake - they are dissatisfied with something, but do not talk about the reason to their husband. Of course, you can expect your spouse to figure out why his other half is offended for years. As a rule, he does not even know what, in fact, the speech is about.
If something doesn't suit you, tell your spouse about it. However, this should not be done in the form of a claim - it is better to communicate gently and carefully, without touching him.
Pregnant: we fight constantly with my husband
Often women who are in an interesting position are prone to quarrels and mood swings. It's all the fault of an excess of hormones. Of course, if you have a loving and caring husband, he will understand exactly what your mood swings are connected with.
If the situation has escalated, and you cannot do anything about it and the scandals continue, try breathing exercises. It can help you relax, calm your thoughts, and even balance your emotions. Alternatively, a special yoga complex for pregnant women with elements of simple exercise and breathing is suitable.
Walk more outdoors. After all, there are alternative methods to deal with emotions. For example, psychologists advise singing, dancing or doing creative work (knitting, sewing, tinkering). And then your family will be quiet and peaceful.
