What to do and how to improve relationships on the verge of divorce
How to improve relations with your husband on the verge of divorce? Many married couples face a similar question. It happens that the relationship between husband and wife reaches a dead end, the only way out of which seems to be divorce. According to statistics, up to 80% of couples divorce in the first three years, then this percentage decreases to 60%. Creating a warm family climate is a task for both partners. Living together under one roof, one family means both spouses make a lot of effort to understand, be able to forgive and give in, take care of and love each other.
Another quarrel and another nagging feeling of emptiness and helplessness? How to improve relations with your husband on the verge of divorce, if already the thought of a possible breakup comes to mind as the only way to solve all problems. What reasons lead you to this conclusion? How often do you quarrel with your husband for no reason?? Let's figure out whether these problems are so terrible and hopeless, leading spouses to want to get a divorce. AND Is it possible to improve the situation?
Reasons that bring a family to the brink of divorce
Every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. Reasons why yesterday it was so hot people loving each other Today become almost enemies, a bunch of. Among them may be the following:
- Material and financial difficulties. Living in their parents' families before marriage, the spouses may not have experienced such problems. Having become a single family, young people sometimes have to give up their desires and periodically save money. But not everyone likes it.
- The onset of pregnancy and the birth of a baby. If before these joyful events the spouses lived only for each other, now their way of life has to be completely changed. Many new responsibilities, fatigue, material expenses
- Constant control and jealousy. It also happens that one of the spouses tries to completely control the life of his other half, mistakenly believing that he now has every right to do so. Painful, often unjustified jealousy also destroys relationships.
- Difficulties with employment and work. Any troubles at work, as well as the inability to find a place to earn money, also often affect the family climate.
Of course, this is not a complete list of problems that lead to family breakdown. But whatever the reason, family is worth fighting for if you feel that you are still loved and desired by this man.
Prevent divorce
There are many recommendations that will help maintain peace and tranquility in the family, will preserve love and respect spouses to each other. Simple and uncomplicated actions will save the marriage and will not allow the husband and wife to think about divorce.
Don't accumulate grievances
No matter how much you want to sulk and nurse your grievances against your spouse, you shouldn’t do this. Squash the capricious child inside you, who loves to accumulate grievances and lives by the principle: “When I leave, then you will regret it!”
You shouldn’t be offended by your husband’s dissatisfaction., to his grumbling. Of course, it can be difficult to tolerate petty nagging, but your spouse is also human. Like you, he may be not in a good mood due to illness when at work there are problems and emergency situations, for other reasons. In such situations, do not give in to emotions and try not to lose your temper. Let go of bad thoughts and resentments to your other half.
And most importantly: agree with your husband to ask each other for forgiveness when emotions and discontent subside.
There is no relationship without forgiveness. And try to see more good in your spouse. After all, you chose him, which means he can’t be bad.
If you quarrel, try saying “I love you”
There are no families without quarrels and conflicts. Of course, this does not mean ugly scandals with assault, this is nonsense. Such spouses have no future. And here showdown, according to psychologists, helps to find the truth in some controversial issues, to understand and feel each other more. You just need to remember that a quarrel is not for long, that you also continue to love and respect each other, even if they have now switched to higher tones.
Try it for a moment in the heat of a quarrel stop and say “I love you!”, even if it is very difficult and completely different words are asked for on the tongue. And when your emotions calm down, you will tell yourself “thank you” more than once for being such a strong person. Perhaps this will even stop the conflict, because it is very difficult to say something offensive when they confess their love to you.
Be polite to each other
Remember that slogan that hung on every bus a few years ago: “Be mutually polite!” These words are better suited to the relationship between spouses. After all, it is politeness helps hearts respond towards each other. Tender words, words of gratitude, respectfully expressed requests, attentiveness, compliments and praise will help a family facing the problem of divorce to weigh everything again and make the right decision.
Change your habits
They say that everyday life kills love. But nothing like this undermines relationships, How routine. Established habits, boring family rituals, lack of novelty can lead to a desire to break out of such a boring circle. Just yesterday an attractive and cheerful young wife turns into a sad, tired woman.
Don't allow yourself and your family sink to the bottom of boredom and despondency. Try something new: have fun dinners with friends, weekend trips to theaters and museums, New Year's Eve in some unusual style. Find a new hobby for the whole family, for example, putting together puzzles or cutting with a jigsaw. Or maybe, instead of the usual all-inclusive holiday on the Turkish coast, you decide to go kayaking on mountain rivers on vacation?
Let's go to bed together
Time before bed - only yours. The worries of the day are over, the children are sleeping, now you can not only wish each other pleasant dreams, but also talk a little in bed. Talk about the events of the past day, discuss, draw some conclusions. Communicate with each other confidentially, because it is not without reason that they say that a husband and wife are a single whole.
Your spouse is the closest person, and therefore share your experiences, fears, and joys with him. And don’t forget about kisses: at night, in the morning, and in general, as often as possible.
Respect the personal space of others
To maintain love and respect in the family, leave yourself and your husband personal space. It is in the first months of marriage that you want to be with your spouse 24 hours a day. Later, people who respect each other understand that sometimes it is necessary stay alone with your affairs, thoughts, concerns, and try to provide their half with such an opportunity.
Personal space includes personal belongings. You shouldn’t check your husband’s phone and email, or turn out his pockets and wallet. Mistrust causes resentment.
But here, too, moderation must be observed. Trust and personal space does not mean that spouses should be constantly apart. While leaving yourself time for your own relaxation, do not make your husband felt lonely and abandoned. And then love and respect for each other will remain in your family life for a long time.
What to do and how to improve relationships on the verge of divorce
The ability to maintain harmony in the family, listen and hear the other side, give in and make compromises, give away, asking nothing in return- this is a lot of work, and two people have to work in a family. Repairing a relationship that has reached the point of divorce is even more difficult. But the main thing is to remember that this family was created by loving people.
Admit your mistakes
The age-old question "Who is guilty?" becomes a kind of stumbling block in many families. Usually during quarrels, each conflicting party tries to prove that it is they who are right. But main question here is the one to which the classic tried to answer: "What to do?"
What can be done to prevent quarrels and conflicts from developing into constant tension in the family, destroying respect, mutual understanding, and love? It’s no secret that many couples live for years in a protracted state of war, killing your health, the health and peace of mind of your children. Maybe we should admit that both sides are to blame for a protracted conflict and not childishly shift all responsibility onto the spouse? Try it sincerely ask for forgiveness and sit down at the negotiating table?
