How to avoid a divorce from your wife or husband in court or just in front of yourself?
Everything always starts with love. Big, huge, fiery. But here a few years or months pass, a lot of things happen, both good and bad. And now the couple is on the verge of divorce. Bitter melancholy presses on the chest like a stone - why did it happen that the family was falling apart? Where and what went wrong? Why can't you just be happy? How to avoid divorce from a husband or wife? How to return what was at the beginning of the relationship?
The beginning, the starting point for every person who puts on a wedding ring for his chosen one in a solemn atmosphere and with witnesses in a church or in a registry office, is always the same. Probably, every person at such a moment is sure that a new family begins, a life together that will bring pleasure, happiness and joy.
But soon each of them is faced with reality: life in a couple is very difficult. An alien soul, as they say, is darkness. And, it often happens that even the person closest to us, with whom we share an apartment, life and bed, day after day, year after year, remains a mystery to us. Especially in conflict and problem situations.
At some point, the issue of divorce begins to hang over the family. And often for one in such a pair this message turns out to be just like a bolt from the blue. The other, on the contrary, has been thinking about a break for a long time, he simply does not know how to declare it. And here, at this new starting point, already towards parting, people again think: maybe this act is not right?
Maybe you should accept a divorce? But how to avoid a divorce if the relationship is hopelessly damaged, and each pair has a lot of stones in the bosom against each other?
There is an answer to this question. And it's not that complicated. But let's sort it out in order ... the reasons for divorce and how and for whom it looks like.
Wife or husband wants a divorce! - sounds like a bolt from the blue
The fact that all people are different is confirmed in practice by any couple of people who decide to get married. Because already from the first days of living together, these very differences begin to crawl out literally in everything and everywhere. And it seems that they are completely chaotic and it is impossible to foresee them. But this is not so - through system-vector thinking (author - Yuri Burlan), today we understand that there are only 8 vectors and it is their presence in a person that determines his character, desires and whole destiny.
It is through system-vector psychology in each family that it is easy to determine who takes what position and how they behave. For example, for a person with an anal vector, the news of a divorce sounds like a bolt from the blue. "The wife filed for divorce! Why?" - he asks a question to his best friend, writes on the forum, is interested in the issue in the specialized literature. Of course, he himself is tired of his wife and he has a lot of claims against her, but to be like this - a divorce - in his understanding, this is something simply incredible. Women with an anal vector also find themselves in the same situation: at one “wonderful” moment they find out about their husband’s constant infidelities, and then they are faced with the fact that the husband demands a divorce.
For the anal man, the very fact that his family is on the verge of divorce is like a pillory. Such a message from a partner is very painful for him and he simply refuses to believe that this could happen to him. Especially if the family already has children. Anal people are often loyal and caring, they don’t drink and don’t go out, so they often look for the reasons for divorce in a partner, and not in themselves: “Why does she demand a divorce? I don’t understand anything ...”
It is the anal people in every couple who try to keep the family together no matter what and ask themselves the question "How to avoid divorce from husbands or wife?". But, unfortunately, instead of looking for a real answer to this question, they will wallow in a huge number of memories of past relationships and resentments, large or small. They begin to reproach their partner, verbally humiliate him, try to sort things out. But it doesn't lead to anything. Because their partner, who is always opposite to them in terms of properties, is a person with other vectors. For example, skin.
Tired of the same thing: I want to change something in my life, but I'm afraid of divorce!
Very often in modern families, a person with a skin vector becomes a couple for an anal person. Between them at the beginning of the relationship there is a strong attraction, and this is not surprising, because this is a very harmonious couple.
But the problem is that, unlike a person with an anal vector, a dermatologist, on the contrary, is just a little bit - ready to break off relations and leave. This is due to his special desires given by nature: he wants changes, his character cannot stand monotony. Such a life is boring and insipid for a skin person. And he is especially discouraged if he has no changes in anything: he works at a monotonous job, at home he is forced to do the same thing, and so for years.
In the end, the skinner begins to think about changes, such as divorce. But, being by nature very economical, and therefore cautious, the skin person also asks himself the question: "How to avoid a divorce from a husband or wife?" And then he makes such a mistake: instead of taking actions himself to realize his desires, he also begins to delve not into himself, but into the shortcomings of his partner. Why does he love everything the same and traditional so much? Why do we go on vacation to the same place? Why are there no changes and changes (implying that they must come from a partner)? But the problem is that the anal person is not even aware of such desires of his soul mate, a person with a skin vector. Therefore, he will never be able to satisfy them.
And so these two sit, mired in complete misunderstanding and squabbles. Each would like the other to change. But this is impossible: an oak cannot become a bush, and a fish cannot turn into a bird. People are different and the best thing we can do is to understand the other.
We are too different emotionally: how to avoid divorce?
There are thousands of such couples that are initially well suited to each other. Their desire for a divorce is always due to an increased demand for a partner - they say, he must change, because I can no longer live like this, but I like it this way and that way.
For example, in a pair where one person has a visual vector, and the other person has a sound vector, everything is not always in order either. Although this couple is very harmonious, without fully understanding each other, the visual and sound person will conflict, which can also lead to divorce.
So, a visual person, being by nature very emotional, open and sociable, wants the same answer from his partner in the family. But the sound person is different by nature: he is an introvert, withdrawn and silent. He cannot give an emotional response in principle. Moreover, for him, too persistent emotionality on the part of a husband or wife, a repulsive and unpleasant factor - this knocks him out of his thoughts, distracts him from concentrating on his work. If such people do not find the answer to the question "How to avoid divorce?", Then they will definitely disperse.
How to avoid a divorce from your wife or husband in court or just in front of yourself?
In fact, nature has already taken care of creating a couple - it has given attraction between two strangers. But then - the work of each of the couple. And very often, in the vast majority of normal couples, the answer to the question "how to avoid divorce?" lies in the same place as the answer to the question "how to get used to each other?". And for this, a small thing is enough, to stop blaming your partner, once a beloved person, for all the sins, but to delve into yourself, your own roots and subconscious. It is there that the answers to all questions lie.
You should not spend a lot of energy and immediately start self-digging and self-flagellation. It is not right. In a couple, no one is to blame for anything. The reason for this is that each person in a couple is fundamentally different from the other. In the beginning, until the age of three, we are still held together by sexual attraction. What's next? We must build relationships ourselves, which means starting to be more attentive to the desires of our partner (the real ones, and not those that we ourselves attribute to him, and then we are offended that he did not like it, because we tried so hard).
But in fact, it is very difficult to understand a loved one on your own. Only a rare number of people, on a whim, discover the ability to do this - through a huge,
