How to stop harassing yourself if a guy communicates with an ex, and in what cases it is worth sounding the alarm

Good afternoon. I want to ask you for advice. My boyfriend and I lived together for 1.5 years and then had a very strong fight, almost to the point of parting. I cheated on him, it was an accident of which I am very sorry. I ran after him for a very long time, asked for forgiveness, in every possible way found a reason for communication. He forgave me, but not right away. Now I found out that he communicates with his ex. He didn't say anything to me, because I will upload a scandal and a hysteria. I don’t know what to do, please advise me something

Yes, I react to all this very violently. He communicates with his ex, because he cannot do otherwise, tk. her parents and his relatives communicate and he often intersects with her. But he also says that they figured out everything among themselves, that they will no longer be together and I have nothing to worry about. But I cannot calmly react to it. I'm afraid of losing him. And now it seems to me that he constantly communicates with her, although he promised me not to communicate with her anymore. In general, I am scared and I am very scared. And also not a fortune teller guessed that we would not be with him for a long time and would soon disperse. And I don't want it so much and I live constantly in fear since the day we measured it.

He told me that he didn't want to torture me anymore and said that he had no feelings for me. We did not see each other for 5 days, during these days we almost did not communicate and he says that he didn’t get bored at all and he doesn’t feel drawn to me. And the biggest problem is that I am now starting to compare everyone with him and I can’t do anything. I love him very much, but he is now communicating with his ex and wants to go back to being gay.

Good day! This is my first time in such a situation, so I decided to contact you. I am 26, the young man is 25.
On January 8, we decided to live together and started looking for a rented one-room apartment (since he rents a room, and I live with my mother). Talking about family, children, etc. A feeling of complete idyll…. and on the 9th he comes home from work one day, calls back and disappears. I can’t help but get through, don’t sign up for 2 days. Then his uncle calls and asks not to disturb the guy for 2-3 weeks. And he secretly says the reason: his ex with his mother came to his house (room !!).

I am shocked ... he answered my calls and sms only once in a week: “at the moment I have no time for relationships. Sorry. Let's confine ourselves to communication for now ... "(c)

And I sit in bewilderment ... I don't understand why she came, why he let Her in, why he stopped communicating with me, why such a strange time (2-3 weeks)

The fact of the matter is that he told me that he wanted to come to the house where a delicious dinner, a beloved woman and a warm, homely atmosphere were waiting for him. He himself took the initiative to find a rented apartment. He did not communicate with his ex for a whole year! They parted on his initiative (she betrayed him and non-Russian, although they were together for 3 years and it was going to the wedding. They already communicated with families, etc.) and he left for Moscow, began life from 0.

I think, more precisely, I can only guess that they came to "huddle" him. They found out for sure that the man rented himself a room in Moscow, provides for himself, sends money to his mother. We thought that means there is money and must be returned. It's my opinion.

I know that he is certainly kind and cannot say no. But here they were manipulated and told, like they are going to Moscow for the treatment of their mother, and renting a hotel or apartment is expensive, they will not cope, so they asked him to. And he let such a fool go.

Now I don’t know what’s going on there…. Why it wasn’t possible to put a frame on them (live for the first time, then rent a hostel or something like that), and most importantly…. What is happening there, that he isolated me from life! ?

I constantly think about him and about this situation, thereby winding myself up even more….

Good day! I have a problem, my husband constantly communicates with his ex-woman, who can't wait for everything when we will get back together and he will return to her. She provokes me in every possible way. I even left him on this basis, but every time he brings me back with tears in his eyes and swears that he does not need her and they do not communicate. As a result, I again find out that all this continues, I do not know whether there is intimacy between them or not, but I have lost confidence in him. I decided to file for divorce, left him, but he still communicates with her, and again, he never confesses to me and wants to save the family. Can I change it or is divorce a real solution?

Elena thank you for responding, it is very important for me. Every time he comes to reconcile with me, we calmly talk and I explain to him how offensive and painful it is to me, and that by doing so he gives her hope for a renewal of the relationship. And every time he agrees with me, but some time passes and everything continues again. The most offensive thing is that he tells her about our relationship, and advises on important issues for our family, and for him she is an authority and he listens to her opinion. My a priori is not correct and is not taken into account. In addition, not long ago, he raised his hand at me, because I slander them, and passed our conversation with her to her 3 (How can this be somehow corrected?

Hello, I will write everything from the beginning again. I need a lot of help from you. We lived with a guy for 2 years together, and before that we met for another year. Then we parted, it was very painful, it was hard to go through. We parted because he said he didn’t love me and didn’t want to continue something. And a month later, he proposed to his first ex-girlfriend, whom he had met before me. 3 months have passed since the breakup, he has been writing to me for more than a month and says that he loves. Can't live without me. He said that he would not cancel the wedding, but he would not live with her, immediately after the wedding he would divorce and wants to be with me. I want to too, but I'm scared, I'm scared. But I love him and I want him to come back to me. I am now 21, he is 25 years old.

No, the bride does not know anything, he simply says that he does not want to cancel everything, since everything has been paid for and his parents will not forgive him for this. He cheated on his fiancee with me. And this was not accidentally realized. He said that he wants it, wants to be with me. But I'm afraid and all my family are against it, but I love him and I can't say no when he reaches out to me

Hello. I have such a problem: my husband communicates with his ex, hiding from me and arguing that they have friendly relations, just a little warmer. They lived together for 5 years, he gets along well with her family and with her child, parents, etc. The gap occurred on the basis of the abortion she had done, he could not forgive such a thing, they have no children in common. I met, began to live together, six months later he began to communicate with her, lie to me, sit with her in common companies, when I was at home and waited for him, after which I became pregnant, and even throughout my pregnancy, he periodically communicated with her, saw , I knew about this from the detailed calls made, before giving birth I promised that I would not communicate with her, nevertheless it stopped only for six months and now it all started again. She calls him, she allows herself to talk to me in a disgusting tone, with arrivals, obscenities, etc. without betting on anything, but I'm actually a legal wife, and who is she ??? Can't calm down. Whatever it was, he makes contact with her, continues to communicate, for the most part she becomes the organizer of this. He tells me that there is nothing like that, that just warm friendly relations, she calls on business, if suddenly something happened or asks for help with something, no more that he loves me and the child, he does not need her, but how to prove to a person that this is more than just not pleasant to me. She can call at night and throw it off, then saying that something is wrong with the phone, well, what is it, is it normal? For a long time, he compared me with her, poked at some of my shortcomings, said, but here she is, she is like that, etc., although it was in a state of alcoholic intoxication, I was also tired of this whole situation, please advise, how to be : ((

Good evening. I have a problem. My man hangs out with an ex-girlfriend. They have an age difference of 27 years. They parted very hard. He gave her a car for her birthday and she disappeared from his life. As it turned out later, she had a young lover in parallel. Half a year after breaking up, he met me. And our relations began to develop actively. The former appeared a year after the breakup (wrote on the Internet). Since that moment, for two years now, they have been communicating quite nicely, sincerely and romantically flirting. And I just can't understand WHY ?. And where is the elementary manhood? I was told when we met that his soul was torn to shreds, that he did not even want to remember that relationship. That she pumped a cloud of money out of him, etc. And now everything suits him. It turns out that he was able to forgive everything. I'm the woman he loves, and she's just a former lover.

He is here and there. We have been in a relationship for 3 years. And this situation continues for the last two. I repeatedly asked him to stop communicating with her. He said that she writes herself once a month, and he, as a decent person, cannot but answer. he also argued that she felt bad because their relationship had broken up, and he was fine with me. As a result, I am now radically asking to remove it. I really want to invite a man to call her in front of me, and ask that she never call, write, and in no way show the fact of her existence. I feel that I will.

I have just such an impression. Now I talked to him. He said that he had forgotten her a long time ago. He did not have any feelings for her, so he calmly communicates with her. If there were still feelings, he would of course have blocked her, because this is not fair to me ... and so on. I don’t believe him. I believe that if a person is betrayed and forgotten, he cannot appear. All contacts have been deleted, and even if the other side insists, writes and sends a photo, no attention is paid to this. Personally, I would do just that. The betrayed person dies for me. I will not invite him on a date to drink coffee, I will not send a photo of the renovation to show how everything is cool in my life. But he can. It's a pity. For some reason I do not believe his arguments at all.

pushing is really useless. He only accuses me of not trusting him. There are pluses that hold in a relationship. But it seems that the delusional situation will soon outweigh the situation and I'll leave .. Doesn't understand. He will remain in his opinion that He did everything for me, and I offended him with my mistrust. It's a pity. An adult man and unique in his profession. And in a relationship there are such seams.

I watched for a very long time. and the nerves are not iron. Recent events and arguments on my part: I explained to him (I hope it got there) that his behavior, communication and stories about events in life is, first of all, a blow to me. That girl formed the opinion that I was (kind of literary). For I am doing repairs, taking care of, helping, and he calls her “to drink coffee” all the same! And this is an elementary feminine logic. This situation does not suit me at all ... He said that he blocked it everywhere, deleted it and “let's put up with it”. But it's hard to believe the words. I have no facts that this is true. Maybe he just consoled me not to leave. Now I'm resting at home, he is at home. I'll see what happens next. If I understand that I have lied, then I will finally leave.

Hello everyone, I did not think that I would become one of those who would be depressed by the "connection with the former" (especially since she is in another city). I have such a story at the initial stage and until it has grown into something else, help me resolve the situation. We meet for half a year, he has been divorced for 2-3 years already, I knew that he was talking to her on business (discharge from home), I reacted appropriately to this, now I find out that they congratulate each other on their birthdays, since February 23 she's his and now on the nose on March 8 .. I was somehow indignant and expressed my point of view that it was not right, that the past would interfere with the future, to which I heard that I was inventing everything for myself, winding it up and what there is nothing wrong with that. I don’t like to press, but I’m not going to treat me like a pig, I won’t allow my feelings. How can I talk softly on such a sensitive topic for me? p.s. I'm not afraid to lose, self-confident, self-sufficient, but there are life rules that cannot be violated

Hello Elena, yes, I decided to watch this all, and we do not live together yet, so I do not know what is happening behind my back. I believe him because he assures me to be calm. I will limit our meetings with him

Just according to my feminine concepts, I want a man to reach out to me, and not I constantly show the initiative in certain situations. And when I take the initiative, I return to his past, which I think holds him back ..

We have been living with my husband for 3 years together, we have a child. The problem is that when we started to live together we agreed that we would stop communicating with our former spouses. But since he has a child from his first marriage, he is 13 years old, then he communicates directly with him, and his wife can write or call, if something happened, he fell, broke his leg, etc. So, for my part, I fulfilled the conditions and clearly explained to my ex-husband that I did not need to call and write. And he somehow did not explain, apparently, to his ex-wife. And when I saw their correspondence, showed discontent, then he began to erase the messages so that I would not see, and he told me that he did not communicate with her. What does that mean?

Hello! Please tell me, with a man in a relationship for 2.5 years, I recently found out that I had met with an ex-girlfriend (I was the reason for the breakup of their relationship), the messages were all deleted, when talking with me he says that he does not see anything like that in their meeting, they decided " meet ”and communicate, find out how things are going. What would you advise in this situation? (The ex-girlfriend has a boyfriend).

Hello! I have such a situation, I am 21, he is 25, we have known each other since childhood, but only now we realized that we like each other, we have been dating for a couple of months. But he hangs out with his ex-girlfriend. They correspond, her messages constantly catch my eye, I even called twice, he of course answers her, behaves naturally, but I feel the tension in him from this situation. Emotionally, I am tormented by all this, but he lived with this girl for 2 years under the same roof and I perfectly understand that I will never be able to erase her from his memory. So what to do? Talk to him? I know my worth, I love and respect myself, I care about my boyfriend, I need him and I do not intend to share him with someone! And one more thing, he's not trying to have sex with me. Although he may be serious about me and does not want to rush, but based on the current situation, I am afraid to draw positive conclusions. Conversations, caresses, kisses, everything is there, but I feel this barrier .. please, tell me, advise how to be ...

Catherine:

Hello! Need help, advice. We have been dating a guy for 4 months, everything is fine, sometimes I take offense at him, I am very touchy, but I put up right away. Calls me to live with her, but I'm afraid to move so early, and we didn't tell each other that we love each other. I know two of his friends (a guy and a girl, they are in a relationship, but now everything is confusing and she wants to part with him), they all once studied together, he communicates well with this girl, she tells him a friend. And then after the weekend, I went into his old phone, on which we took pictures at the weekend (we went to another city where I wanted to visit) and my curiosity made me go to SMS, I opened a three-year-old correspondence with this girl and found that they had a sexual relationship for a while when her boyfriend was in the army. It became very unpleasant for me, tk. I am a very jealous girl, they deceived both that guy in the army, and now they continue to communicate. In the evening I asked my boyfriend if he had met her, he said yes, and that it was before she met her boyfriend, I said that I had read their correspondence, and that by the date she already had a boyfriend, then he confessed. When I said why he had lied for the first time, he said that this was his worst secret, that he didn’t want anyone to know. He reassured me that they are now just having friendly communication, but I am very worried, because once they were drawn to each other, and in general I am worried that this speaks of his infidelity. He tells me that he has me and he doesn't need anyone. I asked to show the correspondence with her in contact, for the last 4 months, but it was deleted (possibly deleted so that I would not read it accidentally, because I spend the night with him often). He says that he cleaned up all the correspondence with whom he met before me a long time ago. And I'm worried that they can still flirt like this by correspondence, or suddenly what they wrote about me and compared with her. We spend a lot of time together, but I'm still very worried and don't know how to believe him now.

Good day! I discovered a correspondence between my husband and one of his ex-girlfriends, they met in their youth, 20 years ago. At first it was just a conversation, then declarations of love began on both sides. I'm in a trance! We have been living together for 16 years, we have gone through a lot together. Married for love. We have two kids. I do not know how to behave with my husband now, which line of behavior to choose and, in general, whether it is worth talking or what to say ... Please advise.

Hello, Elena. Thanks for the answer. I agree, perhaps such a correspondence is a state of nostalgia, but it can develop into something else, especially if the opposite side is ready for it. The main thing for me now is how to behave.
The husband is a difficult person by nature (fire sign), but reliable and open. At the beginning of family life there were clashes, mainly over trifles, but then I realized that it was better to remain silent, and he cools down, and we come to a mutual decision. I cannot suspect him, because always together whenever possible, we rest together.
We talk about everything openly. At first, I often reproached my husband (if something didn’t suit him), which didn’t make him happy. But I understood and changed my tactics to requests and dialogue. Our relationship is probably ice and fire. I read that rams either love or hate. (56 shades of gray are definitely not about them! :-)) I understand intellectually that we are dear to him, and he is to us. He never gave me reasons to be jealous, and neither did I (although by nature he is very jealous, and unreasonably).
I am sure that he is not going to give up everything (and there is something to give up) and go to raise other people's children (her, from two marriages). He told me that he could not marry a woman with someone else's child. I can't choose tactics. If this is left to chance, I will annoy myself by constantly thinking about it and checking the correspondence. Keep your finger on the pulse? And if it goes further, then take action? Which ones? I know from the experience of others that it is better to cut such a relationship in the bud! (I mean correspondence). I already thought I might call her. He is far from being a fool, if I say everything that I think and know about it, he will also be afraid to lose everything. Shock therapy would probably be helpful, but I'm afraid I can't stand it myself. I am soft by nature (but not soft). I can't talk to anyone about it. And why, how many people - so many opinions. Need a look and expert advice.

I ask for your advice. The young man met with a girl for 3 years before me, his first love can be said, she was the initiator of the break, changed and communicated with another. He was ready to forgive, but she left for another. After a couple of months, he started dating me, we have been together for 3.5 years, we live together, he introduced me almost immediately to my mother (this was not the case with her) and were going to get married in a year. But here the other day I see that he is in correspondence with his ex, naturally offensive, a scandal, there is nothing criminal in the correspondence, but the fact itself. I don’t know what to do, he repents, says that he made a mistake, that he’s a fool, he stumbled, that it will not happen again. What should I do in this situation? Forgive and live on? I love him of course, I will not be able to part. Of course, I explained to him that it was unpleasant for me, and so on.

Victoria:

Hello! My husband and I have been together for 8 years, of which we have been married for 3 years, and have lived in a civil marriage for 5 years. 2 years ago I saw his correspondence with an ex-girlfriend, he broke up with her, she cheated on him. From the correspondence I realized that he was helping her with money, she was sending him intimate photos. I threw a scandal, threatened to divorce, but as I communicated and communicates, only now I hide the correspondence. But I found out again. Scandal. He says that this is just communication. That they just align, rewrite, there is nothing wrong with that. I asked him, what if I communicate with my ex? He says communicate .. In general, I do not know what to do. 6 years of quiet life and 2 years of simple hell.

good day, Elena!
I ask you to help with advice. I met a young man who was in a relationship at that time (sluggish and with extinct love, according to him). We had more flirting and an easy relationship with him. We began to meet, after a while I realized that I wanted a serious relationship with him, and I do not plan to share with anyone. She offered to make a choice. He cried, said that he wanted to be with me, but he felt sorry for that girl, because once they were on good terms, and he has no idea what he would say to her, how he would say that despite the fact that lately they rarely saw each other and often swore, for her it will be like a butt on the head. At that moment I felt like the last brute. I say, well, since such tears, such torment, it means there are feelings, I will not insist and stand between you, and I will not dictate what to do to you. He says no, understand me, support me, I honestly want to be with you, I don't need anyone else. Okay, then I say I'll wait, part. I asked for time so that it would be all calmly smoothly, without haste. Some time has passed, I see the relationship is not over, she calls, he does not take. Then I gave a specific deadline, a date on which he or she should give an answer. And from that date, if she calls or writes, I will tell her not to call or write, and since he was afraid for her mental state, and did not want radical measures, he said that he would decide everything by the date. The date came, he came, said that everything, there is a point, that's just the reason for the separation he said in my opinion is completely ridiculous, that somehow everything is not right ... I do not want ... other views on life ... and that you are not ready to move for my sake to another city. I didn't like it very much then, but I decided to trust the man and let the situation go. Time passed and again the call from her, he does not take, drops, mutes the sound, hides, runs with the phone, does not let go. I make a decision, I say everything, there is no need to come anymore - until you put an end to it, you will not convey to the person adequately, and she will stop calling. Because in his opinion, he said everything, and she does not receive feedback, but she calls and writes and cries endlessly into his receiver. He left. A couple of days later I collected all-all of her things (they did not live, but she stayed at his house, before us), and took her to her. That's all. Returned home, began to live again. But the phone is on silent again and is always under his control. And what do you think the call is again - |) He drops. I insist on showing the correspondence - like all the letters from her, there is no answer from him. We make up. And just recently, a message comes in at night. " . do you remember how we dreamed about this ... about that, remember? let's not ruin everything! Come on? " Half a night we have a showdown with him, scandals, I have to go to work, neither he nor she needs. That makes it even more offensive. In the morning, not a word, not a half word, I say show your dialogue, says there is no, deleted it. Okay, show that you deleted what is empty, I will not show it. , the conflict is settled, -no-, well then you give me a field for imagination, then point-he silently leaves the room without showing. Well, it became clear to me that there is a correspondence, and from both sides, maybe there is no relationship, since we are together all the time, but they did not stop communicating. This time, I decide to end it all. And so without any tears, hysterics, torment at all, I just coldly and deliberately make a decision. That's all. And to be honest, the head really got the better of the heart and even there was no torment. The mind weighed everything and thought that it was not necessary to climb, interfere, and should be left alone, the relationship would not work on a broken heart and the ruins of a living relationship. But in the evening he came to just talk calmly without hysterics. I didn’t mind, because I wasn’t even afraid to change my mind when I saw him. He said that he didn’t love her, that he simply had a very gentle character, that he was afraid that she would do something to herself, that he had never had such a thing with me, that he simply didn’t believe his happiness that he had met me, he wanted children from me, wants me to be his wife, but she writes endlessly, and he keeps his finger on the pulse and is afraid to put her on the black list, which is not so beautiful, that he is the initiator of the gap and she did not expect, and he does not have right now it hurts so much to hurt her. I'm already tired to be honest. We drove home in silence, I just wanted to be alone, to be with myself. Because this is my first time, and I just don’t know how to react correctly, press… release…. On the way, he received an SMS from her of an intimate nature, about her fantasies about him, gave him a phone number, I read everything, everything, there is a feedback ... there is! although so dry, not emotional, but there is (((((((((((((I'll call you back ... I'll dial a little later ... no, I keep our memory ... we'll talk later. She moved for him to our city. He communicates with his family, he does not interfere with this in correspondence ... he even supports her aspiration, says that there is nothing terrible about it, talk. I’m tired. Proving, understanding, insisting and swearing even tired (I got home, asked to leave me alone, he said - I won’t give up one, I was with me, put it on a black list everywhere, wrote in front of me that I wouldn’t write to him anymore, and that he had a new life. I begged not to quit, to give a second chance, I said I'll think about it. In the morning, hiding the phone again, as if to protect my nerves, she says already across the throat and he has no more strength to talk about her, to swear, which is enough already. I'm confused, is this going to continue all the time? Or do you need to pull yourself together and leave? Or just endure this time of withdrawal, parting, resentment together, he also speaks hard for him, it is very difficult for me, everything is so twisted. I don’t even know (Or if he’s so indecisive, I’ll already write to her (but I like this option least of all for many reasons), but also as an option.

Thank you very much, I found it! I decided to try to build a strong relationship. I went to my parents for 3 days, took everything, thought it over. I see his sincere remorse and regret for the current situation. I hope this was definitely the last stormy splash that opened his eyes and me. I will do everything in my power to maintain these relations, and after this situation they become even stronger. Tomorrow we will meet after 3 days of separation (earlier we had not been apart for more than half a day). Miss you ... and he writes that too. I will be grateful for your kind, professional advice for the future and specifically for the meeting, in order to record this sad experience, leave it in the past and certainly not repeat it in the future.

Hello. Please help me figure out the situation. In a relationship, 1, 5 years. I am 12 years older than him. The difference is visible, but not striking. He likes older women. Dating first. The reason for the break with the other halves was us. I have been married for 8 years. He lived with a girl for 5 years. Then he began to live in two houses. Me and my parents. In connection with work .. I live in another city and he has a long way to go, so he sometimes stays with his parents .. We agreed not to communicate with the former. I have two children, this is not a hindrance for him. But he often said that he wanted a child. Due to his health, pregnancy did not occur. And unexpectedly for the two of us, the test showed two stripes. We were very happy, I had never seen him so happy. But literally a few days later, he began to doubt that something would be wrong with the child (of course there are some fears). I explained to him that pregnant women undergo a lot of tests for fetal developmental abnormalities, but so far we have not come to a consensus. But the matter is further aggravated by the fact that he continues to communicate with his ex. At first he said that give time and everything will be fine. He swears his love to me. And recently we had a conversation. I expressed my displeasure before, but then I began to put pressure on him and said that it was time to stop communicating with her. And he confessed to me that he could not do anything and it seemed to him that he loved both of us. I kicked him out, he left, but literally half an hour later he arrived and began to say that he could not live without me, that he loved. She dreams of living with me all my life. I also love him very much and forgave him. I decided to see what happens next. How can I make sure that he still makes his choice? I know for sure what is not cheating on me, at least for the moment.

Good evening!
I have such a situation, I broke up with my ex for a year already. In the fall, she began communicating with the MCh, he also parted with his own, but at that time they had a gap of 2-3 months, we talked with him, went to the cinema, etc. but he said that he would be at home with his mother, and then sleep. As a result, I saw their joint photos with my ex on New Year's Eve, I was very upset, since I had already managed to fall in love, but I did not get lost and spent it with friends. Then she left the country, and he did not even write or call from January 31 to January 3.
I could not resist wrote the first (there was a reason, he had my phone case, and I wanted to pick it up) to which he calmly reacted and said yes we will meet and I will give it to you, but after I asked him how he met ng, he replied that it was just good ... to which I sent him a screen photo of where they were already at his house together ... and said that I felt good with him, but we will leave it good last year. He didn’t react very well, he didn’t like my answers - well, that’s fine, and when I said that I would take him away and this would be the end of our communication. As a result, we agreed to meet on the same date, I could not, then for three days in a row he could not and finally we meet with him (when he froze me for three days, I said let him throw out the cover, I don’t need it, he asked me - so it was an excuse for a meeting?! but forget about me, he said no, everything is there. Then I ask him if you want a chance, I said I want it, then I asked him if you need this chance, I said you need it. Since then, they began to communicate very closely with him, spend more time together, again a cafe, cinema, etc., introduced him to friends. He said - see how close you are to me, I introduce you to friends, I really appreciated it. When I don’t come to him, he says that my mother asks about me. But today I found pictures where he is in a common company with his ex, sitting next to him, this photo is just at the end of January and now there are suspicions that he is communicating with her, although I do not pretend to be jealous, throwing tantrums is not mine ... I know what to think ... I fell head over heels in love with him ...

Hello, I have been communicating with MCH for over a month. Recently spent a weekend together, a lot of emotions, everything was perfect. He introduced me to friends, business partners, introduced me to everyone as his girlfriend. But then I find out that he is going to visit the relatives and friends of the ex, respectively with her presence (they broke up 4 months ago, says that he told her that he stopped loving her, they have no future, etc.) During his stay there he wrote to me only a couple of messages, did not even say good night and good morning today, the situation is heating up me, I do not want to be deceived later. But I also think it is not entirely appropriate to present something, because we know so little ... Tell me what to do?

Good afternoon, I would like to hear your opinion after reading the article about a man's communication with his ex-wife.
We live abroad, I am 24, he is 30. His ex-wife is 42; they have a common daughter for 4 years.
The wife herself wanted to divorce him after she and her daughter could not successfully move to, at that time, her husband. I could not help her with work, and if I did find something, then she did not come back home, and she filed for divorce. She met her young man at the stage of divorce, initially she perceived their communication as the norm, since there is a common child and financial issues. He told me that she knew about me, she was okay with everything, that they were friends.
But, the further into the forest, the more firewood. Lately, I have been very jealous, his ex is terribly annoying. As it turned out, she is far from being an adult and intelligent woman. When I found out about our relationship, I married an oriental man who is 26 years old so that he could leave his country because he lives poorly there. She herself is now going with her daughter to him. At the weekend, my martyr calls up with my daughter and I can hear that the girl does not like me: my mother is turning against me. Also, by the tone of his ex, you can clearly hear that I am definitely unpleasant to her.
This whole situation is very upsetting to me, I can't understand whether the martyr loves me because he constantly calls and consults with her on all issues, says that her opinion is important to him and this is despite the fact that a person is either getting married to evil or a child It sets against me, so that our life would not be calm.
In general, the martyr introduced me to his friends, even to my mother. Although he did not introduce his girlfriend. It seems like he plans the future with me, says that he will not return to his ex and will not leave me, says that he loves.
Tell me how to be? Is it worth worrying about their communication? How to behave? Very annoying her influence on him. Affects him can also affect our relations in the future. I try to explain that I would listen to her less - it is perceived in shtik.
More likely, he wants her and her daughter to move here to us, so that they can get the opportunity to see the child. This is just as disturbing. Friends say that I am just comfortable for him at the moment and it is not clear how it will end. I asked him directly, she says that I am making up a lot of nonsense. And then it is really possible to find a place for yourself.
I sit here emotions in my soul and wait for the moment when she arrives and it becomes clear what and how.

Hello, Elena! I was 22 when 2 years ago I met a guy (he was 27 at that time), he said that he had a girlfriend who lives in another city. but we met a couple of times for coffee anyway. Then he left for the New Year holidays, as I understand it, to her. When I returned, we began to see each other more and more often. We already behaved like a couple, but I could not bear the fact that there was his girlfriend somewhere, I burst into tears and explained the situation. He said that he could not end the relationship with her over the phone and would part with her personally at Easter. According to him, their relationship was already too bad due to distance and other factors. After his parting with her, everything was like a fairy tale. Then he left a couple of times to his parents. The first bell was when I accidentally found a printed photo of him with her from a concert, which was after the official parting just when he was leaving for his "parents". I can’t show anything, because in fact I found it in his things, which is not good. Then I saw that she was writing to him. She said I didn't like it. A few months later I saw that she wrote to him again. Says it doesn't mean anything. And now 2 years have passed since we know each other, but friends and parents do not speak about the date because at that time he was still on the other. And I almost forgot everything, because he does so much for me, literally wears it in his arms, but reminders of his ex put me out of action completely ... and even knowing about those photos that I illegally found. We talked about it a thousand times, he says how much he loves me and never loved me so much before, and I can see it. But in my heart it is still somehow unpleasant. What is it? Self-doubt or something serious? Every time he picks up the phone, I think that she is texting him. Thanks for the answer!