How, according to psychologists, to improve relations with a husband or wife on the verge of divorce
But before you try to mend your relationship with your husband on the verge of divorce, make sure that you and your family really need it. The fact is that sometimes between spouses they reach a dead end so deep that there is simply no point in getting out of it. If you are convinced that it is still possible to save your family and it makes sense, it is time to fight to the end. But if your feelings for each other have long faded, and the relationship is more like a neighbor's, you should think about the advisability of maintaining such a cell of society.
- Offer to discuss the situation calmly, without mutual reproaches and raising your voice. If the spouse agrees to this, you should talk with him about what does not suit you and him in the relationship that you have at the moment. Let each of you tell about everything that worries him, what has hurt and accumulated over the years. Explain to your spouse what you would like to change in your relationship, as well as how you see a way out of this situation. Have your husband do the same. The main thing in this conversation is to remember that its main task is to establish relations, and not vice versa, summing up their results. Even if you do not agree with your partner's opinion, try to listen and understand what exactly he wants from you. Perhaps this act will help save the marriage.
- Admit your own mistakes. Only a strong-willed person is able to realize the mistakes that he made, admit them to his opponent and try never to make them again. If you think that it is your husband who is the reason that your marriage is on the verge of collapse, he should not try to prove it. On the contrary, listen to your spouse, analyze his words, try to accept his claims and recognize your own mistakes. It is likely that, after seeing your efforts, the husband will realize that he still loves you and will not want to destroy the family.
- Take a step towards the meeting. No matter how tense the relationship between a husband and wife who are on the verge of divorce, they can be saved. The fact is that even if now the family is not having the best of times, once this couple rejoiced at every minute spent together. If you remind your spouse of this, old, long-forgotten feelings that he lacked so much may flood over him. To do this, you do not need to say anything at all, just arrange a pleasant surprise for him with notes of romance. For example, you can cook a light romantic candlelit dinner in your own home, dress nicely and tidy yourself up. During dinner, over a glass of delicious wine, you should have a casual conversation and in no case mention your problems.
How to improve relations with a husband on the verge of divorce, if he does not want to talk
What to do if you are trying to build a relationship with your spouse, while he does not even want to talk to you? The first thing to do is to give it time to cool down. Perhaps your spouse is so angry or offended with you that he does not want to communicate with you so as not to say too much or commit a rash act.
Believe me, having cooled down a bit, the spouse will again be ready for a conversation, which will take place in a more relaxed atmosphere. The main thing is not to rush things.
How to improve relations with a husband on the verge of divorce after his betrayal
If your spouse cheated on you and admits that he made a mistake, you need to sort out your own feelings. First of all, you should understand whether you can continue to live on with this person without mentioning his offense at every opportunity. It is also important to understand whether you can truly forgive him for betrayal, and not just try to forget it.
Remember that your spouse, if he really realized that he made a mistake, and he himself will never forget about it again. But if you constantly remind him of this, you certainly won’t be able to save the family. This is not a more trusting relationship between husband and wife, and will also force the husband to lie and hide some facts from his life.
Do not forget that the spouse's trip to the side is not entirely his fault. Perhaps you do not give him as much attention, tenderness and affection as he needs. Maybe you began to look completely different than before, when your relationship was at its peak. Probably, with the birth of a child, you began to pay all your attention only to him, completely forgetting about your husband. Whatever it was, but to correct this situation is not only possible, but necessary. Only in this way will the spouse be able to feel welcome again and begin to rush to your home from work.
Remember, any family relationship is like a fire that needs to be constantly fueled. If you do not throw wood into the fire, then soon it will go out, leaving behind only coals. Of course, not only the wife should do this, but also the husband. It happens that one of them forgets about it, then the second spouse should gently and gently push his partner to such an action.
