Husband communicates with ex-girlfriends - what to do?
Dinara Tairova 03.11.2014 1341
By creating a family, everyone brings their past into it. Today you can find out about the "ex" husband by looking at his page on social networks. What if you noticed ex-partners in his “friends”?
Some women stage scenes of jealousy or interrogation "with passion", others - silently accumulate grievances. In any case, the virtual life of a man casts doubt on the relationship with a real companion.
Why are we hanging out with exes?
When they get married, many women, willy-nilly, “appropriate” their husbands, forgetting that any man, even married, has the right to personal space.
This is especially true for those for whom the need for freedom and independence is one of the main ones. It is important for them to be a man in the eyes of not only his wife, but also other women. This ensures communication with the "former" via the Internet.
If a man “collects” them on social networks, this may indicate that he is not confident in himself, because flirting and online friendship helps to raise self-esteem and feel more significant. However, whatever the friendship between a man and a woman, it always contains a hint of something more, even if only for one person.
Virtual communication is no exception. For a woman, the fact that the “ex” signed her as a “friend” may mean hope for a renewal of the relationship.
As for the man, this most often indicates that he was unable to draw the line between the past and the present. Perhaps it is difficult for him to say “no” to “ex,” or perhaps, thanks to online communication with her, he gets something important, which he is now deprived of in his marriage.
How to react to virtual communication between husband and ex?
Much depends on how you found out about it. It is one thing if the husband himself told about his friends, and quite another when you "wool" the Internet and your mobile phone in search of evidence. This immediately demonstrates what kind of relationship you have with your spouse.
In order not to break the wood, first of all calmly analyze the situation. Do you feel confident next to your husband, does he give you enough warmth and love?
Often scenes of jealousy (and this is the most suitable reason for them) "reveal" the long-accumulated tension in the couple. Your family may be going through difficult times right now.
The stronger your suspicions, the more you are insecure as a woman. Husband's virtual girlfriends are just one of the signals about the problem. Arranging a scene of jealousy for her husband and demanding "remove everyone from friends" is the easiest way. Will it only keep the closeness between you?
Most likely, the spouse, on the contrary, will move away, trying to protect his territory, and even more often will disappear in the virtual world. The only way out is to answer honestly to yourself the questions: how much do you trust your spouse? Do you feel like you are gaining as a woman compared to his “exes”?
The more you feel threatened by virtual rivals, the less confident you are in the strength of your bond with your husband. Before looking for further evidence of his infidelity, try to figure out what happened between the two of you.
Meanwhile, the discovery of the "former" in the life of your husband can not only destroy your relationship with him, but also contribute to their development. If it is important for you to keep the family, then first of all, learn to appreciate everything that was and is between you, which makes your couple unique and strong, protects love and devotion to each other.
By constantly doubting your spouse, you will not achieve a positive result. Of course, it is difficult to stop controlling him and start trusting unconditionally, but as you know, the more jealous you are, the more it indicates that there is no trust and sincerity between you.
After all, earlier he, perhaps, also loved, but made a mistake and could not save his feeling. And now he is here with you, he is your husband. It's his choice.
Appreciate the present, instead of plunging into the virtual past, take care of the warmth of your love, and then it will become a talisman against unpleasant intrusions into your family by "third superfluous".
