Why do I have frequent quarrels with my husband (boyfriend)?
There is no couple in the world in which there has never been a quarrel. Wives quarrel with husbands, girls quarrel with boys. And vice versa. With a high temperament of both, quarrels literally fill all the couple's free time - they quarrel about everything in the world.
Note that within a couple of hours or days after the quarrel, everyone has a nasty feeling that this is wrong, that the quarrel could have been avoided, that whoever was to blame, it would have been possible not to make a scandal. We are ashamed of the words that we shouted in the heat of the quarrel. We are unhappy with what we heard from a partner during the same quarrel. Gradually, the clouds of quarrel disperse, and we forgive each other. And we also think that a quarrel will never arise between us again.
But then time passes and everything is repeated from the beginning. In the most advanced cases, it all ends in divorce (with her husband) or parting (with a boyfriend). After a while, we meet another person and think that everything will be different with him. But for some reason, everything happens exactly the same as the previous time. Directly some kind of curse, we think.
So why do you have frequent fights with your husband (boyfriend)? Why can't we live in harmony, as the famous Leopold the Cat bequeathed? It's so simple. Moreover, our partner is the one we once fell in love with. Is it really impossible to avoid annoying quarrels?
Today the saying "An ideal couple is when he and she look in the same direction" is very fashionable. And all as one repeat this phrase. And in the heat of a quarrel they even shout out to her partner in the ear: “Here! Normal people never quarrel! They are looking in the same direction with the wife (girl)! Not like you! Where you are looking is generally incomprehensible! " At this moment, we do not understand and do not realize that this phrase is just a stereotype, which in fact is the greatest delusion. Very often it is because of this postulate that the most wonderful couples in the world break up.
Quarrels with husband (boyfriend)
Think for a moment why people live in families? Why do a man and a woman create a marriage? Of course, you can think of many answers to this question: both because it is so accepted, and because love, and because the child needs both parents. But in fact, everything is simple - because throughout the entire historical (anal) phase of development, it was easier and easier to live this way. Together there are more chances to live life in harmony and pleasure than alone .. And to get money for a living, and have a good time, and find entertainment, and raise children, and organize a vacation ...
Let's fast forward a couple of tens of thousands of years ago. People then did not live in families, they lived in flocks. Why? For the same reason. Then it was that way it was easier to live, much easier to survive. Then, together, in an open field, an ordinary family of mom, dad and a child would easily have been killed by a tiger, and it was impossible for them to get food. In the pack, they could protect themselves from the tiger and drive a large beast in order to get enough.
Today we live in cities and villages and we are not threatened by tigers. And we can afford not to huddle together - 50 people in one cave. But, nevertheless, even today it is difficult for a person alone. Especially in the case of a child's birth. The same society puts pressure on us: we need to work, organize our own way of life, and leisure. It’s hard to do it yourself. It is much easier and easier to organize all this together.
If a couple is created to qualitatively improve their life, then who should be in this pair? Same people or opposites? Should they look in one direction or, on the contrary, take a perimeter defense in order to ensure themselves the best possible advance along the road of life? Think carefully before you answer. And let the yesterday's quarrel with your husband or boyfriend not be a hindrance to you.
A natural couple includes people with a different set of vectors, with different properties. This is what makes the couple more stable on the landscape, allows them to overcome difficulties with great success.
Therefore, subconsciously, we always choose the one who does not choose us. Thus, the anal partner chooses the urethral partner, the dermal partner chooses the anal partner, the urethral partner chooses the skin one, and the muscular partner chooses the muscular one. To create stable harmonious relationships, everyone cares not about fulfilling their personal desires, but the desires of a partner, that is, their views are directed at each other. Moreover, they cover the rear of each other, ensuring the safety of each other and the comfort of life. Roughly speaking, while one is on the alert, the other can rest. While one creates comfort at home, the other earns money. While one chooses the best curtains for the living room, the other is thinking how to save money on this. While one is preparing food, the other is thinking how to get this very food. Etc.
Yes, of course, there are couples created not on natural attraction, but on the basis of common views, interests .. They really look in the same direction. Yes, they do not quarrel with their husbands (boys). But their life is full of boredom and discomfort. For example, she is a librarian, and he is a teacher. As they say, they look in one direction. So what? In society, they are not completely adapted to life. Together they choose the curtains for two hours, and then they will shortcut them at exorbitant prices, because none of them even thought of bargaining. Together they clean the apartment and think about comfort, but neither one nor the other thinks about how to make more money and ensure a better life for themselves. Together they are madly in love with children, but neither of them can agree on a good kindergarten for them.
Or another example: he is smart and she is the same. He works as a good sales manager and she works as a journalist. They both know how to make money, both know how to bargain and know a lot about money. Yes, no one will ever cheat them, but they terribly do not like to clean and cook. Neither he nor she wants to stay at home with the children, but prefer to pursue a career.
Both couples seem to be looking in the same direction, but they do not help each other in their common life. Each of them and independently, without their own pair "looking in one direction", would live perfectly in this world.
Quarrels with husband (boyfriend)
Natural attraction, on which harmonious relationships are based, is possible only in people with different properties. This is fine. But what are we doing? Instead of appreciating all the positive qualities of our half and even to some extent admire her skills, we begin to compare her with ourselves, or even more, try to remake her for ourselves, reproach that she lacks the qualities that she has US.
So the first quarrels with her husband (boyfriend) arise, and then - as if on a knurled one. Not understanding the true desires and abilities of our partner, we only do what we say how bad he is. And it begins:
For example, I am sitting at home with children, I love them, I take care of them, and he only thinks about work ...
For example, I don’t want to sit at home with a child, I want to work, I want to be realized, but he only talks about children, as if the light had come together like a wedge on them ...
Here I, for example, wash the dishes well, cleanly, and he / she is a dude ...
For example, I earn money, and she wants us to clean up together on weekends ...
For example, I know how to choose clothes beautifully, and he is just an idiot ...
And they quarrel, and can quarrel to such an extent that no good love spell will help ...
STOP!
Human nature is really that - we like to compare ourselves with others and say that we are the standard. We like to see the world through ourselves. But this is a delusion - we are all actually completely different. And in a natural couple, each person is a piece of a two-sided puzzle. Only when they unite together, see the positive qualities of each other and use them for the good of the family, a real, harmonious couple is created, which no one can share.
Modern mental education is far from perfect and does not allow you to understand your partner, stop frequent quarrels with your husband (boyfriend), while there are fairly simple but effective ways to correct this scenario. For example, you can take a free training on
