Family on the verge of divorce: 7 tests in a relationship that will lead to love
True love is not given to a person just like that. First you have to come to terms with each other's flaws, pass the test of hatred, everyday life and cooling. Then make friends with the dark side of your partner, abandoning your own selfishness. A little later, patience is developed, you learn acceptance and forgiveness. And only with time, when a pound of salt is eaten, kilometers of hardships and insults are overcome, then love comes. Many mistakenly take the romance of the candy-bouquet period for a bright feeling, and when the hormones subside, they do not want to put up with reality, refusing to fight, even if the family is on the verge of a divorce. People are not ready to work, because you need to grow up to true feelings.
What stage are you at? We offer you to get acquainted with the important stages in the development of relationships that will eventually lead to true love and help you keep your family on the verge of divorce.
7 tips on how to pass the test in a relationship and keep a family on the verge of divorce
1. Falling in love
This is the stage at which hormones take over human nature. You just saw each other - and something inside stirred up the soul, there was a "chemistry of bodies", a real endorphin boom! Oxytocins have blocked the brain centers responsible for rational decisions and negative emotions, it seems that you are drunk on feelings. The appearance, voice, character and touch of a person cause unreasonable joy, you do not notice flaws in a partner, there are only solid pluses. The falling in love stage can last up to 1.5 years, inspiring partners to do crazy antics in the name of love or write pink poems.
- There is only one danger - to conclude a sudden marriage under the influence of hormones. Do not rush into life-changing decisions, it is better to wait until euphoria gives way to awareness.
2. Satiation
The intensity of passions subsides, emotions land, the brain turns on, which is not averse to soberly assess the situation and the partner nearby. This period can pass almost imperceptibly, partners get used to everyday life, get acquainted with the habits and specific features of each other, becoming more relaxed and natural in communication. It is at this stage that the advantages and weaknesses of each other are clearly visible, the first grinding of characters takes place, the couple switches to their standard mode.
- Relationships turn into a habit, enter into an ordinary rut - and this is normal.
All ages are submissive to love, but how do you know if the union will be strong? Extras searched for answers to this question, turning off emotions, leaving only sober facts. Read our article on 8 Factors in a Relationship That Increase the Likelihood of Divorce.
3. Disgust
The love passed, you got enough of each other, took off your rose-colored glasses and were horrified: did you really want to see this person next to you all your life? Romanticism turned out to be weak character, practicality turned into greed, love turned into dependence or jealousy. This stage is a real test for the couple, because all attention is now focused solely on the partner's shortcomings. Virtues are imperceptible, cute eccentricities seem the height of stupidity, habits are annoying. It begins to seem to both that they are too different, dissimilar and generally not a couple to each other. Endless quarrels begin, pulling the blanket and finding out who is to blame. Personal egoism exceeds the desire to move forward, often turns into a divorce, which.
- However, divorce is not the best solution, because with a new partner you will have to start all over again. Something more is needed...
4. Patience
At this stage, the understanding comes that it is impossible to remake a partner for yourself, he is not a toy, but a person, with his already established picture of the world, his own vision of problems and obvious advantages. Yes, both of you are not perfect, but you can adapt to each other, come to terms with visible imperfection. Quarrels happen less and less and no longer carry such a destructive character. Partners know that they will blow off steam and make up again, there is no fatalism. An active movement begins to start changes from themselves - both read psychological literature, attend various trainings, develop patience, acceptance and the ability to forgive.
- Wisdom is acquired - the first step on the path to preserving the family and true love.
5. Service
If in the previous stages both demanded due respect for themselves, not considering it necessary to give and invest something themselves, the stage of service is the complete opposite of egoism. There is no “you to me, I to you”, “become better”, “change for me”! Love begins to emerge, which wants to make the loved one happy for free. The partner stops demanding, strangling with guardianship or crushing with his desires, begins to show easy care just like that, consciously and voluntarily. There is a desire to please a loved one without waiting for a response from him, I want to serve him, to make the world better and brighter.
- If one of the spouses comes to the path of service first, he automatically pulls up half behind him by his own example.
6. Friendship
Partners have experienced many storms, losses and conflicts together, they know each other as flaky - characteristic habits, breadth of worldview, situations that drive them crazy, and ways to quickly calm down. Spouses have a lot in common, they are interested and comfortable together. There is a clear understanding of how to please a partner, make them laugh or give up in a conflict.
- This is how friendship is born, which is inseparable from respect and acceptance of the dark and light sides of a loved one.
7. Love
So we got to the last stage in the relationship, which collects all the best: instead of a simple attraction - real spiritual unity, instead of prejudices and requirements - acceptance and care, instead of disunity and self-pity - integrity and joy. Only years later, loved ones can boast of complete understanding from a half-word and half-gesture, they calmly react to shortcomings, skillfully smooth out sharp corners, and reveal the best in each other. Their weaknesses are smoothed out, and their strengths are doubled. Hormones over them are not subject, but they continue to experience a calm peaceful joy in the presence of each other.
- Perhaps, only those who could survive all the vicissitudes and prejudices without letting go of their happiness deserve such love. Who was faithful and devoted to love to the end. We hope everyone experiences this feeling!
Look for yourself and fight for your happiness - a real feeling is not given to anyone just like that! After passing 7 circles of tests, you will gain wisdom and be able to give advice to friends on how to save a marriage on the verge of divorce and.
