The state of being in love
The state of falling in love remains a mystery to people trying to understand its essence. And although scientists already know a lot of facts and have made enough discoveries, when they try to completely decompose love into its components, something invisible, but important in it, disappears.
Falling in love has been studied by many scientists, and psychologists have also made a great contribution to understanding its nature. But neither psychologists nor other specialists have a single view of this state, which excites the mind and heart.
What is falling in love? There are many definitions of falling in love, and they all reflect the biological, instinctive, uncontrollable nature of her essence, which, however, inspires and develops the moral qualities of a person.
Love- this is an acute and strong emotional experience in which passion prevails, due to physiological sexual attraction to the object of desire.
Love- feeling uncontrollable by the will and an altered state of consciousness that stimulates people to be creative (creating works of art, inventing unique technical models, making discoveries) and improving their own personality.
Love- this is the stage of the relationship between a man and a woman, which is popularly called the candy-bouquet period. As a stage in a relationship, falling in love arises shortly after or directly during the acquaintance of people and will certainly end after a while.
Another interesting definition that reveals the essence of falling in love: love- this is a psychoemotional state, similar to a stressful one in an extreme situation, and in terms of symptoms it resembles a mild mental disorder!
The main question that worries both scientists and all lovers is how long does being in love last?
The phrase "Love lives for three years" became common a few years ago, since the first studies aimed at studying the chemical reactions in the body of a person in love suggested that it was after three years the increased production of hormones that physiologically determine falling in love begins to gradually decrease. In other words, when the chemical reaction of love ends, love also leaves.
In fact, it is not love that is temporary, but falling in love! After all, it is she, not love, reinforced by:
- firstly, a burning sexual desire, which determines the passion between a man and a woman;
- secondly, the production of a whole cocktail by the body from:
- sex hormones (estrogen in women, testosterone in men),
- neurotransmitters responsible for the feeling of happiness, delight, euphoria (dopamine, serotonin, adrenaline),
- endorphins (chemical compounds with morphine-like action, physiological opiates),
- pheromones (volatile signaling molecules, translated from ancient Greek - "carrying excitement").
Today, a lot of other experiments have already been carried out and new, but also different data have been obtained, according to which falling in love lasts from six months to four years.
Falling in love really can't last forever, sooner or later it ends. Why? Simply because a person cannot be in an "abnormal" state for too long, the instinct of self-preservation is triggered, and at the sight of a loved one, the heart no longer beats so, the voice does not tremble, the palms do not sweat, the pupils do not dilate so that the iris is not visible, and so on ...
The processes of excitement prevailing in the brain and body sooner or later come into balance with the processes of inhibition, a person ceases to be pleasantly nervous in the presence of a loved one, relaxes, calms down and gets used to it.
The acuteness and novelty of emotions are replaced by regularity and stability. The delight of first dates and passionate meetings is replaced by analysis and assessment of the partner as a person, as a person capable of being a life partner. This is how love leaves, but not love!
What kind of feeling will replace falling in love no longer depends on hormones and instincts, but on the couple's desire to maintain a relationship. Will falling in love grow into great love or the relationship will come to naught, depends on the two lovers.
If falling in love develops into love, it has every chance of becoming eternal and lasting as long as a man and a woman wish it!
Falling in love cannot be kept, since it is impossible by an effort of will to continue the increased production of hormones and turn on sexual arousal day and night at will.
And love is like moral and ethical, which means that a socially conditioned, and not just biologically, feeling can be preserved, although this will require a lot of effort.
In love, not only passion matters, but also reason and will, as well as the moral qualities of partners (conscience, honor, loyalty, adherence to principles, the ability to empathize, and so on).
Falling in love, figuratively speaking, is a bright flash of fire, it will light up and go out, and love is an evenly burning hearth that will burn as long as firewood is thrown into it.
Falling in love is sudden and powerful. Nobody is immune from her. As suddenly as it begins, it can end. But a short time of falling in love is usually enough for a couple to get to know each other and conceive a child... This is exactly what it is goal falling in love - continuation of the human race.
The state of falling in love drowns out the voice of reason, highlights the dignity of the partner, and carefully hides the shortcomings, makes sexual attraction unrestrained and constant. The lover does not want to do anything, eat, drink, sleep, rest, work - nothing happens, thoughts and feelings only about the object of desire. Until the goal is achieved, that is, until the adored person begins to belong to the lover in soul and body, the love does not subside.
In love, there is a lot of natural, instinctive, unconscious. This attraction of passion, combined with necessity, is next to the adored person. Even the smartest and most reserved subject, succumbing to passion, can forget about everything.
Despite the fact that in our time it is not difficult to regulate the process of childbirth (the choice of methods of contraception is wide enough and they are available), it is during the period of falling in love that couples who are not even married often have children.
This fact confirms the power and power of love. Although not every early pregnancy is accidental, the fact that falling in love "turns off" the mind is undoubtedly.
But the relationship between the IQ and the willingness to have a child still exists. People more intellectuals have lesser the number of children and it takes longer to decide to have them, because they always think about the importance and the possibility of providing them with everything they need in the future.
If love is unhappy
If falling in love does not develop into love, then it becomes unhappy, forbidden, unrequited, tragic.
If all people knew and understood the nature of falling in love Perhaps there would be fewer people unhappy in love?
Perhaps today there would not be such a horrifying number of divorces and children growing up without a father? After all, the main reason for divorce is adultery. A person fell in love and "disappeared", and when he changed his mind (in other words, when the love, as one would expect, has passed), it is too late to correct anything.
You can fall in love again and more than once with a permanent partner, but also, loving him, you can fall in love with another person. The difference is that in the first case you will have to try, and in the second you will not have to do anything.
It is difficult, but still possible to stop, pull yourself together, think about the consequences, hear the voice of conscience: "The new love will pass, but it will not work to regain the trust of a permanent partner and his love."
Of course, many wives and husbands forgive betrayal and do not get divorced, but their family life is no longer cloudless.
Sometimes people, suffering from an uncommon passion, are very harmful to their health and psyche. If a person is in love maniacally, it is very difficult for him to believe and assume that falling in love will pass. But it always passes and a new, happy one comes to replace it!
Losing your head with passion, it can be hard to remember about self-love, but it just needs to be done! You need to save yourself for a new, true love!
Falling in love is strong, but a person differs from an animal in that he must be able to restrain his impulses, manage feelings and redirect them in a different direction.
The best defense mechanism of the psyche, designated and named by Z. Freud sublimation - the rescue from any uninvited love, passion, forbidden, as well as from unrequited love.
Sublimation Is a mental defense mechanism that relieves internal tension by redirecting sexual energy to achieve socially and morally acceptable goals. Feelings are mostly sublimated in the process creative work.
This is why so many poets, musicians and artists were inspired by falling in love, even if it was unhappy. That is why people who are more developed 
personally, intellectually, better educated and creative it is easier to manage even such a strong emotion as passion.
Falling in love is wonderful! Despite the fact that it almost drives a person crazy, how often you want to experience it over and over again! Voluntarily want to take this risk, stress and passion!
If there was no wild love, and there was only one prudent expediency, it is not known whether the human race would have continued.
And most importantly, it is love begins with love, it is the soil from which a great and real feeling grows. Falling in love pushes people into each other's arms, prompting them the path to happiness and love.
