Tip 1: how to get over a fight
Instructions
Get yourself out of the situation not only physically, but also. This is perhaps the most important step. Allow yourself to walk away, to be distracted from who or what is causing your discontent. It is enough just to change the environment, take a walk, leave home. One, remove yourself from a place where even an object can bring you back to the memory of and not let you calm down.
Release your anger through relaxing activities. Take up painting, construction, gardening. Even pulling weeds can be a way to rethink your attitude to a situation. Talk to your pet and pour out your soul. Or you can talk to your best friend, however, if you do not want to put the argument in a negative light, try to describe only the situation itself, without specifying names.
Engage in a completely outsider to completely distract yourself from the quarrel. This should be done after the release of your anger, in order to be in good disposition and to stop being upset about what happened. Let it be a walk in the woods, a relaxing bath, watching your favorite movie, meeting friends, going to a party.
Only after you have completely calmed down, return to the analysis of the quarrel. Think about ways to control your anger next time and avoid this situation. Now you are more relaxed and you can appreciate the circumstances from a perspective for yourself and perfectly.
Try to make up with the person with whom you quarreled. Assess the situation as much as possible while avoiding negativity. If the other person is still angry, leave it as it is for the moment. Reconciliation will not work if one of you, any attempt may lead to a new fight. If the state of conflict has dragged on, stock up on arguments and patience and try a relationship. A thin world is better than a good one!
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note
Pour out your soul and your problems only to the closest people, otherwise it can lead to rumors and new conflicts in your company.
Helpful advice
Remember, people tend to be wrong. Even if a person is wrong, he can continue to insist on his own. Just try to defuse the situation. If the debater doesn't stop, try to get away from the topic and leave him alone until both of you cool off.
It often happens that over a trifle, which in another case you can ignore and forget, a serious quarrel flares up. After a while, opponents are already throwing insults in the face, and dishes under their feet. Today the standard scenario looks like this - someone is sobbing exhausted, someone loudly slams the door, but both have bad feelings in their souls.
Instructions
Never insult each other, even if the conversation turns to offensive topics. In order for a dispute to develop into a quarrel, sometimes one deliberate or accidental insult is enough. Even if your relationship is the topic of conversation, try to focus on yourself, and not on the personality of your interlocutor.
Speak and listen alternately.
This is a fairly simple and effective psychological one at the same time. It consists in the fact that both parties in a quarrel must speak in turn. As soon as the simultaneous screaming stops, the conversation will turn to a lowered tone, and, in the end, turn into an ordinary conversation.
Put water in your mouth.
There are people who can get started with half a turn, they are distinguished by their quick temper, but quick-wittedness. If you pay attention to every phrase spoken in the heat of the moment, bickering will become your usual manner. Therefore, quietly keeping quiet is the only and sure way by which you can avoid frequent quarrels.
Stop signal.
If constant quarrels become a habit, try to come up with a special one with your opponent - a password that will instantly switch the topic of conversation. In practice, it looks like this: if you feel that a quarrel is brewing, say a special word, after which you and your opponent will be silent for a minute. Only after that you can continue the quarrel, but, as a rule, there will be no continuation.
Sex is most likely the most effective way you can avoid an argument. Probably, you have noticed more than once that your beloved deliberately provokes a quarrel, because after it it becomes the most pleasant. Try to push your man to this yourself, and, perhaps, your initiative will be encouraged.
Set up time measurements.
Try to agree that you can only fight during a certain period of time. Even if yours did not pass, it is impossible to talk on this topic in any case. If you can stand it at least once, next time you will already think about whether it is worth starting a new quarrel.
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Conflict situations often occur in life. They create stress, exhaust the nerves, make you worry. Therefore, most often people try to get away from conflict unless they are notorious brawlers. How can this be done most efficiently?
Instructions
The best way to get away from conflict- to prevent it. If you know that there is a scandalous person in your environment, or a person with whom you constantly have disagreements, try to keep your communication with him to a minimum. In the case when communication cannot be avoided, be polite and formal.
If the conflicting person nevertheless dragged you into a conflict, in no case do not be like him: do not shout, do not scandal, do not swear. Try not to lose face, because this is what your enemy wants to achieve. Say that you do not want to continue communicating in this tone, and no longer react to your opponent, no matter what he says. If he insults you, calmly say, "I will not continue to communicate with you until you apologize." And don't talk to him until you hear an apology.
In the event that the offender has brought you to the boiling point, and you can hardly restrain yourself so as not to start yelling at him, just get up and leave. Go to the kitchen for a cup of tea. Don't come back until you've regained your peace of mind.
Do not complain to your friends and acquaintances about this person. Try to stay calm and not discuss the behavior of your enemy, because this way you will again and again return to the conflict from which you want to get away.
In the event that you yourself become the initiator conflict, figure out what exactly annoys you so much that makes you go into conflict with others? As a rule, what greatly annoys a person in others is present in one form or another in himself, but he simply does not want to notice it. Deal with the part of yourself that prevents you from living in harmony with others. This will take you a big step along the path that leads to happiness and harmony.
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Sources:
- How to resolve conflicts with a child and avoid disputes if he
Quarrels and scandals have many reasons and reasons, but, as a rule, in addition to a spoiled mood, mutual insults and grievances, as well as unnecessary reckless words, they do not lead to anything good, and their consequences can become completely destructive. Therefore, the most sensible thing to do if you become a witness or, unfortunately, a participant in a quarrel is to prevent it.
Instructions
First of all, your principle in life should be to refrain from quarreling as a method of solving problems. If you understand that in quarrels you will never prove to anyone, then you are already subconsciously preventing the conflict.
If you are not quite what your partner is, do not rush to answer. Think about the reasons for such actions, put yourself in the place of the interlocutor and try. Do not start criticizing him, expressing your dissatisfaction, so that this does not become a reason for a quarrel.
If you fell silent, and the interlocutor perceived this as your surrender in an argument, you should not dissuade him from this until he cools down and takes your words calmly.
It is possible that on reflection, you will discover that you are wrong in some situation. In this case, calmly admit it and you will nip the conflict in the bud.
When the other person says something in an irritated tone, try not to interrupt. Listen calmly. Thus, an incipient quarrel can turn into a more constructive channel.
If you feel that the verbal skirmish might get out of hand, change the topic of the conversation. Try to speak calmly and in a balanced manner, without shouting or raised tones.
Agree with all the arguments of the irritated, do not argue. The best way out in this situation is your smile (only without sarcasm!) And benevolent intonation. If the person is angry and is not going to stop quarrel, calmly leave the room, but try not to slam the door and not say anything superfluous "under the curtain."
Get out into the fresh air or visit someone. A change of environment will work well for you, unless, of course, you continue to replay the unpleasant situation in your mind, and even more so, tell someone else about it.
In family conflicts, very often quarrel prevents good sex. If this is your situation, take action! And don't quarrel.
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Quarreling, misunderstandings, conflicts are natural manifestations of human relations. Even the most loving, most devoted married couple is not immune from this. After all, people are not soulless mechanisms. Both husband and wife can be upset about something. In such a situation, any unsuccessful or at the wrong time said word can serve as a "trigger". Since a woman is considered the keeper of the home, the psychological well-being in the house largely depends on her. So how should she behave in order to avoid unnecessary quarrels with husband?
Instructions
First of all, understand that marriage is the art of compromise. In no case should you stubbornly insist on your own, all the more to resort to such "female weapons" as tears, scandals, hysteria. There is no better way to have a husband! Somewhere you need to give in. If you think your point of view is correct, then you need to prove it convincingly, with the help of arguments, and not emotions.
Remember that men and women are made up differently. Due to physiological and psychological differences, they look at the same thing differently. And because of this, their interests are also different. Therefore, it is completely useless to try to interest the husband with a story about the latest gossip heard from girlfriends. And it’s all the more senseless to be offended by him for the fact that in the midst of such an exciting story he suddenly began to yawn.
Think: would your patience be long enough if your husband with burning eyes began to tell you about the last football match of his favorite team or about some technical novelty that you do not understand at all?
Immediately try to tune in to the fact that for the overwhelming majority of men the word "order" means immeasurably less than. If your husband does not throw his clothes and socks all over the place, consider yourself lucky, and do not tempt fate with petty (from his point of view) nagging about the fact that every thing should have its place.
Remember that men get annoyed when a woman takes too long to get ready. Of course, purely theoretically, they understand that the fair sex takes much more time to get ready, but in practice it very quickly begins to anger them. Especially when time is running out. Therefore, try all the same to start gathering ahead of time, so that your beloved does not alternately throw evil glances at the clock, then at his beloved "kopushka".
Do not forget that the vast majority of males are much more restrained, secretive than women. And at the same time they hate it when they "climb into the soul." If your husband is clearly upset about something, puzzled, but does not want to talk about it - do not insist, give him time to "move away." If he wants, he will tell everything himself.
Nobody likes to quarrel. However, sometimes the conflict breaks out over sheer nonsense. To prevent these unpleasant moments, you need to know some of the subtleties of communication.
Instructions
Before deciding on your behavior in a conflict that has arisen, decide whether you need it now. Sometimes a fight is the only way to initiate a dialogue with a person. However, more often than not, it remains just a source of experience for all participants. To avoid quarreling it is possible in advance - to prevent its occurrence even with all the prerequisites for this, or to nullify the already arisen conflict. In any case, the main thing is the ability to control your own emotions.
To get away from quarreling, learn to switch the attention of its initiator to side points. Do not give in to provocations, hints and reproaches. Make it clear to your opponent that you understand his ultimate goal - to provoke a conflict, and you are not going to help him in this. Instead, offer to discuss the problem in a calm and constructive manner. When criticizing yourself, control your emotions by objectively evaluating what was said. Instead of denying everything and making excuses, admit fair statements - this will deprive your opponent of the opportunity to develop the quarrel further. If your opponent is emotionally intense, try to distract and calm him down. For example, report that the refusal to spend the weekend together was motivated by a desire to take overtime to get the opportunity to present an unexpected gift.
If there is a fight, try to translate it into a constructive dialogue as soon as possible. If the reproaches and accusations are true, apologize and explain what reasons forced you to do this. Make it clear that you have realized your guilt and in the future will try to avoid the repetition of such situations. If you've done something that is guaranteed to cause conflict, the best way to prevent it is to admit it when you meet and immediately sincerely apologize.
It happens that even the greatest love leaves us, and the understanding comes that there is no longer a loved one nearby. Increasingly, thoughts of divorce are flashing. How can you part with your spouse in a civilized way and avoid scandals, showdowns and reproaches?
Instructions
Inform about the breakup in person. You can not report the breakdown of relations using SMS, e-mail, phone call. In this way, you will only demonstrate your disrespect for your husband. It is necessary to meet and talk face to face. Thus, you will help your partner to get over the breakup easier, to get answers to his questions. Otherwise, you simply deprive him of the chance to fully understand the current situation and understand what the problem is, why it is necessary to leave.
Do not discuss your upcoming breakup in front of others. The conversation should take place in private and not in a public place. A cafe, restaurant and other establishments are in no way suitable for these purposes. Before you start a conversation, make an introduction that will prepare your ex-loved one for bad news.
Talk to your husband about your situation. Try to explain to your spouse that you are not satisfied with your life together, indicate the reasons that prompted the decision to break up. Also decide on the division of jointly acquired property, and if there are children - guardianship over them.
Let go of your guilt. An ex-partner may have a hard time breaking up, constantly pouring out his grief to you. But you don't have to become a "vest" for him, where he can cry at any moment. Give him the opportunity to go through this period on his own or turn to friends, a psychologist for help.
Don't go back and change your decision. If you doubt your deed, rush back and forth, then thereby only aggravate the situation and make your partner more painful. Try to limit communication with your husband for a certain time (for example, a month), so that you will not be able to change your mind every day.
Treat your ex-spouse with respect. After you meet a new friend, avoid phrases in communication with him that are unflattering about your past partner.
It is difficult to find a couple who has never quarreled. In life together, sometimes there is a clash of interests, and the partners have to somehow get out - to look for compromises, to agree to concessions. If you act correctly, quarrels can even be beneficial, because they help resolve situations that did not suit one of the partners.
Calm, only calm
There are men who are delighted by angry women. While you scream, periodically breaking into a squeal, swinging a rolling pin, and your bangs puff up belligerently, the young man's eyes light up. He makes a clever thrust, deprives you of the rolling pin, and now you are already hammering your fists into his wide chest, and he begins to press you into the bedroom. However, there are few such men. The bulk of the stronger sex is extremely hard to endure female squeals and tears. If you want to quarrel correctly and successfully convey your thought - do it without hysterical sobbing and throwing plates at your spouse.
In childhood, boys are not allowed to hit girls, but adults rarely pay attention when girls hand out cuffs to boys. During a quarrel, do not get carried away with assault: this is offensive for a man, and in some cases it is painful.
Effectively, with arrangement
Deliver your claims calmly and as much as possible. Perhaps the young man did not realize how annoying you are with his habit of not removing his hair from the comb. And if he guessed, but for some reason she is dear to him, you will have to look for compromises together - whether to get each a separate set of combs or change your hairstyle.
Be straightforward and don't beat around the bush. If you do not like that while you are sick, the man does not cook chicken broth for you, but goes to raids, say so, and do not confuse him with vague hints.
The game of "silence"
Silence is a fairly common behavior strategy after a quarrel. The offended woman turns away and falls silent, demonstratively going about her business. It is assumed that the repentant partner should bring the necessary words of apology, but in fact he may not even guess about the cause of the conflict, and for timid attempts to clarify the situation or just make peace, the lady digs deeper into the book. Offended silence is possible only in those cases when you are sure that yours is aware of what you are offended. And this should not be done for long, otherwise the man will get used to it and even begin to enjoy the silence.
Talk less, work more
If reasonable arguments do not help in a quarrel with a partner, it is time to move on to action (or inaction - it all depends on the specific situation). Coming home, your spouse casually throws off his clothes on a chair, although you have repeatedly asked him not to do this, ironed a crumpled suit and put it in the closet? Just leave things where the man put them. The next morning, he will either in a hurry try to bring the jacket back to its normal form, or put on another, but if he does not get used to hanging clothes in the closet, fresh suits will soon run out, and he will either have to get used to order or iron his things himself.
Probably, there is not a single married couple who, at least once, and did not quarrel. Psychologists say that quarreling with a loved one is useful - it strengthens the family, allowing them to voice their claims to each other. Thus, the conflict can be resolved in the bud. However, the feelings that remain in the soul after a quarrel are, to put it mildly, unpleasant. How it is necessary to quarrel "correctly" so that after the scandal there would be a truce.
Time and place. The best option would be if your quarrel happens away from prying eyes. Then you don't have to blush for your incontinence. In addition, the sweet reconciliation that will surely follow, certainly does not need witnesses.
It is important for parents to remember that they cannot quarrel with children. For them, this is a disaster, the collapse of their stable world. If, nevertheless, the kids witnessed the conflict, try to calmly explain to them that you still love them and love each other.
Definitely do not start quarrels on an empty stomach. Hungry people are always more aggressive, and hungry men are doubly irritable.
Don't be shelved. Over time, a postponed conversation can turn into a real scandal. Emotions that have not received an outlet will gradually accumulate, and can spill out at any minute. If your other half is trying with all his might to get away from the discussion of the issue, be persistent and explain that this topic does not bother you.
Just one topic. Try not to expose all old sins in a quarrel. Limit yourself to solving one pressing problem. Try to avoid the temptation to recall any past grievances.
We build the right claims. From what kind of phrase will fly off your lips, the perception of the same situation may be different. "You forgot to call me back again!" - this is a continuous accusation that can cause irritation. “I was very worried when you didn't call back” - the emphasis is on your feelings, and this phrase is perceived in a completely different way.
Watch your words and actions. If a quarrel has flared up in earnest, try to still control what you say. Insults, comparisons with someone, or just an unflattering statement hurt deeply and are remembered for a long time. No matter how angry you are, in no case should you stoop to assault. Physical aggression is a long-term, huge resentment.
The most pleasant thing after a constructive fight is reconciliation. However, there is no need to rush if you have not “cooled down” yet. But tightening is also not correct. Going to bed with resentment, against each other, is not worth it, tk. fights of many days only exacerbate the situation. If it is still difficult to forgive your other half, think about the pleasant moments in your married life, remember, in the end, why you fell in love with this person. And the anger will disappear, as if it did not exist at all.
Surely every family knows what a quarrel is. Quarrels are different - from offended silence to a loud scandal, or even to assault. But it's worth knowing that even the quietest spat leaves a mark on a relationship. Therefore, you need to learn how to prevent them.
Very often people accumulate some claims to each other, keep them silent, and discontent accumulates so much that one awkward movement can cause a storm of indignation. The second side, on which all this pours out, rightly tries to justify itself, but it turns out even worse. In order not to make an elephant out of a fly, it is simply necessary to discuss any discontent. Minor remarks will replace a major quarrel, in which it is not the spouses themselves who suffer, but their children.
But, even if the quarrel could not be avoided, you must not let her destroy the whole relationship. You can't mix everything in one heap and remember all those mistakes that happened over the years. These blunders may have already been corrected, after them there was a completely peaceful family life, why stir up the old?
Another eternal mistake is that when quarreling, spouses try to hurt each other as painfully as possible. And this, after all, does not solve the problem, does not eliminate the causes of the quarrel, but most likely, on the contrary, causes a reaction from the defense and even stronger accusations fly into the attacker.
The main rules of the scandal
Unfortunately, modern life does not exclude scandals. Communication with others often forces you to be able to stand up for yourself. Surely, everyone in his life thought about how not to cross the line beyond which a person ceases to be a social being and turns into an evil monster. Therefore, the problem of how to swear correctly is very urgent.
First of all, you need to learn how to control yourself. Keep in mind that any violent scandal, sooner or later, can lead to a moment after which it will be difficult for you to direct your actions. Therefore, you need to learn to control yourself and interrupt the scandal in time. Most effectively, any situation will be resolved only when the passions subside, and negative emotions become less obvious.
Learn not to build up grudges. Accumulating as a heavy load, sooner or later they will spill over into a grandiose scandal. Much more effect can be achieved by discussing the problem immediately after it arises in a calm atmosphere.
Always try to choose the right time and place for your showdown. This is of particular importance because otherwise, the desired result will not be obtained. For example, a husband who is late for work will not hear your requests for help, no matter how convincing they are.
Correct words
It is equally important to use the correct words and phrases in solving any issue. Try to choose individual words and sentences carefully. Your goal in any disagreement should be the ability to make sure that further events take place in the direction you want. Therefore, it is worth considering that insulting a person will lead to the opposite result, because the offended person will most likely do everything in spite of you.
Keep your speech calm. You should not persistently prove your case and avoid using scandal-provoking phrases in conversations. For example, very often such phrases as “it makes no sense to talk to you”, “what an egoist you are” or “you are not good for anything at all” lead to a scandal. Try not to move away from the main topic of the conversation, you should not remember past grievances. Otherwise, everything will intertwine and, as a result, the conversation will not lead to anything good.
Never mention third parties during an argument. Relatives and friends should not become a subject for clarification of the relationship. This is due to the fact that you will make peace, and the involved relatives will not be able to forgive you for this for a long time.
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This pause is a very important moment, it will allow you not to get into a quarrel and begin to control the situation. You need to calm down and minimize your first negative reaction.
At this stage, it is important to continue to hold back from getting into an argument, not letting yourself be pulled into it. To do this, you can, for example, smile - this can soften the situation, but this can be done only if it is appropriate, the context of the situation is important here; also, as a universal recipe, it is worth using simple silence - you need to silently listen to your wife, non-verbally confirming that you are listening carefully.
Further, when the woman has passed the peak of emotional stress, you need to find a way to yield to your wife, showing it this way - you need to agree with her. You may still be fundamentally against it, but it is important to agree with her opinion, confirm that you understand her, are ready to listen, respect her opinion.
In this concession, we show that we are strong. We do not reject her opinion, we do not go into conflict. We are ready to discuss. Next, you need to move on to a calm discussion of the problem.
Restraint, calmness, an offer to discuss the problem, yielding in a dispute, maximum benevolence - all this should give a result.
